To ask what's the etiquette with being fussy about restaurant suggestions?

[negativetesting]

I'm a bit of a fussy eater, I pretty much only eat English, American, Italian or Mexican food. I'm also a vegatarian so don't eat meat or fish.

It's never really been an issue as most of my friends and family are fairly similar, or we'll go somewhere that has diverse options.

However, at work they are always suggesting restaurants I just won't like.

I usually respond saying I'm quite fussy but happy to try or happy to just have some sides. Is that the best response?

Yes.

You're being fussy, you acknowledge that and don't try to force people to other choices.

That being said, have you suggested any places?

What sort of thing are they suggesting that there's nothing you'd like?

That's a good response.
You don't sound that fussy IMO.

Your reply sounds a bit martyr ish. Just accept or decline surely?

Sounds OK to me. You're not demanding that they go somewhere else. Even most Indian restaurants do chips these days.

If you're going to oppose a suggestion I think you should offer an alternative

I think it's fine as long as you're not asking them to go somewhere else to accommodate your requirements.

I think if you can find stuff you like to eat on the menu then go with the majority but maybe occasionally be the one to suggest ideas or pick the restaurant.

It's hard in a group dynamic to please everyone so I think sucking it up sometimes then other times asking for your choice is a good compromise.

I worked with someone with an apparently severe dairy intolerance who would always kick off about lack of choice on menus. Christmas party booking was a nightmare and they'd regularly ask for menu changes. Then you'd catch him eating fucking dairy milk at his desk!

I think that sounds unnecessarily negative - if you're prepared to go and just have sides, do that without announcing it first.

As long as you don’t make a big deal about only ordering sides, it’s fine. It’s better just to agree than do the “well, ok, but” thing. Or decline politely.

Sounds good though if you're happy to have sides just order the sides when you get there.

Or suggest lots of alternatives you do eat

Perhaps you should try the odd "different" restaurant with an open mind and see what you think? I'm not asking you to go to a surf and turf place obviously, but the vast majority of restaurants now have at least a couple of veggie options.

What's the worst that could happen? - only that you might walk away and think "I didn't love XXXX but at least I know that for certain for next time".

And the best thing is that you might extend your dining repertoire and open up a new social circle.

@Newchallenge

I think that sounds unnecessarily negative - if you're prepared to go and just have sides, do that without announcing it first.

I agree with this. There's nothing wrong with your approach but you don't need to make a point of it. No one will think anything of it if you order sides/starters only.

Are these work events, or social ones?

@toppkatz

Are these work events, or social ones?

Yes, this makes a big difference, asmin work ones should be suitable for all but social are optional so can be whatever (but not too exclusionary).

You could always try broadening the range of food you eat.

Just dont go. Or go and give something a try.

I agree you don’t need to announce your fussiness or the fact you’ll just eat sides. I’d find that irritating in itself

It seems unnecessary detail - as above just accept or decline. No one will care what you order

Its a pity, you miss out on so much. But so do lots of people. Id be careful not to point out your fussyness, its really bad for your image in work to be honest. But do agree to go, sneakily check the menu and if you can cope with some of the sides or the veggie option or whatever, then go. If you can't, then pull out with an acceptable excuse.

@Newchallenge

I think that sounds unnecessarily negative - if you're prepared to go and just have sides, do that without announcing it first.

Yes this.

But you might find if you try different cuisines that you broaden your palette.

Even my local curry house will do you a cheese omelette and chips.
It's on the menu for fussy people.

You don’t have to be a drama Queen about it, either say yes and go without announcing what you’re going to eat/not eat or don’t go at all. And how do you know all these places they suggest are places you “won’t like”?
Seems quite attention seeking tbh

I have high functioning autism, and am a very fussy eater. Trying new thing can make me sick at times. If you aren’t used to highly seasoned food, it can cause serious gastric problems. It’s not always easy to just suggest people try new foods. It’s worth checking menus online. Eating just starters or two sides can often work.