To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

[LondonGrimmer]

Happy to be told otherwise. Child is in year 3. Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps. Transpires his full water bottle was still in his backpack so hadn't drank all day again (8.45 - 3.15) and he doesn't have a drink at lunch time either. He's an introvert who struggles with anxiety at times if that makes any difference.

Yes I have tried to explain to him the importance of staying hydrated and tell him he should try really hard to remember. I emailed the teacher last year and she said she'll try and remember to remind him (there are 23 kids in the class and one TA so I know they have their hands full).

Just frustrated and not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

YABU - your child is 7 or 8 and fully responsible for taking his water bottle out each day and remembering to drink.

YANBU - the teacher/TA should be helping more.

Also, could the "dirty cups" actually be water marks from the dishwasher, do you think? Might be worth explaining this to him.

Can you look to help him make sure it goes in the basket in the morning - eg. Give it to him to hold as he goes into school so its not so easily forgotten about?

Things like this can be built into timetables though.

Some kids are still wetting the bed (like my DC did) in part because they drink all their liquids in the evening and we’re too engrossed in every day stuff to notice thrust cues.

I’m terrible at remembering to drink myself but a big part of my daily routine is to fill a jug with sugar free squash and try to drink it before bed. It sits on my coffee table with a glass and most days just it being there is enough of a reminder to stop work and sit and drink. It’s half full this evening but I will drink it before bed and probably wake for a pee in the early hours. It’s either that for me or constipation and migraines.

I’m sure they encourage all their pupils to drink more, eat healthy, sleep more, exercise etc but they can’t physically force them.

If you ask them to tell him to drink more what will that achieve?

I would rather they encourage them but not forcefully as I think if they made them drink then there would be a lot more complaints of stomach aches as they try and hold their wee.

Make sure to include lots of fruits like apples and watermelons that have a high water content.

I think there are two issues here: him having access to the water bottle and then actually drinking from it. Hopefully sending him in with the bottle in his hand will help with the first of these.

How about a vibrating alarm watch to remind him to actually drink? Wobl and TabTime are two different ones. I'm sure there are others. Basically, you can set them so they vibrate at set points in the day. They're silent so discrete. It might help him get into the habit of drinking?

YABU.

@WTGN

YABU. My child is 8 and knows when they need to drink and is capable without being prompted. Also, 25-30 years ago when I was in primary school we didn't take bottles of water for the class. We got out drink at lunch time and that was it. We survived? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Same here. In primary we had water jugs with our lunches and water fountains in the loos/corridors etc. In secondary come the 3rd year when we were allowed packed lunches we may have been allowed to bring in our own drinks (can't really remember, I left 40 years ago!) But these would have been for lunch only not for drinking in class. There were water fountains in the corridors we could access as we were moving round between classes. No-one died of dehydration!

I'm not suggesting we go back to those days, if the research shows children perform better if well hydrated that's fine, just saying unless there are underlying issues such as undiagnosed diabetes or something they'll survive.

Dd is terrible at drinking but I used to ensure she had a drink with breakfast, as soon as she got home and with dinner. In reception the TA drew a line on her bottle and if she drank that much in a day then she’d get a house point. By year three though I think they’d only do that if you specifically asks. Dd is 13 and still forgets to drink but then I’m not good at it either.

I know it’s important to be hydrated but as a mum of 3 dc, the water bottle thing we do each day is insane… we fill up a bottle; dc takes it to school; dc brings it home from school; we empty bottle; then repeat every single school day for life.

The symptoms that you describe are not due to a lack or water and sound psychosomatic

The mentioning of dirty cups etc.

Sounds like you may have issues that you have instilled into your children?

I think YANBU. They are in loco parentis and should be ensuring basic welfare. They are still small at that age and need reminders for all sorts of things. Being a teacher is more than teaching.

Every single class i've had from year 3 to 6 i've told them to drink at break, lunch and whenever. Water bottles are at the back of the class. Lunch supervisors provide more water. It's literally put in front of them in ks1. And on the tables in ks2 with tons of cups.

If they are not drinking beyond that, it's down to the parents to tell me at which point I might remind them through the day a few times and put their bottle on the table but otherwise barring medical reasons (at which point the school secretary will manage it: for example water infection or tendency towards one) that's pretty much all I can do given I have 32 others in the class.

I have never ever seen a primary where drinking is not encouraged. In the heat we have bottles on tables and they don't have to ask to get their water. Barring SEND it's up to the parent to encourage water intake and liase with the teacher if it's a medical issue.

@LondonGrimmer

He has school dinners. Doesn't drink the water in the hall as he and his brother say the cups are always dirty.

I know they have a basket next to the sink in the classrooms for everyone's water bottles to go in and they're allowed to help themselves throughout the day.

I wouldn't expect a teacher to take 30 mins a day to remind everyone, no. But if a parent has expressed concerns around this about their child, and why they're worried (lack of attention span affecting learning due to dehydration in the afternoon being one) and the teacher has emailed back saying they'll do their best to gently/quietly remind him as often as she can then yes, I guess I did expect that tbh.

How do you know she isn’t trying to remind him? I don’t think anyone who has had a drink in her morning is going to be so dehydrated as to be unable to concentrate by the afternoon. When I was at school we had a cup of water at lunch and that was it during the school day, we all managed.

Of all the things teachers should be responsible for - this is not one of them

how about speak to the teacher ,find out what the situation regarding water bottles is
and
tell your son its his responsibility to get it out of his bag!
the cups probably have marks on them from the dishwasher (ours do)
they would not give kids dirty cups

@TheHoptimist

The symptoms that you describe are not due to a lack or water and sound psychosomatic

The mentioning of dirty cups etc.

Sounds like you may have issues that you have instilled into your children?

yes yes, I've been projecting wildly and it's alllll my fault of course!

Or. Or. Or maybe I am very aware not to voice my concerns in front of the children and know how important it is to work with the school as a united team. I don't actually complain about the school to/in front of my children thanks.

The 10yr agrees the cups are grim at school. Hence they prefer their bottles. Yes they both enjoy drinking water (it's filled at home every evening and kept in the fridge so their normal water, not schools).

Sorry but I disagree with many on this, are the water bottles allowed in the classroom on the desk? If so the teacher could easily make sure children have their water bottles close by. A reminder during registration asking if every one has their water bottles on their table is not hard.

My sons primary school didn’t allow water bottles in the classroom as they were worried they could leak on kids work if knocked over my son dehydrated very quickly during a very hot summer when he was 7 and was admitted to hospital twice within the same week because he was not allowed his water bottle in the class room and no body checked the kids had drunk enough during the 2 windows they were allowed them.

I would push the school more on this.

Also at the people from Ye Olden Days extolling the virtues of water fountains and free creamy milk with the lovely little metal lids.

There's been a wee pandemic and it's changed lots of things, including communal water points (though not sure this particular school had them pre Covid).

I also personally hate the "we survived" rhetoric. I want my children to thrive, not survive thanks. They've been through enough shit the past two years.

My 4 year old manages to drink without being prompted, in fact he often asks for his drink before we get to school if we walk. By 8 they shouldn't need treating like they are in nursery (unless there's some sort of special needs). If they are shy you need to push for them to speak up or just ask the teacher if they can keep their drink with them so they drink more without having to ask. Also like others point out there's also water on the table during lunch, so he might be drinking without you realising. If your child was 4 I would probably say speak to the teacher to ask them to prompt but by 8 your child should be mature enough to remember to drink.

We tend to do a whole class reminder at breaks and lunch and when transitioning from one task to another.

Tidy up, grab a drink and screw in your listening ears!

The 10yr agrees the cups are grim at school.

I find it unlikely that the cups are grim. Why would they be?

Hence they prefer their bottles. Yes they both enjoy drinking water (it's filled at home every evening and kept in the fridge so their normal water, not schools).

So if he can see his bottle and he has reminders do you think that he will drink the water and if he still doesn't what will you want to happen next?

@zurala

I think YANBU. They are in loco parentis and should be ensuring basic welfare. They are still small at that age and need reminders for all sorts of things. Being a teacher is more than teaching.

I agree with this.

Surely the teacher could do a general "right class, do we all have our water bottles, don't forget to have a drink" or after lunch just say "right did you all have a drink with lunch, if not, remember to use your water bottle"

Hi Op. My DS 8 won’t drink either. It started off because he has sensitive ears so wouldn’t go to the loos because the other kids were messing with the hand driers. School have been brilliant, they understood he’s a nervous child, he gets on with his work and isn’t a messer. So they were happy for him to use a different loo and have a pass to go during lessons. He also had a water cup he couldn’t use one year and one my mum had put squash in so the water tasted awful. I try to make him have a “wet breakfast” cereal/ porridge with grapes/orange etc and I put “wet foods”, like cucumbers, fruit into lunch box. When he’s home he has to go straight to the loo and I have a drink waiting and maybe an Ice lolly in hot weather. We have water jugs in the fridge so he can get plenty to drink when he’s home. Also if you are really worried do the pee test, DS was fascinated by it and loves to tell us all what colour his pee is. Good luck with it all.

It doesn’t sound like forgetfulness is the problem. It sounds like for whatever reason, he doesn’t want to drink water at school.

Former teacher here (secondary) and I think you and the teacher have both acted perfectly reasonably. As long as you're not demanding that she check his bottle every half hour or kicking off if she forgets once or twice there's nothing wrong with letting her know that this is an issue, although obviously you should be encouraging your DS to remember of his own accord as well.

Even more importantly, my shyness can be crippling. It's massively detrimental in things like job interviews and meetings, making friendships, spoken exams - that kind of thing. There's being naturally introverted, which is fair enough, and then there's massively disadvantaging myself through shyness/fear. I'm definitely in the second camp and wish I'd got over it somehow when I was at school - I've no idea how, I'm afraid, or if do it for myself! But please be aware that shyness to the degree they're making themselves ill rather than putting a hand up to ask to fetch their bottle is really not good, I think I'd try to work on the cause (shyness) rather than the symptom (not drinking) if that makes sense?

Hopefully someone introverted who has tackled their shyness will be able to advise you and me

@TragoCardboardCopper I was like this as a child and my dad really pushed me to do little things, like go to the counter in a cafe and order for myself or ask a supermarket worker where to find something. This was probably from when I was about 7 or 8. At the time I hated doing it and it was a slow process - I remember not getting student finance for months because they made some mistake and I was too scared to call them to sort it out - but it really did help, and now I'm better than a lot of my friends at things like phoning businesses or making friends with new people. Job interviews are still terrifying but I think that's pretty normal!

If your DD also turns out to be shy I would encourage her to do things like this from as early as possible. She might find it hard, but firstly being a shy child is much less embarrassing in the long run than being a shy adult who 'should' be capable of basic social interaction, and secondly people are always extra nice to little kids so she's much less likely to have the negative experiences that she might when she's older (someone being snarky cos they're having a bad day, for example).

Sorry but YABU. I'm a nurse and responsible for ensuring my patients have a decent fluid intake. It is probably one of the hardest parts of my job because if someone doesn't want to drink they won't. I'll ply them full of tea but come back 5 minutes later and it's still sitting there. I say oh your blood pressure has dropped a little can you please drink your cup of juice there to avoid having to go back on to a drip of fluids in your arm and they just take a tiny sip and go back to chatting about something else. This is alert and oriented adults so I would imagine a class of children would be 10x worse. It would be a full time job to follow all the non thirsty kids around and make them drink.

Make sure he gets a good drink when he's with you, try an elastic band of where you want him to get to, try some weak juice to see if that encourages him. Would he take milk? My DS has a milk vending machine so I know he gets a full glass at lunch and then he drinks about 40ml the rest of the day. Could you tuck a small plastic cup in his packed lunch so he can use his own cup at lunch with the water provided?