Would you stay in bed?

[Starynight282]

If you started work at 12 noon and DH started work at 9am. One DS age 13 who DH gives a lift to school. Everything prepped the night before DS obviously gets himself washed, dressed and DH will make him eggs or porridge. Would you get up to see them both off or stay in bed until you needed to get up yourself? This happens 3 times a week.

YABU-get up with them
YANBU-enjoy the lie in, they can sort themselves out.

I’d get up, unless I’d been on a late or night shift and was still asleep. Even just to say goodbye, make a brew and go back to bed and watch Netflix!

It depends what time you finish work for me and what time you’re getting home. I wouldn’t want to effectively not see my child for 3 days a week if they were winding down for bed by the time I got home/had dinner etc.

YANBU. You've been working. He's not a baby, you're there 4 mornings of the week. Dh needs to back off.

Mine are 17 and 13 and I like to wave them off each day.
I do it because I want to though, not because I feel obligated so if you don’t want to OP it’s fine

Depends what time you go to bed. I personally don’t like being in bed al morning and when my children were in school I used to like to see them in the mornings, just to see how they were and wish them a good day.

I don't work on mondays but always set my alarm for 7am to wake the kids up (14 and 15), make their lunch and make sure they get ready and leave on time for school.

If I didn't they would keep disturbing me anyway for various things and I wouldn''t be able to rest. I'm not one to lie in anyway - never have been.

Also, I am a single mum so no-one else to do it but I think I would still get up to at least say goodbye.

@Zombiemum1946

YANBU. You've been working. He's not a baby, you're there 4 mornings of the week. Dh needs to back off.

Not to speak for the OP but she never said her DH was saying she needed to get up (unless I've missed something?)

@Teacupsandtoast

What time do you finish work? And what time do you go to bed?

This is key to it.

If you start at 12pm and finish at 4pm YABU.

If you start at 12pm and finish at 12am you're definitely not BU.

Does your son want you there in the morning? Not being horrible, it's just I preferred not having people underfoot even as a teenager.

If you start work at 12, do you get chance to interact in the evening instead? Also who does the running around (clubs, lifts etc) as you're not available in the morning or evening? Do you do the bulk the rest of the week? If so, fine. If not, it seems pretty unbalanced.

I stay in bed, I'm awake and we say good morning, but I stay out of my 13 & 17 yr olds ways as they're very good at organising and heading out and say I mess up their routine when I'm up!

Assume this is a reverse?

I’d get up because I enjoy family time and routine. I remember my parents being in bed when I left for school and I hated it so I want to get up

Personally, I’d get up because I’d want to say goodbye but your child has his father with him, so you’re not leaving him to fend for himself.

yes I think it depends on what time you get to bed...but also what do the kids think? Have you asked them?

Depends what time you are going to bed.

My ex used to do this and it used to piss me off no end

Why are you asking the question OP?

Surely, some days you will want to get up, others you may not. There is no imperative and you can do as you choose, whenever you choose. Unless you have been receiving comments from other family members and you are gauging reaction on here?

I was always up with my kids whether I was due at work earlier or later. Even now, being early retired, by choice I am up at the same time as DH who is wfh.

I don't like staying in bed personally. But you should have the option for a lie in if you wish.

Personally I would get up, but as others have said “it depends when you finish work”, if your working really late and going to bed late then you need to catch up on sleep but if your working 12-5pm then I would be getting up early, doing some exercise and seeing ds and dh off.

I’m not one for staying in bed, I’m up at 6am every day despite not having to get up for work.

I like to see everyone off, even if I'm not going out. The way I look at is, you never know if it's the last time you might see someone. Always, always make an effort to show you care.
My mindset is somewhat guided by a horrible incident that happened in my town as a child. 8 year old friend went to the corner shop for sweets but never got there, died in a hit and run.

You never know what is around the corner

What time do you finish work?

Late? stay in bed,
5? get up

@caulkheaded

Assume this is a reverse?

I’d get up because I enjoy family time and routine. I remember my parents being in bed when I left for school and I hated it so I want to get up

Why do you assume it's a reverse?

I would always get out of bed roughly 8 hours after my bedtime. Fewer or more hours in bed would both be bad for me. For similar reasons of maintaining mental health/a good sleep pattern, I would also try to have the same bed-time every day.

My Mum was a stay at home mum and was often still in bed when I left for school, even in primary school. Dad did mornings!!

I wouldn't be able to stay in bed and not see them of especially DS. I'm an early riser anyway so wouldn't bother me. Might jump back into bed though with my book when they have left.

How annoying. Another OP who plops a thread on with insufficient information and then bogs off.

@Starynight282 Your question is impossible to answer/pick YABU or YANBU, as you have not said how many hours you do. Do you work midday til 3pm, or midday til 10pm? Context is everything! How many hours a day do you work, and how many days a week?