Is anyone truly happy in a long term relationship?

[anon12345634552]

Just wondered what everyone's thoughts are on this. To those people who have been together 10-15 years for example, maybe a little less or a little longer. Do you still feel content with your partner, do you meet each other's needs? Or are you comfortable and settled and it's OK enough to not rock the boat, but doesn't tick every box for you anymore?

I guess I'm just genuinely wondering, past a certain point of living together and being together long term, no matter how things were in the beginning or how strong the relationship was or wasn't through the years.. is it inevitable that things change and you just accept it? Does anyone ever remain loved up on some level 'happily ever after'?

Not quite as long as some, we've been together 8 years.
We bicker like cats and dogs, he irritates the shit out of me at times as I'm sure I do him. We've had many ups and downs, and yet we are genuinely very happy together. Even when I dislike him, I love him. He's a truly great person.

Been together 18 years and I'm crazy about him. Can honestly say I love him even more as each year passes. Can't ever see that stopping.

Been together 37 years this year, married for 36. He still makes my world go around.

13 years.
He drives me mad sometimes but I love him deeply. Makes me laugh every day and we have a great time. It’s not perfect but I can’t imagine being with anyone else. We have changed since we met but have changed together.

14 years in. I love him, I'm comfortable with him and don't want to lead a life without him in it. He truly is a selfless, genuinely kind man.

That said, I am bored, often lonely and my relationship can be hard work. DH has adhd and whilst he's happy to plod along, I know I need more.

I met my DH when I was 14 and knew he was the one. We married when I was 21 and were together and in love until 2011 when he died. I miss him every day.

Been together 18 years. I still love and fancy my dh but there is definitely stuff lacking in our relationship. We don't spend enough time together as a couple, don't make enough time to intimate etc... BUT we have two young children (one still a baby) and we've been in phases like this before and I have faith that we'll get back on track, like we have done previously. We both know things could be better and that we need to make more effort and that's a good thing I think. I think phases like we're in, can become a problem when one or both don't see that things have slipped or aren't motivated to get back on track. There's a love song that talks about sticking it out through the good years, the bad years and the in between years and I were definitely in the 'in-between' years but I am confident that we'll pull our socks up and get back to having proper good years (couple wise) as our children get a bit older and we have more time and energy to invest in ourselves.

PS we were married for almost 40 years

We’ve been together twenty seven years. Wish I had more time with him but he has the type of heroic job which is highly demanding but also means there can be no whinging about from me. That’s annoying in itself!

Life is far easier with him around, we still have a really good laugh together and agree on everything which is really lucky. So many friends have had really fractious times particularly with parenting where they haven’t shared the same values. So whilst we’re no longer in the honeymoon period (which would be a bit much after 27 years to be fair) I do really appreciate what we’ve got. Not sure I’d find anyone else as compatible.

Very happy. Been together 10 years, we got together young so I feel like we have grown up together. Lived together 5 years and married for 2. Just had a baby 4 months ago.

Communication is key. We've always spoken about what it would be like when we get a house together, what having a baby will look like for us: parenting, expectations, financially etc. so nothing came as a shock when we did all of these things together. Both from very close families which meant a lot to both of us.

We argue every now and then sometimes big ones but we both know that neither of us are going anywhere.

18 years together, 8 married and honestly life is almost perfect. We're not rich, we don't own a house and we can't afford foreign holidays but we have our health, or kids, food in our cupboards and everything else we need. Snuggling up every night with DH is the absolute highlight of every day. Yeah a bit more nookie wouldn't go amiss but he's never had a raging libido so.... meh. No biggie.

Over 16 years.

I love him more, through life’s ups and downs his been there, solid as a rock, it brings such stability and security.

We’ve had a rough patch though where I was close to leaving, but he turned it around. After a while people stop putting in effort and I think effort is needed in a long term relationship.

Whenever there is a thread like this I wonder whether the people who say they are still loved up/ things haven't changed that much are just lucky they met 'the one', or whether these people are approaching their relationships differently (perhaps with lower expectations, not in a bad way) or better able to count their blessings.

Perfectly happy after 15 yrs and 2 kids

Together 14 years, married 7. Of course things have changed (I was a student when we got together, am a grown woman with a career and a mortgage and a child and significantly more trauma and joy under my belt now), but we’re still in love, the sex is still great (after a hiatus thanks to some drastic birth injuries), and I’d still choose him like a shot.

Yes, I am very happy with my lovely husband. He is kind and calm and loyal and a brilliant father. He also makes me laugh and we have really interesting conversations. We've been together over twenty years and he's still the person I'd rather spend time with than anyone else. He's rubbish at D.I.Y. but he realises that so we save up to pay more skilled people to get that done.

Still love and fancy my DH after 11 years.

There have been trying times over the years from external factors but we’ve ridden the storm together and I think are stronger for it.

With OH for 26+ years. He's amazing and I love him! He seems to quite like me too!

No . 26years in and I can't fucking stand the bastard!

15 years (Since I was 17) and two kids later and he’s still my best friend and the love of my life. We have our problems same as everyone else but we’re still happy to put the work in every day to ensure a happy and fulfilling relationship.

@LiveFromNewYork

Whenever there is a thread like this I wonder whether the people who say they are still loved up/ things haven't changed that much are just lucky they met 'the one', or whether these people are approaching their relationships differently (perhaps with lower expectations, not in a bad way) or better able to count their blessings.

I think there’s something in this.

DH and I have an equitable relationship, are both ‘talkers’ so don’t argue even if we disagree.

I can’t imagine a better match but neither of us are ‘high maintenance’, and we are very even tempered.

Together 8 years, married 4. We currently have a 3mo and 3yo so our relationship is a bit strained but I am confident it will come back. The first year of dc1's life was very difficult too.

I love being with him and hope to grow old together.

@LiveFromNewYork

Whenever there is a thread like this I wonder whether the people who say they are still loved up/ things haven't changed that much are just lucky they met 'the one', or whether these people are approaching their relationships differently (perhaps with lower expectations, not in a bad way) or better able to count their blessings.

I don't know the answer to your question but I do feel very blessed to have met my soulmate although the pain of losing him will be with me until I die

Together nearly 25 years and still love him to bits!

@MomentToThink

Been together for 10 years, heart breakingly lonely.

I'm very sorry. Being lonely with someone is even worse than being lonely alone.