Would you stay in bed?

[Starynight282]

If you started work at 12 noon and DH started work at 9am. One DS age 13 who DH gives a lift to school. Everything prepped the night before DS obviously gets himself washed, dressed and DH will make him eggs or porridge. Would you get up to see them both off or stay in bed until you needed to get up yourself? This happens 3 times a week.

YABU-get up with them
YANBU-enjoy the lie in, they can sort themselves out.

I voted yanbu but especially if you have to work later in the pm than the others do. It’s important to make sure you have sufficient sleep!

Occasionally I get up to send them off then go back to bed!!

I see no issue with staying in bed but I think I would at least get up 5 mins before they leave to say goodbye. It's not like you've done the night shift for example and gotten in at 6am, that would be different, and I'm fairly certain anyone would fully expect you to be fast asleep at 8am.

But yeah, I think I would at least get out of the bed to see them off, then get back into bed. That's just me though. I don't really think there's any right or wrong answer to this tbh.

My ds now 18 once told me he liked it more when I saw him off and was home after school.. It stuck with me for younger siblings.. Self employed so easier to keep to it..

Stay in bed ffs. It's not like the other parent isn't 'seeing them off'.

My mother never got up when I was a teenager, I used to hate it. There was no reason, she just liked a lie in.

I used to call for a friend and her mum was always there at the door to give us a cheery goodbye.

Why not get up make a cup of tea and take it back to bed with you when you’ve waved them off

I don't think you have to get up but I do.

I start at 2pm some shifts, 11:30am some shifts and 6am some shifts.

My youngest is 10 and I always wake the kids for school at 6am (they have to catch a bus at 6:30am) and drink a coffee with them while the younger two have breakfast.

DH chooses to start working from home at 6:15am and is happy to wake them but doesn't sit with them or see them out the door. They don't need it as they're really good kids and pretty self directed and independent, and the 10 year old isn't alone - he catches the same bus as our 14 year old, and our 16 year old leaves at the same time though not on the bus, but I think its my only sentimental indulgence that I'd hate to stay in bed while they leave without anyone seeing them off to school

What time do you finish work? And what time do you go to bed?

YANBU but it depends if you do (eg) a 10 hour shift from 12 noon, or a 4 hour shift. Do you see DS in the evenings when you return from work?

My dd didn't sleep well so I didn't get up. My ds would come into the bedroom and say good bye. It wasn't a problem. It's not the end of the world, and he's not traumatised by it. He was sympathetic.

Depends if you're sleep is affected otherwise e.g. do you work from 12 to 10, get into bed very late? Otherwise I would still get up as normal, wouldn't stay in bed just because I was working at 12.

Depends on length of shift / time of finishing imo! If it's a long shift (eg get home at 1am) then obviously a lie in is useful. If it's only a short shift then I wouldn't be able to do it, I'd be up and about getting things done (but that's my own personal brand of anxiety 😂)

@BettyfromBristol

My mother never got up when I was a teenager, I used to hate it. There was no reason, she just liked a lie in.

I used to call for a friend and her mum was always there at the door to give us a cheery goodbye.

His dad gets up with him though?

Anyway OP, enjoy the lie in

I do this - the older ones see themselves off to school and I get up later to take the youngest.

It makes them much better at organising themselves. Often I'm actually awake in bed but I just don't get up til they're gone as it confuses the routine. I'm really proud of how self sufficient they are in the mornings. I used to get up to send my older one off to high shook and it caused so much stress - arguments every morning, dragging feet to try and get a lift, relying on me to find kit/school books etc. It's so much better this way.

I'd be getting up unless there was a good reason for me to stay in bed (as in late shift finish etc)

My eldest (14) doesn't need me to wake her in the morning and be around for her getting ready, but I do it because I know she likes me being involved - irrespective of whether her dad is also up or not.

This window of being needed as a mother in this way is shrinking all the time and I want to be able to look back and know that when possible I was present for them both.

I'd get up.
I'm a light sleeper though so the second anyone is awake in our house I'm awake too.
I'd get a cup off tea, wave dc off, then go back to bed and maybe try and doze.

If I could sleep through the noise of people moving around etc I still think I'd still set an alarm and get up. Not seeing them before they left wouldn't feel right to me.

I always get up, I work 3 days a week - 2 DS's, youngest 13.

The only time it annoys me is if I haven't been well and DH doesn't think to let me sleep, it's almost as if he thinks he's up why shouldn't I be?!

Mine don't argue or expect lifts because I'm up - I've only ever driven them on the two occasions the bus didn't turn up - we only have one bus in each direction per day and live 15km from the nearest secondary school (where we live the school can't legally expect children living more than 3 miles away to turn up at all on the rare occasions the buses don't run, so they'd possibly have preferred I hadn't been home!).

It depends on the kids. When I have an early or night shift I can't be there as I'm gone before they get up/ still at work - DH wakes them then goes into his home office. So they can get off to school without a parent. In all honesty I'd rather DH stayed with them til they leave but its just sentimental I know - still if I'm home I always get up with them regardless of my shift that day.

Its a choice though.

Stay in bed. My mum wasn't a morning person and I used to wish every morning, she'd stay in bed. 😄

Some 13 year olds have no one to see them off to school in the morning, whereas yours is lucky enough to have his breakfast made for him and get a lift into school by a parent, so I would stay in bed guilt free if I were you.

it depends really. Id probably be pissed off if they took every single morning as a lie in, but would likely depend on how late I finished too. Is dh doing afternoons and evenings too?
I think id likely mostly get up, but with an occasional lie in if i needed it

@BettyfromBristol I was the complete opposite.

My Late DM and DDad worked like slaves from the age of 14 and still we didn't have much in the way of material "stuff" yet we had an abundance of love, care and attention despite how hard they worked.

When I was growing up DM did 2 jobs starting later in the day and my Dad would have already gone to work, so my Sister's and I sorted our selves out from a very early age, even coming home from school at lunchtime to cook our own and Dad's dinner. He would have done it for us as he was something of an anomaly for his generation and more than shared the load with DM, however we got in earlier and he didn't have much time to eat it, so we did it willingly.

So if DM had a lie in we sometimes saw it as an opportunity to invent a mystery stomach bug, usually on PE or swimming day, then when she got up and asked us why we were'nt at school, she never flipped out.

We didn't take the piss though and only did it occasionally!

I look back on my childhood as an idyllic time and only wish I could tell them one more time just how grateful I am to them for how bloody hard they worked and the sacrifices they made.

When I read some of the threads on here about how women still allow their selves to be subjugated by men and putting up with all sorts of shit, and how some parents do every little thing for their DC even into adulthood I am even more grateful for being raised by such a strong woman and a Man that knew her true worth.

Very different back then I know.

Sorry to hijack the post OP! YANBU enjoy your lie-in :)

I guess it depends on what time you finish your shift and what time you go to bed.
If you're working 12-hour shifts and don't get home until well after midnight, then essentially you're in a different time zone from the rest of the family. In those circumstances you would probably need to be sleeping between 2.30am and 10.00 am ish.

Sometimes if I'm awake I get up but often I just sleep through. Two teenagers who get themselves ready and off to school. I also spent years getting up early when they were at primary school.
On days when I work I get up at 2am (nobody bothers to see me off😂) so I feel entitled to stay in bed if I like, or at least until my 18 month old decides I need to get up.