Think my husband has a lovechild

[Claire14467]

I am in shock and I don’t know what to do. I have just been contacted by a young man who has done an ancestry.com DNA test. He says the site indicates that there is a parental match to my husband. I know we have done these so they have our DNA on the system but I must say my husband was not keen on it at all at the time.
I am absolutely in shock. He is at work right now and I don’t know how I will face him later. Could this be wrong? Could this man be lying to get money?
Has anyone had a similar experience and got to the bottom of this?! I’m literally shaking with worry and anger.

Without more info it’s impossible to determine whether this is likely or not. So I would hold fire until you have more details.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I found my father on ancestry and a brother. I was so excited and contacted them. Shit storm ensued and I was told never to contact them again or else. I was devastated as my mother and stepfather rejected me and I was made to leave their home at 16. Whatever your feelings are this young man has done nothing wrong and deserves at least a photo. I didn't even get that and know nothing about mt heritage, family or medical history which is all I wanted really. Its pretty awful being rejected by both parents.

I'm so sorry diamondinthesky. Something similar happened to me when I finally found my half brothers. One's heart breaks, especially when there has been a lot of previous rejection.

Wish you peace and belonging somewhere, with a family of love rather than blood, when the blood lot let you down.

Wishing you all the best tonight op

Btw “love child “ is hardly vulgar??old fashioned twee and inaccurate but how on earth is is vulgar ?

@elelel did apologise ages ago

I hope it’s all just been a misunderstanding. This would be absolutely earth shattering

Hope the talk goes well.

@nitsandwormsdodger

Wishing you all the best tonight op

Btw “love child “ is hardly vulgar??old fashioned twee and inaccurate but how on earth is is vulgar ?

Yep. @elelel is getting piled on by people who haven't read her apology, which is a shame. But vulgar is the last thing that the term 'lovechild' should be called. It's what such children were called when I was a kid in the 60s and 70s, by people who didn't want to use the word bastard (which was the other, and possibly earlier nomenclature).

So yes, old fashioned, but definitely not vulgar. My somewhat prim GMs used it because it was bastard that was vulgar.

Hope the chat goes well

shehasdiamondsinthesky

Both your parents have lost out, depending on age I’ll gladly be your mum/sister/niece (((hug))) seriously I’m in NE London pm me x

Fingers crossed this is all a big mistake op, I genuinely hope so

Has anyone said "sperm donor" yet? Did your DH ever donate to a sperm bank?

Does your husband have a sibling?

Never thought about donating sperm. Or does DH have a twin or brother?

There is a risk it’s a scam / mistake.

It could also be someone vulnerable finally finding their dad after years of searching.

Go gently, seek further info from both husband and the young man, and don’t assume anything yet.

It would have to be an identical twin brother. A random brother would not produce this result.

If the H was really reluctant to do the DNA test in the first place I find it difficult to believe that he would then let the OP be the account keeper, just in case this situation occurred.

8 pages is a lot of reading especially as most of us are feeding/ putting kids to bed. So I genuinely was not ganging up on ever said
“ vulgar” not at all ...I was curious about language and perceptions of the word , some people have strong feelings about the word
“ moist” No pile in from where im slobbing so sorry if you ( whoever you are ) took it that way ...will you read my apology I wonder ?

My brother found out he had another daughter but it was before he married. Maybe I should read all your posts and I will but are you sure it's not his brothers or fathers

@gsaoej

It would have to be an identical twin brother. A random brother would not produce this result.

Problem is.

The OP has been very unclear about what the "result" actually is.

With respect, your comment isn’t cool elelel. This poor lady is hurt and in shock. Your comment adds nothing and it’s not the time or place to add to her distress with a comment that quite frankly makes you sound a bit unpleasant. Please try and show the compassion to others that you would rightly expect if you were in her position. Thanks

Living people are publicly viewable on Ancestry, if you’re registered. Everyone on my Tree alive or dead is open to view.

@CascaChan

With respect, your comment isn’t cool elelel. This poor lady is hurt and in shock. Your comment adds nothing and it’s not the time or place to add to her distress with a comment that quite frankly makes you sound a bit unpleasant. Please try and show the compassion to others that you would rightly expect if you were in her position. Thanks

And @elelel has repeatedly apologised.

@Claire14467 I do hope this is as simple as the person contacting you confusing paternal and parental

Is your husband adopted? maybe he has a twin brother.

@CascaChan

With respect, I apologised 6 hours ago. Then again and again and again.