To not feel comfortable using work's unisex toilets

[Whatafustercluck]

My employer is moving offices into a different building. All the toilets are unisex. Most of the men seem fine with this (those who made the decision to move there are men) while the women I've spoken with don't feel comfortable about this for various reasons, from cleanliness to embarrassment about male colleagues knowing they're on their period or whatever. I'm really not happy with this, but feel like it's expected to just get on with it and it's considered somewhat old fashioned to think/ feel this way. Aibu?

I have this at my work and I HATE it for the following reasons:

It's a constant battle of lifting the toilet seats up and down between the sexes.

We had a phantom "dribbler" who kept pissing all over the floor and sometimes the seat. Was definitely a man.

I have HEAVY periods and felt paranoid about leaving any sign of a period in the toilets and felt conscious rustling any period products if someone was in the cubicle next door.

Walking into a cubicle after your male colleagues have done a shit or vice versa makes me super embarrassed. For some reason it's just not the same when it's another woman.

Feeling self-conscious going for a shit in case my male colleagues heard/smell it.

It’s not old fashioned for a woman to say no to having to share spaces with men

I wouldn't be thrilled at the idea. If it was self contained toilets I could probably deal with it, but a row of shared cubicles I'd really not like. I would dread my period or a dicky tummy. Also, in my experience men are dirty buggers that can't wipe down toilets and pee on the floor.

To clarify - my toilets were built from plasterboard and so weren't self-contained proper office style cubicle toilets.

At my work the toilets are unisex enclosed because of how small the workplace is, basically like a regular bathroom (they have showers too). Which I think is absolutely fine. But if it was cubicles with shared sinks etc... no way!

@Witchcraftandhokum

I wouldn't have an issue with this. Men know women have periods, do I'm not going to feel uncomfortable with them hearing a pad and I've washed my hands in front of plenty of men

What about washing out a mooncup?

As a perimenopausal woman, fuck off to that. I have this year flooded, needed to change, wash and needed to sort out bloody trousers. Sometimes its not just a nice neat popping a tampon in the bin. Fuck off out of women's space is what i'd say. It's toilets on the cheap and no menopause policy is what it is.

It depends - are they separate cubicles in a room with shared sinks, or just enclosed rooms that anyone can use?

I've worked in numerous small businesses that only had space for one toilet so it was automatically unisex, but it was an enclosed room with a sink, mirror and bin etc. all contained in one place, so it was fine.

Had a unisex loo right next to my office, a male colleague used to come and take a dump in it every morning, it stank. There were other loos near his office and near the staff room but no he couldn’t use those. Was awful when I had morning sickness, threw up in my bin rather than stick my head in that loo. GP signed me off work when I told him about it, it definitely exacerbated my morning sickness.

Do you mean unisex toilets as in a load of cubicles with sinks outside?
I would be OK with fully self contained rooms leading off the main corridor.
I would not be OK with former "ladies" or "gents" facilities being repurposed to unisex.

I worked in a place with unisex toilets and I hated it! Was pregnant at the time so no need to change sanitary products but would have hated it.

@pawpatrolneedaunion I don’t think washing out a moon cup is an acceptable thing to do in an all female toilet either!

[quote SweetPetrichor]@pawpatrolneedaunion I don’t think washing out a moon cup is an acceptable thing to do in an all female toilet either![/quote]
Why?

I think they should have unisex and female toilets options available if they are worried about being PC.
Same with changing rooms.

@SweetPetrichor a mooncup rinse is as nothing to a menopausal flood, trust me.

It's a womens loo. Blood happens.

Annex 1 of this might be helpful. I think some of what has to be provided depends on type/size of place of employment:

sex-matters.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Toilet-provision-for-men-and-women-Sex-Matters-260121.pdf

I don't think it would bother me. I'm always quite open about periods with anyone. This mostly means me complaint about cramps to whoever will listen.

@withgraceinmyheart

I voted YANBU based on your description, but it depends on the set up.

Are they cubicles with the sinks outside? Are the doors floor to ceiling?

If they’re self contained rooms with proper doors I’d be fine with it, otherwise no.

I agree with tthis totally..

I haven't ever known a unisex loo to stay clean for very long. That goes for the one in my house, too, which is bad enough. But at work - ewwww.

Yeah I feel like we need an update on the exact set up to judge properly.

@user1471453601

How would male colleagues know you were having a period?

And even if they did, for some odd reason, so what? You are all adults. If adult makes don't know that some women have periods, they are v v immature.

Do you share a loo with males at home? I personally don't (all female household), but when I did, it caused no problems. Males are quite capable of hygienic behaviour both in and out of the loo.

How is sharing the bathroom in your own home with family members in any sort of way the same thing as a public loo with strangers? Did you think you were making some sort of point there?

And whether men. Know or care about a woman's period is neither here nor there, it's actually not all about men's feelings. Sometimes women are allowed to have their concerns/feelings considered too!

I've worked at places with just "staff" toilets, which everyone used. I never gave it a second thought, didn't bother me at all.

Depends what type of unisex toilets they are in all honesty.

They have them in one of our offices (they used to be male/female) they’re all individual bathrooms with toilet and sink that lead off a secondary corridor. I’m ok with that, although I preferred it when they were male/female.

If I go into my home office and the normal toilets with cubicles have been made unisex I will kick up a stink. Not on.

It would completely depend on the set up for me. Our small office has 3 completely self contained rooms with proper doors, sinks and hand-driers inside. One is designated disabled/unisex, one female and one male. In practice any of us just use whichever is free (only actual difference being the male designated one hasn't got a sanitary bin). That's fine.

If it were cubicles with communal sinks I wouldn't be happy either.