To not want to stop and chat?

[PicklesAndPumpkins]

DH and I live in a small village and have a dog who we walk twice a day. As happens in a small village you tend to see the same faces out and about at the same times. We’re friendly with a lot of the villagers as everyone’s lovely.

However, we often see this one man who purposefully blocks the path by bending down in the middle of it to pet our dog, forcing us to stop walking and start a conversation. He gives me the ick and I feel uncomfortable talking to him. Especially if I’m on my own. He doesn’t have a dog, but walks the same route every day summer and winter, rain or shine.

Sometimes I pretend to be on the phone just to avoid having to even saying hi! The other day he shouted at me from over 100 yards and when I ignored him he literally ran to catch up with me!

I don’t want to make things awkward by telling him that I don’t want to stop and chat every day, but he’s making me uncomfortable and sometimes dread what would otherwise be a lovely walk!

Without driving a few miles there’s nowhere else to go! Am also limited by lunch breaks as to when we can walk the dog so moving the timings wouldn’t be ideal. AIBU to not want to stop and chat every day?!

YANBU, you’re going to need to be assertive.

Just be breezy and say ‘hello and goodbye, no time to chat, have a good day’ and walk on.

Just say hi and move on.

This Is Us

oops sorry, wrong thread

Hiya
Drag dog
Keep moving

DO NOT STOP!. And
do NOT apologise for it

Keep it light hearted as you stroll quickly on.

Of course yanbu. Get your phone out and talk into it in a very serious oh no that is terrible kind of way. Ignore him and carry on walking saying something like "Terminal, you say I can't believe it."
Don't stop pull your dog away and keep walking. Also can you go the other way round/direction for your walk?

When he goes to stroke your dog pull your dog away quickly and say loudly oh no don't stroke him he has
A skin infection
Just has flea treatment
Has got fleas
Etc and keep moving , Hopfuly after a few days creepy man will guve up trying

Tell him "I want to pass".

If he doesn't allow you to pass, ask him calmly"why won't you allow me to pass?".

When you get away, report him to the police.

This is not normal behaviour.
It is threatening.

He needs reporting.
You need to tell the police, his behaviour is threatening, by not allowing you to pass, by blocking your way.

He is preventing you enjoying your walk.
Get a photo of him if possible, or have record the interaction if you can.

Women should not accept this bullshit.

Can't you take your lunch break an hour earlier or an hour later to avoid seeing him altogether? Or is he there for three hours a day over lunch?!

@billy1966 - easy. Stopping to pet a dog is not threatening behaviour. He does it when the OP is with her DH. What on earth do you suggest OP reports him to the police for? Talking? Dog stroking?

Headphones in, dog on short lead, ignore ignore ignore.

Completely OTT billy1966

@billy1966 - are you for real?? Thank goodness I don't live in your neighbourhood, where stopping to pet a dog and wanting to talk to someone is a crime. It never ceases to amaze me what unpleasant, nasty people there are in MN land.

Did you read my post?
Did you NOT understand it?

He stops and blocks the path.

IF she asks to pass and he doesn't allow her to, and continues to block her path, THAT is threatening behaviour.

So it is perfectly reasonable to report someone whom you have ASKED to let you pass and they have NOT allowed you to do so?

I thought my post was very clear.

She does NOT have to tolerate his company being forced on her.🤷‍♀️

@billy1966

Did you read my post? Did you NOT understand it?

He stops and blocks the path.

IF she asks to pass and he doesn't allow her to, and continues to block her path, THAT is threatening behaviour.

So it is perfectly reasonable to report someone whom you have ASKED to let you pass and they have NOT allowed you to do so?

I thought my post was very clear.

She does NOT have to tolerate his company being forced on her.🤷‍♀️

Fuck me🙄

Just keep moving and say your cant stop to talk, you only have a few minutes to get the dog walked as you need to get back. Byyyyyyeeee.

"However, we often see this one man who purposefully blocks the path by bending down in the middle of it to pet our dog, forcing us to stop walking and start a conversation. He gives me the ick and I feel uncomfortable talking to him. Especially if I’m on my own."

OP, you don't have to accept the above.

Don't be put off by those with literacy and comprehension issues, who think that women have to accept any and all attention from men.🙄

I don't have any literacy or comprehension issues. She isn't being threatened, and your posts are ridiculous.

He's possibly incredibly lonely.

That doesn't mean you have to stop to chat.

But a friendly 'can't stop, got to keep the dog moving' and then walk around him is my best advice.

If he tries to strike up conversation, you can just say 'sorry, in a rush today'
And repeat everyday until he gets the idea.

Just keep walking. Brief smile and hello if you must, otherwise straight past him and do not engage. It'll get easier. Nobody can force you to stop and converse.

@billy1966

Tell him "I want to pass".

If he doesn't allow you to pass, ask him calmly"why won't you allow me to pass?".

When you get away, report him to the police.

This is not normal behaviour.
It is threatening.

He needs reporting.
You need to tell the police, his behaviour is threatening, by not allowing you to pass, by blocking your way.

He is preventing you enjoying your walk.
Get a photo of him if possible, or have record the interaction if you can.

Women should not accept this bullshit.

Chill out.

You just have to resolve to be rude - or what would ordinarily be rude if he wasn’t such a demanding oaf. Embrace it. Ignore him, say excuse me please, walk around him, brightly say “in a rush!” - and yes you will have to talk over him.

And hope that he gets the huff and from then on always scowls and ignores you and crosses the road when he realises how very very rude you are..!

"Oh I wouldn't touch him, he's rolled in badger shit / a maggoty rotten crow carcass / radioactive waste, got to get him home to the decontamination zone before he's declared a threat to public health..."

It works for me, anyway, though with mine, it's often true

@billy1966

"However, we often see this one man who purposefully blocks the path by bending down in the middle of it to pet our dog, forcing us to stop walking and start a conversation. He gives me the ick and I feel uncomfortable talking to him. Especially if I’m on my own."

OP, you don't have to accept the above.

Don't be put off by those with literacy and comprehension issues, who think that women have to accept any and all attention from men.🙄

What a treat you are 😳

OP- I know you said there is no where else to walk, but can't you walk on the other side of the road? Go around the route the other way around? Backstreets? Public rights of way? In saying that, you shouldn't need to alter your walking to avoid this man. You don't need to put up with this, but I agree, possibly a lonely man? I'd go around him and pass and say ' got to get back to work' or something similar as mentioned above.

I have a 4mth old pup. We have a 'friendly' man, but he is at least walking his own dog along our street- but he will stop and chat for 15mins or more given half a chance! We let out dogs meet recently, but his dog tried to mount my puppy- several times! He says 'Oh, he's being friendly'!!! . I have not let the dogs meet since and I curb the chit chat. Hi Bill, morning, got to go, bye' end of now.