To not feel comfortable using work's unisex toilets

[Whatafustercluck]

My employer is moving offices into a different building. All the toilets are unisex. Most of the men seem fine with this (those who made the decision to move there are men) while the women I've spoken with don't feel comfortable about this for various reasons, from cleanliness to embarrassment about male colleagues knowing they're on their period or whatever. I'm really not happy with this, but feel like it's expected to just get on with it and it's considered somewhat old fashioned to think/ feel this way. Aibu?

My daughters secondary school are doing this. Cubicles on each side of the room, male one side, female on the other with shared sinks in the middle.
Nothing to stop males going into the female side and vice versa.

Parents are not happy about it but legally it is allowed to be done.

I hate the pressure on women to be all cool and comfortable with this.
That it is OUR problem if we feel awkward about our periods or being in the next cubicle to a man. It completely disregards that MANY men are not mature, considerate and kind. That many men will take the piss, make stupid comments and take pleasure in making their female colleagues feel uncomfortable.

Fuck that.
Kick up a fuss, together with other female colleagues if at all possible. Don't just put up with this crap. No-one making these decisions is doing it for women's benefit or taking their needs into consideration. This is all about men.

I have no wish to sit in a man's piss. I have never had that problem in a women's toilets at work.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the potential for voyeurism.

Op don't wait and see, it'll be too late. Get in at the planning stage and find out what you're dealing with. Check the regulations for workplace standards. Lots of threads here already (try the sex and gender board). Good luck!

Hidden camera in costa loos
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-48647089

Nope I’d hate that too OP. Because:

Safety
Privacy
Hygiene

It’s a no-brainer really!

Even if they're complete rooms, men are disgusting (I used to clean toilets). They piss on the seats, do performance shits and wank. A lot of them are also complete perverts who will totally get off on sitting on a toilet seat that a woman had just sat on.

Grim.

@Whatafustercluck

My employer is moving offices into a different building. All the toilets are unisex. Most of the men seem fine with this (those who made the decision to move there are men) while the women I've spoken with don't feel comfortable about this for various reasons, from cleanliness to embarrassment about male colleagues knowing they're on their period or whatever. I'm really not happy with this, but feel like it's expected to just get on with it and it's considered somewhat old fashioned to think/ feel this way. Aibu?

Frankly I would make a point of using a moon cup and washing it out rather messily in the sinks until the message hits home.

[quote GoodieMoomin]I'm surprised no one has mentioned the potential for voyeurism.

Op don't wait and see, it'll be too late. Get in at the planning stage and find out what you're dealing with. Check the regulations for workplace standards. Lots of threads here already (try the sex and gender board). Good luck!

Hidden camera in costa loos
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-48647089[/quote]
Yes I remember reading about a man's dead body discovered behind a women's toilet. He got stuck. Bloody pervs!

It’s not the mens fault if women are embarrassed about having periods. I think you are kind of clutching at straws and making mega assumptions about this one.

Have never ever seen anyone washing out a menstrual cup in public toilets. You just tip it down the loo and wipe it out with toilet paper

@8misskitty8 I'm not sure that's legal? I think the regs say kids 8+ should have separate facilities. Can you challenge the school? Besides the embarrassment, potential for bullying, voyeurism and sexual abuse, lots of girls simply stop drinking in order to avoid needing to pee. This affects concentration which impacts their learning and that's before you even get to the health implications.

Lots of threads about this and great advice on the sex and gender board (sorry to repeat myself!).

OP, I think you and other women need to put your collective foot down about this NOW. It’s harder to reverse the decision once made. For many reasons an awful lot of women don’t want to share toilets with men, this should be respected. As well as dealing with periods etc, don’t underestimate the fact that there are men that will get their cheap thrills out of making women uncomfortable in these spaces.

@user1471453601

How would male colleagues know you were having a period?

And even if they did, for some odd reason, so what? You are all adults. If adult makes don't know that some women have periods, they are v v immature.

Do you share a loo with males at home? I personally don't (all female household), but when I did, it caused no problems. Males are quite capable of hygienic behaviour both in and out of the loo.

This.

If my office (large, 250 employees) did this I would likely decide to WFH full time.

I don’t want to share toilets with 125 male colleagues. Men masturbate in the toilets, men install hidden cameras in toilets. Just the presence of men will make many women incredibly uncomfortable! Women from religious backgrounds and sexual assault survivors in particular may find it makes their work environment intolerable.

I hate that stupid fucking straw man argument about your toilet at home being unisex. Yes, it is- but the males who use it are my immediate family, not a bunch of people I barely know.

What is maddening is there is no reason for this! What’s wrong with sex segregated toilets for everyone’s privacy and dignity?

I’ve kicked off at our work. We have 8 floors with 2 sets of loos (4 cubicles in each - a tall man could see over) plus a unisex disabled on each floor. It’s completely unnecessary from a space perspective and unisex is NOT being pushed for from our employees (it’s an external ‘diversity’ group ‘advising’ us to do it). I don’t think it works for our religious employees either. I’ve raised it to the risk team not the diversity team (with crime stats) and they’re listening.

[quote GoodieMoomin]@8misskitty8 I'm not sure that's legal? I think the regs say kids 8+ should have separate facilities. Can you challenge the school? Besides the embarrassment, potential for bullying, voyeurism and sexual abuse, lots of girls simply stop drinking in order to avoid needing to pee. This affects concentration which impacts their learning and that's before you even get to the health implications.

Lots of threads about this and great advice on the sex and gender board (sorry to repeat myself!).[/quote]
Totally agree with you. All sorts go on in single sex toilet blocks, having them mixed/unisex will be much worse.
There will still be single cubicles with sinks inside dotted around the school but the main toilets will have this fully unisex set up.
The parents did challenge it, wrote to the school and council but the council approved the plans, Every new built school will have toilets the same as well going forward.
It’s ridiculous.

As others have said, it depends on the set up.

All completely self contained units, with sinks in the units, floor to ceiling doors, directly off the main concourse - fine. Preferable even, because all of the available space is used for the benefit of all.

Any element of “shared space” or semi private area that isn’t visible from the main concourse - not Ok.

@user1471453601

How would male colleagues know you were having a period?

And even if they did, for some odd reason, so what? You are all adults. If adult makes don't know that some women have periods, they are v v immature.

Do you share a loo with males at home? I personally don't (all female household), but when I did, it caused no problems. Males are quite capable of hygienic behaviour both in and out of the loo.

When you walk out with a bloody moon cup and wash it in the sink!!

@user1958493

Bad enough doing a poo with women listening, let alone men 😩

I would not want to smell male poo....!!

YADNBU.

I find this baffling. Why do firms do this?

According to the BBC, it’s unlawful:
“ Since the 1992 Workplace Regulations Act, failing to ensure that men and women employees have separate toilet facilities is unlawful.”
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-59785477

Oh and by the way, normal decent men don’t want to intrude in women’s spaces either.

The men haters having a good old go again.

And so what if women have to share toilet space at home? Doesn’t mean it’s safe or comfortable for them even there when DV is so rife and unpunished

Hidden cameras are not something I wanted to bring up, because it shouldn’t even need to be that extreme to get the point across, but the man primarily responsible for abusing me had them in his own home toilet/shower/bedroom and regularly used a local businesses toilets prior to his therapy appointments and if the cops had a fucking single care about women they would have checked those too for cameras before giving him months and months of time to remove them before bringing him in.

You might think the men you know might ‘not be like that’ but that’s exactly what I thought about the man I knew for nearly a decade before his hidden cameras, spiking and rapes were revealed in horrifying and permanently life altering ways.

If granting the benefit of the doubt results in a woman being raped or a man having to use male only toilets then seriously who is advocating that women bear the brunt of sexual assault, a lifetime of mental health issues Vs man having to pee with other men?

Really? Ffs

That’s a weird take @3scape. I don’t hate men. I just don’t want to share toilet facilities with them.

@offersoverr

Oh and by the way, normal decent men don’t want to intrude in women’s spaces either.

No, you're right, normal decent men don't. Unfortunately in every large business, there'll be a small percentage of men who aren't.

What is the benefit to women of unisex toilets? It's only been 140 years since the first women's public toilets were introduced and now they're being revoked.

If it's a facility for just one person at a time people don't care obviously but one that both women and men can use at the same time would be disconcerting to many people.