Is anyone truly happy in a long term relationship?

[anon12345634552]

Just wondered what everyone's thoughts are on this. To those people who have been together 10-15 years for example, maybe a little less or a little longer. Do you still feel content with your partner, do you meet each other's needs? Or are you comfortable and settled and it's OK enough to not rock the boat, but doesn't tick every box for you anymore?

I guess I'm just genuinely wondering, past a certain point of living together and being together long term, no matter how things were in the beginning or how strong the relationship was or wasn't through the years.. is it inevitable that things change and you just accept it? Does anyone ever remain loved up on some level 'happily ever after'?

Very comfortable and 'settled' after 30 + years together, he is certainly not a dick like you read on so many threads here, hard working, easily does more than his 'fair share' of chores etc, a fully involved Dad ... but we are very different people to when we first met ... we have separate friends, interests, hobbies etc ... I think it will be challenging when we both retire ... but day to day we get on with no arguments or disagreements but I wouldn't say either of us is blissfully happy in our relationship.

Together 25 years. Our relationship has gone though ups and downs but it's still changing and some bits are better than they were years ago. The sex is still fantastic (when we have it).
We are generally happy. It's not perfect, but what is? We love each other, share interests in common, laugh together...

Together 15 years. Been through some truly horrendous times (disabilities, disabled child, toxic family going no contact (our choice), terminal illness etc) so I think that’s made us closer. We love each other. But at times we want to kill each other. I think that’s fairly normal.

I’ve been with DH for 18 years, married for 17.
Most of the time it’s good, sometimes fantastic and sometimes not great. A formula which is realistic and works for us.
I love him for his kindness, decency and sense of fun.
He’s never let me down but I’m also conscious that we haven’t yet had to navigate any massive challenges.

Together 25 years, married 22, deeply happy. He is working from home and we lunch together.

I think the way I look at it is that I put the same effort in now as I did in the first year. I listen when he talks, no phone in my hand, we send each other things we think might be interesting or funny. He does the same for me. I will still find love notes he leaves stuck in the fridge. I will de-ice and demist his car if he is running a bit late, he will do the same for me. It isn't a huge effort. There is no blame if one of us breaks something, there is never shouting to get your point across etc.

We have two teenage sons who have also never slammed doors, are lovely to be around, fun conversationalists and I believe it is because Dh and I treat each other with kindness, mildly piss taking each other but done with absolute love.

16 years and yes im happy. Happier than ever in many ways. Our relationship has changed over time, and we have had ups and downs, but we are in a lovely loved up patch at the moment.

Yes I'm very happy with my husband been together nearly twenty years. We had a stinker of a row last week and for a day or two I'd have happily left him but that happens a couple of times a year and means we air everything out when we 'make up'
We are very different characters-he is very outgoing and confident and loves pubs, football etc whereas I'm probably happiest in a national trust garden reading a book but our differences keep things interesting
I still really fancy him and he is my favourite person to be with
I do find other blokes attractive though would never on a million years do anything
We try and have the occasional weekend away without the kids which is important

Disclaimer when the kids were very young and I was at home full time things were very hard work marriage wise but once all school age and I went back to work in things got so much better and I think it made is stronger going through those tough times

Married nearly 30 years. Been through some tough times but we're more solid & happier than ever

Yes! Been with my husband for 27 years. I am 47 now and he is 55 and we get on brilliantly, do lots of things together like the gym and days out, evening pub trips, laughs and cuddles every day, text each other during the working day. He is still just as handsome just more silver fox and seasoned!

P.S forgot to add we’ve had lots of things to get through over the years health & finance issues etc but this has made us even stronger and more tolerant and in touch with each other.

Yes. 25 years, no children. Still eat dinner at the table with candles and good chats every night. Love him the same if not more.

Married 26, together 28 and I'd say our relationship is stronger than ever. We are each others rock and if one of us is having a bad day the other will just naturally step up and take over the things that need doing, from making tea to getting the car washed to ensuring that the kids are doing what they are supposed to be doing.

Are things different - yes of course they are but different better, not different bad

Together 15 years. Married 12.
4 kids.

There are times he's mainly been a friend, a lover, a co-parent.
But I've loved the bones off him every step of the way.

After every child there's been a period of friendly co-parenting, when I'm too touched out and we're both too exhausted to feel romantic. I know some women and men who'd have thrown the towel in at those points. But I still loved him, still cared. We've always come back together.

Right now with a full night's sleep every night and no home schooling life is feeling romantic again. But if there ever was a reason if didn't, I know we'd cope.

been together 23 years.
3 teenagers.

I still love him to bits and I am happy. Couldn't imagine life on my own.

I think when it is good, the passing years cement it further and the bank of happy shared memories builds up the relationship.

Of course we have had our moments. I think most people do, but never enough to want to wlak away.

After all the LTB threads here, this provides some contrast.

Yep, 30+ years, I still feel happy when I see him!

Bump as I like this thread

30 years together with an adult son

@anon12345634552

Me and DH have been together for nearly 40 years, and married for nearly 35. Very happy and couldn't imagine life without him. He is a PITA occasionally and gets on my nerves! But I am a PITA too and get on his nerves occasionally. He gets on mine when he won't stop talking and follows me around when I am busy doing stuff, and I get on his because I am a bit messy and untidy!

We have had rocky patches and wonderful times. Travelled a lot (30 countries or so,) raised 2 bloody perfect daughters, lived in 7 different homes, had 7 jobs and 5 redundancies between us, gone from being solvent to piss-poor, and then back again, and lost all 4 parents (both quite young we were too.)

We went through a fruitful youth where we spent like money was going out of fashion, travelled extensively to 3 different continents, spent our late 30s and 40s brassick, and are fairly comfortable again in our 50s, helped by the fact we have lived in a very cheap social housing property out in the sticks for the past 10 years.

When DH was away on courses at work (when the kids were at home and I worked 3 days a week,) it was great to have a few DH-free days, and just me and the girls, and I had work colleagues to chat to, and it was lovely to have DH back!

But the girls have left now - a decade ago almost, and I have been working from home for 2 years (coz of covid,) and when DH went away for 3 days in October last year, I was REALLY lonely.

Our DD are 22-25 miles away, my extended family is even further away, I have no work colleagues as I WFH, and even though people are friendly in this village, everyone was very distant (physically) during the pandemic, (and still are to be honest.) So I felt very lonely. I had the cat, but she was asleep most of the time! 🐈

But yeah, tl;dr, I am truly happy and can't imagine life without him now. We have lots of good times and giggles and cuddles, (sorry, cheese alert!) it's great to have someone to chat to about our day, and someone to rant to when we're angry or down about something. And it's great to know he's always there to fight my corner (and I am there to fight his.) As I said, there have been rocky patches and tough times, but I have a lot of happy memories with him, and I love him very much...

10 years. All is harmony, together, and fun. So yes. Totally possible.

I'm still very happy.

Of course it's different now, but so am I and so is everything else, and I don't want anyone or anything else.

He's still the one.

No. Been together 30+ years now and I’ve had enough. I feel as lonely in the marriage as I would be if we weren’t together.
I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with him.

Together 20 years and I adore him still, he's my partner in crime and my best friend.

Of course!!