To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

[LondonGrimmer]

Happy to be told otherwise. Child is in year 3. Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps. Transpires his full water bottle was still in his backpack so hadn't drank all day again (8.45 - 3.15) and he doesn't have a drink at lunch time either. He's an introvert who struggles with anxiety at times if that makes any difference.

Yes I have tried to explain to him the importance of staying hydrated and tell him he should try really hard to remember. I emailed the teacher last year and she said she'll try and remember to remind him (there are 23 kids in the class and one TA so I know they have their hands full).

Just frustrated and not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

YABU - your child is 7 or 8 and fully responsible for taking his water bottle out each day and remembering to drink.

YANBU - the teacher/TA should be helping more.

oh and just to say, pale, lethargic and stomach cramps after no drink all day would indicate he needs to see a doctor.

How he is generally drinking at home?

Hmmm I think year 3 is old enough to know they ought to have a drink but I think many at that age will probably just forget.

Teachers are in loco parentis and I don't think it's too much for them to remind the whole class to drink a few times per day.

YABU. Seriously if you had any idea of how stretched teachers are now, you wouldn’t be asking the question. It was hard enough before but with budget cuts to TAs, absences due to covid and the ridiculous standards currently expected of these children despite the huge gaps in schooling - sadly I don’t feel like there’s a spare second to consider refreshments during the day. I teach year 3 and I encourage them to get a drink at tuck and break but beyond that I wouldn’t have a clue what they’ve drank. If a parent asked me if their child could have their water bottle on the table I wouldn’t have a problem, but I genuinely don’t have time to have a drink myself let alone remind them to!

Yabu but i struggle with the same problem with DD so completely understand.

People are forgetting in the olden days we had water fountains in the playground and the corridors inside.

Some parents will literally do anything to absolve themselves and their children of personal responsibility. It is up to you to teach your child to drink water during the day to the point where they do it unprompted. Your child's teacher cannot make it her responsibility on top of everything else to ensure he sips water. For goodness sake, it's a basic life skill to learn in the home. What's next - make sure he eats his veggies? Come on.

Generally, no, but with a child who has previously been on the radar for potentially needing extra help and whos parent has expresed a concern I'd think so.

Most of the teachers I've worked with would want to get to the bottom of it if there was anxiety about drinking/asking for a drink.

@CoastalWave

YABU. Make sure he has a decent drink before he leaves. He could literally drink nothing all day and immediately have a drink when you pick him up and he'd be absolutely fine. We're not in Africa, he's not going to dehydrate.

Mind you, I'm a child of the 80's . We didn't have water bottles and the like. We drank water from the taps if we were thirsty!!

That’s false. My son dehydrated at school 3 years ago from not having a drink all day on one of the hottest days of the year.

Children can dehydrate very quickly.

@BatshitBanshee

Some parents will literally do anything to absolve themselves and their children of personal responsibility. It is up to you to teach your child to drink water during the day to the point where they do it unprompted. Your child's teacher cannot make it her responsibility on top of everything else to ensure he sips water. For goodness sake, it's a basic life skill to learn in the home. What's next - make sure he eats his veggies? Come on.

I've had that one! I've also been asked to make sure they get to bed on time.

@LondonGrimmer

Also at the people from Ye Olden Days extolling the virtues of water fountains and free creamy milk with the lovely little metal lids.

There's been a wee pandemic and it's changed lots of things, including communal water points (though not sure this particular school had them pre Covid).

I also personally hate the "we survived" rhetoric. I want my children to thrive, not survive thanks. They've been through enough shit the past two years.

I wasn’t saying that. And there were no water fountains or free milk in my childhood. The point was more that if you ensure he drinks before school, and has plenty of drinks in the evening he shouldn’t be pale and unwell coming out of school. You asked in AIBU and said you were willing to be unreasonable but now you are angry when people saying it shouldn’t be a major issue, and if it is perhaps you need to get him checked out to be sure there isn’t something else at play.

I'd have thought the teacher could just say at the start of the day make sure you've all put your water bottles in the rack. But other than that there isn't much they can do.
Are the teachers relaxed about toilet breaks in lesson time. I know in Y1 my DD didn't drink because the teacher wouldn't let them use the toilet except at break time.
She ended up in hospital.

@BertieQueen that’s different as it was thd hottest day, on an average British day a person shouldn’t be ill after not drinking for s few hours.

Put a sticker on 1/5 down of the bottle. 'Drink past this point and I will get you a sticker/sweet/small toy/20p to spend/save.' Gradually move sticker down and space out rewards to every other day.

That’s false. My son dehydrated at school 3 years ago from not having a drink all day on one of the hottest days of the year.

It's January.

Is it reasonable to ask a teacher to prompt a child to drink during the day if this is a problem, whilst understanding that she is very busy? Yes.

It is reasonable to make the teacher responsible for the child drinking, and get annoyed with her if she does not manage to do it some days? No.

Yabu. He’s not forgetting so he doesn’t need reminding. He is CHOOSING not to drink to avoid his anxiety about the toilet and dirty cups. Those are the issues you need to work on, not getting annoyed at the school. Otherwise you’re going to be in a world of misery as he gets older and can’t combat his anxiety - I was a hugely anxious child, I know

[quote TheOriginalEmu]@BertieQueen that’s different as it was thd hottest day, on an average British day a person shouldn’t be ill after not drinking for s few hours.[/quote]
My point was it does happen in this country not just in Africa like you stated in your post.

Children dehydrate a lot quicker then a full grown adult it can happen any time of year more likely in summer yes but can happen throughout the year.

I would give him 2 glasses before school or on the way to school,then when he comes out of school drink from the bottle that should be plenty.Most young children don’t drink enough water sadly especially in winter.Diluted pure orange with hot water is tasty.

No it’s not the teachers job. The ta ‘s are there to support. The teachers role is to teach primarily

One of dds class mates forgets to drink so he has a watch that buzz every hour to remind him. Perhaps that could be an idea for your son.

@ThirdElephant

That’s false. My son dehydrated at school 3 years ago from not having a drink all day on one of the hottest days of the year.

It's January.

Children dehydrate a lot quicker then adults and can happen any time throughout the year just more likely in the summer months.

Why don't you put the water bottle in his hand as you send him into school instead of in his bag?

We have a problem with this too. I just make sure my dd has a big drink before and after school which helps. It's only winter, summer is fine

@sadpapercourtesan

I'm a primary teacher, and if a parent of a child with anxiety issues had asked me to make sure her son had a drink during the day, I would do so.

I dislike the encroaching idea that teachers are there purely to attend to academic matters and have no caring role whatsoever - that's dangerous, with young children. The teacher is in loco parentis. There are, of course, limits - I won't generally agree to things like "can you make sure she doesn't lose her new pink pencil" - but basic care, like a child with known shyness/anxiety and a history of mutism not speaking up when he's thirsty, then that is absolutely part of the teacher's role. Children build up self-care skills gradually and at different rates, and the adults around them need to support and scaffold those developing skills - that's part of education at this age.

You sound like a fantastic teacher.

@BatshitBanshee

Some parents will literally do anything to absolve themselves and their children of personal responsibility. It is up to you to teach your child to drink water during the day to the point where they do it unprompted. Your child's teacher cannot make it her responsibility on top of everything else to ensure he sips water. For goodness sake, it's a basic life skill to learn in the home. What's next - make sure he eats his veggies? Come on.

I've known teachers to be asked all manner of things like the veggies thing:

• don't let them choose a dessert, only the fruit option
• make sure they choose and eat the vegetables offered
• don't allow them to choose the sandwich option every day
• ditto the jacket potato option
• don't allow them to take a sweet/chocolate if it's someone's birthday and it's handed out

Etc

Our teachers and TAs don't do lunch duty, so no - I'm afraid we aren't going to stand over them and ensure they eat everything each day.
We can't monitor what your child chooses every day, we can't force them to choose something they don't like.

I also personally hate the "we survived" rhetoric. I want my children to thrive, not survive thanks.

Blimey, do you think that in the 60s and 70s we just hung on by a thread til our drink at lunch or something? That's so daft but it makes me realise why kids have so many mental health worries these days. They get it from parents, scared a child won't thrive if they don't have a sip of water every half hour.