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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is anyone truly happy in a long term relationship?

232 replies

anon12345634552 · 18/01/2022 18:45

Just wondered what everyone's thoughts are on this. To those people who have been together 10-15 years for example, maybe a little less or a little longer. Do you still feel content with your partner, do you meet each other's needs? Or are you comfortable and settled and it's OK enough to not rock the boat, but doesn't tick every box for you anymore?

I guess I'm just genuinely wondering, past a certain point of living together and being together long term, no matter how things were in the beginning or how strong the relationship was or wasn't through the years.. is it inevitable that things change and you just accept it? Does anyone ever remain loved up on some level 'happily ever after'?

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 18/01/2022 19:25

Been together 23 years and married 18 years and very happy.

pinkiepiee · 18/01/2022 19:26

Yes, together 12 and married 10. Adore him more and more each year.

Chely · 18/01/2022 19:26

Not far off 18 years together, lovey dovey is long gone. Love (but don't tell him much or he'll get a big head) and tolerate a lot kinda deal. He sits staring at me, says it's because he loves me so much and I tell him to "fuck off, weirdo". Our baby also stares at me and I find that adorable 🤣🤣

Inextremis · 18/01/2022 19:27

Together 26 years, married 20 years this August. He's my best friend, I love him loads, and we're like a unit now. No kids (we didn't want any) just two elderly dogs. I wouldn't change anything, very happy, thanks :)

fallfallfall · 18/01/2022 19:27

42 years and he’s a very good life partner. He does some amazingly sweet kind things for me, and hopefully me for him.
Life without him would be very empty.

Teenylittlefella · 18/01/2022 19:29

Yep. Met in 1989. The little kid years in the 00s were both the most wonderful and the hardest on our relationship. Now the kids are older we are finding each other again. He tells me that I am his everything most days. We just have such a shared history. He's my best pal, my cheer team, my rock. We just go together.

Squirrelblanket · 18/01/2022 19:29

Seventeen years here and I still feel excited about him coming home from work.

@thepeopleversuswork Four years isn't long term, especially if you don't live together. 😂

ProudAlly · 18/01/2022 19:29

Been together 10 years, some things about him drive me nuts but I wouldn't be without him

SmellyOldOwls · 18/01/2022 19:29

12 years here. We go through periods of ups and downs. I can't say we're always madly and deliriously happy because there are definitely times when we aren't. But most of the time it's great.

saltandpepper234 · 18/01/2022 19:30

I love being in a LTR. I honestly cannot imagine having to go through the whole rigmarole of getting to know someone again. I love having someone on my team all the time🥰

SpikeySmooth · 18/01/2022 19:31

22 years. No. He irritates the hell out of me.

MomentToThink · 18/01/2022 19:32

Been together for 10 years, heart breakingly lonely.

flippertyop · 18/01/2022 19:32

30 years. Mine also irritates me

Whoopsies · 18/01/2022 19:33

Me and my DH have been together 14 years. I love him more now than I ever have. We have both grown and changed but we've done it together and we fit together so well. I genuinely still get excited when he gets home from work every evening!

trevthecat · 18/01/2022 19:34

Together nearly 8 years, married 8m. I am happier now within the relationship than I've ever been! We have found a really good routine that works for us. He works away Sunday eve - Friday eve, I look after the kids, home, work part time and have uni. I like being busy! Before he took this job we couldn't afford for me to drop 2 days of work but keep the youngest in childcare. With him away we make more time for each other, the time we have is better quality.

userxx · 18/01/2022 19:34

@MomentToThink

Been together for 10 years, heart breakingly lonely.

That's made me really sad.

MadMadMadamMim · 18/01/2022 19:36

Blissfully happy. I've been with him more than 20 years and I love him more than ever. He's my absolute rock and I cannot bear to think of not having him by my side. He's got the kindest heart of anyone I know and he makes my life better every single day.

I still fancy the pants off him and despite my age, weight and grey hair he still finds me beautiful.

blogbunny · 18/01/2022 19:36

Married 25 years. My husband is honestly the best, kindest, funniest most loving and caring man I know. I had a few shitty relationships before i met him and I’m thankful beyond words to have him in my life. We feel very lucky to have each other. He’s the person I’d rather spend time with, than anyone else.

userxx · 18/01/2022 19:36

@thepeopleversuswork Perfect for me.

BlueFlavour · 18/01/2022 19:37

We are ok. Married for 15 years. Ups and downs.
He’s not my best mate though Grin

wingingit987 · 18/01/2022 19:37

We've been together 9 years and we have our ups and downs but I love him. And I am genuinely happy xx

PermanentTemporary · 18/01/2022 19:37

I had 14 years with my dh and we did love each other but it was hard to say that we were happy by the end, he was too ill. We did still have happy times and appreciated each other, were affectionate. But it felt like hard going and it was difficult to see it getting easier.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/01/2022 19:38

Fancy the pants off him, love and admire him, feel incredibly lucky to be with him every single day.

Elaine2468 · 18/01/2022 19:39

Yes. Together 17years.
Some people settle but that doesn't mean everyone in a long term relationship has had to.

Inmypjsagain · 18/01/2022 19:40

Been together nearly 15 years and it’s great, can’t imagine being with anyone else! It’s not as exciting as it was the beginning I suppose, because we don’t have the newness…. But it’s still great.
.
My parents and in laws have been married for 43 and 41 years respectively and both look to have great marriages. So I think long term happiness is possible