To not feel comfortable using work's unisex toilets

[Whatafustercluck]

My employer is moving offices into a different building. All the toilets are unisex. Most of the men seem fine with this (those who made the decision to move there are men) while the women I've spoken with don't feel comfortable about this for various reasons, from cleanliness to embarrassment about male colleagues knowing they're on their period or whatever. I'm really not happy with this, but feel like it's expected to just get on with it and it's considered somewhat old fashioned to think/ feel this way. Aibu?

Are you sure you can tell the difference between a transman and a cis man? If not aren't you opening up the possibility for cis men to use women's toilets by claiming to be trans?

This is a really silly gotcha. Just because a minimal minority of FTM trans people can successfully "pass" as male in public, does not mean women are suddenly going to be happy with blindingly obvious males in female spaces.

Ooh it's taken you many posts to actually say the transphobia word @HandScreen.

As ever, if you spot any transphobia, do report it to MN. They're pretty hot on deleting any posts that cross a line.

FWIW it's not transphobic for women to want single sex spaces and be angry when they're taken away from us.

Self enclosed units pose theor own problems or do you not understand that?

The gaps under the doors enable you to see if: there's more than one person in them.

If someone's passed out. Epilepsy, allergic reactions , asthma attacks. Miscarriages/pregnancy haemorrhages.

Where do you go if you aren't feeling well.at work? The toilet that's where.

The accessible toilets have an alarm pull.

These self enclosed units don't.

You might be happy, but I bet they won't be, and they usually will end up using the disabled toilets which isn't an ideal solution.

A dedicated third mixed sex space in addition to single sex spaces is the best solution for everyone. Respects people's privacy.

Am I missing something here? What's wrong with a man knowing you're having a period? Do men not know this? Have we not made any progress these last 100 years? My only issue sharing toilets would be the heinous smells you occasionally encounter passing some male toilets....

You're missing that many women aren't comfortable with it. Hope that helps.

... and the piss on the seats.

and the floor.

Excellent news op, this is exactly how it should be, having options for male and female sexed people and those with an identity that doesnt match their sex

Yes it is very good news that they've listened to you @Whatafustercluck

What's wrong with a man knowing you're having a period?

Not a thing, unless that man in the cubicle beside me has a fetish about menstruation and is just waiting till I leave to have a rummage in the bin.

What's wrong with a man knowing you're having a period?

He may be the kind of man who will tell everyone you're on your period (so are irrational and hormonal) if you need to challenge him or anyone else over a work issue. I used to manage a man like that. If I had to pick anyone up on mistakes or omissions he'd comfort them that I was on my period and so they weren't to take any notice of what I'd said. This was before the days of shared loos and he had no idea if I was menstruating or not. If he's using unisex facilities in his current workplace he'll be thrilled at having inside knowledge.

It's not just sanitary pads that women are self-conscious about using. Lots of women suffer a degree of urinary incontinence after having babies or the menopause but would prefer to keep the fact to themselves.

Its infuriating that women have to constantly be the ones to kick up a fuss to stop their employer breaking the law, only to be called names for wanting privacy when dealing with bodily functions.

Stop acting like we're abnormal. We aren't. If you want mixed sex facilities ask for them in addition to single sex. FFS.

@Sickoffamilydrama

Why would I be anxious about the fact the mixed sex facilities put women & girls at higher risk of sexual assaults? I'm angry that people are so busy trying to be cool that they don't stop to think about these kind of things or even worse when women tell them they do as you are doing and dismiss their concerns. Clearly women just aren't important enough I mean who cares if a few of us get hurt 🤦‍♀️

There's loads of evidence that it takes 5 minutes to Google here's some www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

&

here www.hsj.co.uk/patient-safety/revealed-hundreds-of-sexual-assaults-each-year-on-mixed-gender-wards/7026629.article

Lots of different examples bought together here medium.com/@camradfems/there-is-nothing-progressive-about-removing-women-only-bathrooms-37729064cfb7

Unfortunately there are opportunistic predatory men out there who will use opportunities to hurt others. Mixed sex toilets or any other kind of facility where Women are in a state of undress or vulnerable give them the window of opportunity.

But. These. Toilets. Are. Not. Mixed.

They are single, individual rooms. What can't you understand? Have you ever seen a disabled toilet? It's the same set-up. Are you wilfully misunderstanding?

@Clymene

Ooh it's taken you many posts to actually say the transphobia word *@HandScreen*.

As ever, if you spot any transphobia, do report it to MN. They're pretty hot on deleting any posts that cross a line.

FWIW it's not transphobic for women to want single sex spaces and be angry when they're taken away from us.

These are single-sex spaces, there's only one bloody person in them at a time. Are you thick?

@Whatwouldscullydo

Self enclosed units pose theor own problems or do you not understand that?

The gaps under the doors enable you to see if: there's more than one person in them.

If someone's passed out. Epilepsy, allergic reactions , asthma attacks. Miscarriages/pregnancy haemorrhages.

Where do you go if you aren't feeling well.at work? The toilet that's where.

The accessible toilets have an alarm pull.

These self enclosed units don't.

You're really reaching for excuses now.

Are you able to acknowledge the issues I explained earlier that fully inclosed cubicles present?

@Clymene

Yes it is very good news that they've listened to you *@Whatafustercluck*

This would have been in the design plan from the get-go, as it is in almost all new builds. The OP had simply initially misunderstood, in her tush to moral panic.

@Whatwouldscullydo

Are you able to acknowledge the issues I explained earlier that fully inclosed cubicles present?

OMFG.

Are u suggesting that doesn't happen. I had a haemorrhage in a toilet myself.

Medical emergencies happen. What if you're alone in your toilet at home, with no alarm pull? You are being absolutely ridiculous.

People die at home alone often. It's extremely tragically certainly not really appropriate to try ajd use the unfortunate deaths if these people to imply that the additional risks that these set ups present dont exist.

Risk assessments are part of all building plans in the workplace. They have ti be acknowledged. And sadly in some instances are actually ignored in order to avoid "upsetting" people.

Drug use in toilets seem to also he a huge issue. That's another thing to consider when providing these fully enclosed spaces.

You seem awfully exercised about what other people think that affects you not in the slightest, Handscreen

@LakieLady

I've worked in a building with proper self-contained unisex toilets for 15 years.

We must have exceptionally hygienic men working there. I've never found piss on the seat or on the floor, skid marks down the pan or anything untoward. The women-only toilets where I worked in my last job, otoh, frequently left a lot to be desired when it came to cleanliness.

Me too. I don't think hygiene in men or lack of hygiene in women is that exceptional.