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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

352 replies

LondonGrimmer · 17/01/2022 16:38

Happy to be told otherwise. Child is in year 3. Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps. Transpires his full water bottle was still in his backpack so hadn't drank all day again (8.45 - 3.15) and he doesn't have a drink at lunch time either. He's an introvert who struggles with anxiety at times if that makes any difference.

Yes I have tried to explain to him the importance of staying hydrated and tell him he should try really hard to remember. I emailed the teacher last year and she said she'll try and remember to remind him (there are 23 kids in the class and one TA so I know they have their hands full).

Just frustrated and not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

YABU - your child is 7 or 8 and fully responsible for taking his water bottle out each day and remembering to drink.

YANBU - the teacher/TA should be helping more.

OP posts:
VioletLemon · 17/01/2022 18:41

I don't think you have any understanding of how a Primary classroom operates!

It definately is NOT the teachers job to count water bottles etc. That's YOUR responsibility, label it.

Anyway in my country there are strictly no items from home allowed in the room since Covid regs. Kids collect bottles at breaks, or when going for sensory breaks outside and put it back in bag. They can go to their bag through the day within reason.

Is there any other reason your child needs to drink alot of water? Do they eat processed snacks. Has your child actually told you that they suffer from thirst during the day or are you just monitoring the level in the bottle.

I'd concentrate more on encouraging your child to cope with the stress around going to toilet and managing school routines.

Try a social story keyring, all visual and designed to Reinforce what will happen before, during, after various everyday events. Can really lower anxiety in ASD children and children with Anxiety issues.

Lulu1919 · 17/01/2022 18:42

In my class I have a few posters up about having a drink at playtime etc etc
Year four

Ionlydomassiveones · 17/01/2022 18:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Gilly12345 · 17/01/2022 18:43

Can’t he be encouraged by you to have a water sports bottle on his table in class?

I think the Teacher has enough to do with teaching the class.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 17/01/2022 18:45

Another primary school teacher who would be happy to remind children to drink/keep an eye on it. In fact, I often tell all the children to have a drink as I know they forget. The school also needs to know if the cups are dirty, I’m surprised about that, but these things happen.

I let the children in my class have their bottles on their table, I’m not bothered if children need to go to the toilet during a lesson either (as long as they aren’t repeat offenders in the dilly dally department). Can’t bear toilets being policed and a lot of children don’t like to go at break time, the stalls are busy and some children are intimidated, much better to nip when it’s quiet.

ldontWanna · 17/01/2022 18:46

@LondonGrimmer has your DC confirmed that he isn't reminded ever?

One thing to consider is that they can remind him and encourage him, either as a general class announcement or directly to him, but they can't force him.

Abraxan · 17/01/2022 18:48

Prompts at playtime/lunch for KS1 are the norm here, but we don't go and tell everyone to have drinks all the time, or check who has a drink and how much.

We don't count and check everyone has a water bottle with them. Children are expected to bring it in to the room and put it into a tray near the sink. If a child says they've left theirs at home we have some disposable cups available for them to use. They know this and know where to find them.

Children can get a drink at other times - just not when it is 'listening to the teacher teaching at the board' time (normally only 5-20 minutes at a time, depending on subject/year group) as its disruptive, but when working in their books after that session they can go to the sink, have a quick drink and sit down again.

If a child has a UTI or similar and needs to drink more, we will try to remind them much more frequently if parents let us know. We had one child who had them regularly in the past and had an hourly timer set on the laptop so that child knew to go and get a drink each time it flashed.

I wouldn't expect to have to keep reminding a child at 7 or 8, unless they had a specific need.

rwalker · 17/01/2022 18:48

How did we ever survive at school without been able to have a drink except at dinner

Abraxan · 17/01/2022 18:52

If you know he is likely to struggle to remember in school, can you remind him to take his water bottle out in the playground before you say goodbye and he heads into the room?

Also, it might be worth ensuring he has a big drink of water with breakfast, and maybe also a big drink when he removes his water bottle before coming into school. So he starts the day refreshed and hydrated.

If he has packed lunch, you could write a note in his packed lunch bag to remindd him to have a drink with his food.

Or you could write a note/picture on the palm of his hand to remind him - we've definitely had children with that before!

Ozanj · 17/01/2022 18:52

My DN is 10 and her teacher still makes sure every child has access to a water bottle. It depends on the teacher I think - some are on top of things and so can focus on non-academic matters. While others aren’t. If despite repeated requests the teacher isn’t helping them I would go to the Head - it is not reasonable for the teacher to just focus on academic matters. If she’s missing that a child is dehydrated (despite already being told so by a parent) she’s probably missing a hec of a lot more.

cakewench · 17/01/2022 18:56

Back again to say, yes please hand him his bottle before he goes into school. He's obviously not bringing it out on his own, and there are many reasons that your idea of a water bottle counting session wouldn't work (there's always someone who has forgotten theirs, or left yesterday's behind so now there's two of them, etc. Also just, let's be honest, it would literally just be for the benefit of your child, by that age). Getting him to remember to bring it into the classroom is a big step in the right direction, and something you can easily facilitate yourself.

Aside from that, it can't hurt to ask the teacher to remind him to drink. You can't rely on that being consistent (we will remember some days, some days not, depending on what other drama might be happening around us) but I'm sure they'll do what they can.

Namechangehereandnow · 17/01/2022 18:56

You’re being ridiculous. Make sure your child drinks just before school and as soon as he comes in. It’s not school’s responsibility to make sure hundreds of kids sip water throughout the day.

My daughter didn’t drink at school, barely ate - she has autism. My son didn’t drink at school - anxiety but no other dx.

Teach your son to do more for himself, or just make sure, as above, he drinks as soon as you have him.

Tal45 · 17/01/2022 19:01

If you've been reading about interoception then you probably know children with ASD often have an impairment with it. Mine hardly ever recognises that he is thirsty (teenager now), he also hates going toilet at school. SM is also considered to be comorbid with ASD.
From everything you've said I would definitely keep in mind as he gets older that ASD may be a possibility and that just because he stopped being on the radar at school for SEN doesn't mean he doesn't have ASD.

He sounds a real sweetheart but if you can find ways to remind him to drink that will help him as he grows up (these issues may not go away with age and he can't rely on the teacher forever!) I think having the bottle in his hand will help him put it in the right place each day and I would start giving him a packed lunch and sticking a note on the front of it to remind him to drink - this is the sort of thing I did with my son. Once he is more used to drinking at lunch then he can have school meals sometimes and you can try writing a reminder on his hand instead.

This is the life of a mum with a child with ASD - writing reminder notes to them everywhere :-D

Wheelz46 · 17/01/2022 19:02

OP my child has been diagnosed with selective mutism and has extreme social anxiety. I know getting up to go and get a drink of water would not be something he would do as he would see it as bringing attention to himself. Fortunately at my child's school, they allow the children to have their water bottles on their desks, providing they are not being silly with them. Is this something you could ask the teacher for your child? Before this came into place, they used to have them all in a box but did allow under special circumstances some children to have them at their desk.

I have read a few comments regarding addressing your child's shyness at home as it will only get worse, if it was only that easy 🙄

Mellowyellow222 · 17/01/2022 19:02

There was no such thing as desk water when I went to school. At that age we might have drunk an umbungo or five alive for lunch but it was a tiny tiny carton.

Does he drink water or other liquids in the morning? Does he eat fruit and veg in his break and lunch? Have you spoken to the doctor about how poorly he is at home time?

This does seem to be more of a parenting issue than something for his teacher to police

ThirdElephant · 17/01/2022 19:02

I teach and when it got to 4 p.m. I realised I hadn't had a single thing to drink since I got to work. There are so many things to keep in your head as a teacher- I struggle to remember to drink myself, never mind reminding kids.

I'd probably try to remember if a parent wanted me to remind them but I do think that there's something to be said for not babying children to that extent. Maybe get him a watch that beeps every hour or so to remind him?

NoRaceInThisHorse · 17/01/2022 19:02

Is he worried about asking to use the bathroom?

LH1987 · 17/01/2022 19:03

Hi @LondonGrimmer sounds rubbish! I don’t thinks it’s unreasonable to expect someone to remind him, but they are clearly not going to.

Could you:
Get him a water bottle with time on it I.e by snack you should have drank this much, by lunch this much etc etc
Offer a reward for an empty water bottle (getting ready for MumsNet to tell me I am wrong 😛)

BurntO · 17/01/2022 19:04

I think it’s quite obvious he doesn’t WANT to drink OP. You say he’s had issues regarding not wanting to use the toilet at school that are now resolved when it really doesn’t sound like they are at all.

NoRaceInThisHorse · 17/01/2022 19:05

@rwalker

How did we ever survive at school without been able to have a drink except at dinner
We survived, but I think children should be able to go and get a drink when they need it. I don't think it was ideal to restrict previous generations to a glass of water at lunch, especially in the summer.
Chunkymonkey13 · 17/01/2022 19:06

My 4 year old was struggling to remember to drink so we have made it into a game. Their water bottle needs to be a certain level by home time. Seems to be working and no issues for a good few weeks

Abraxan · 17/01/2022 19:06

Re - reminding the teacher.
Part of the issue with this is that often classes are covered by other staff (not necessarily same one each time) for PPA, courses, pupil progress sessions, subject leadership time, appraisal time, mentor meetings if they have students, send reviews, etc plus staff absence.

It's just just one teacher. It's that teacher also needing that to teacher to pass on the message to everyone else.

I know it sounds really easy to suggest, but the reality is there's so much going on messages do get forgotten and reminders don't always get remembered. It's not deliberate, it's just not always possible to remember everything for every child all the time.

anon12345678901 · 17/01/2022 19:07

If you want your child to thrive, you need to ensure he remembers to drink. It's not the teacher's responsibility to make sure he has had a drink. You need to figure out a way to remind your child and get them to understand the importance of drinking.

ThirdElephant · 17/01/2022 19:08

@LH1987

Hi *@LondonGrimmer* sounds rubbish! I don’t thinks it’s unreasonable to expect someone to remind him, but they are clearly not going to.

Could you:
Get him a water bottle with time on it I.e by snack you should have drank this much, by lunch this much etc etc
Offer a reward for an empty water bottle (getting ready for MumsNet to tell me I am wrong 😛)

Surely they'd just tip the water away to get the reward?
CoastalWave · 17/01/2022 19:08

YABU. Make sure he has a decent drink before he leaves. He could literally drink nothing all day and immediately have a drink when you pick him up and he'd be absolutely fine. We're not in Africa, he's not going to dehydrate.

Mind you, I'm a child of the 80's . We didn't have water bottles and the like. We drank water from the taps if we were thirsty!!