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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

352 replies

LondonGrimmer · 17/01/2022 16:38

Happy to be told otherwise. Child is in year 3. Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps. Transpires his full water bottle was still in his backpack so hadn't drank all day again (8.45 - 3.15) and he doesn't have a drink at lunch time either. He's an introvert who struggles with anxiety at times if that makes any difference.

Yes I have tried to explain to him the importance of staying hydrated and tell him he should try really hard to remember. I emailed the teacher last year and she said she'll try and remember to remind him (there are 23 kids in the class and one TA so I know they have their hands full).

Just frustrated and not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

YABU - your child is 7 or 8 and fully responsible for taking his water bottle out each day and remembering to drink.

YANBU - the teacher/TA should be helping more.

OP posts:
PixieLaLa · 19/01/2022 16:28

You mentioned he had an issue before about using the toilets at school and now the ‘dirty’ cups, he might have undiagnosed OCD?

LadyShish · 19/01/2022 23:34

I work as an admin at a school, we constantly remind kids to drink their water, when they come into class they have a tray that everyone puts their water bottle in during the days the teacher gives little breaks for the kids to drink their water every hour!
When in an education setting you're entrusting your child to that school, as such the responsibility for their health and wellbeing is passed onto the school for the time they are there. It's not just about books - helping kids remember healthy habits is also education, because it teaches them to look after themselves. That's why we makes sure every child eats and drink while on school grounds to jot do so would constitute a safeguarding concern. YANBU

Sceptre86 · 20/01/2022 09:18

My dd has a utility. She barely drinks anything at school. Has some milk at lunch but that is it. I've spoken to her about how important it is to drink throughout the day but she still needs a bit of prompting and is 5 years old. I spoke to her teacher who said she would remind the whole class. That's the best I can ask for. When she gets home I make sure she drinks plenty. Yanbu.

Sceptre86 · 20/01/2022 09:19

*uti not utility!

HappyDays40 · 26/01/2022 03:21

You've made the online newspaper OP
www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/family-kids/mum-says-teacher-should-ensure-25988951.amp

Chocolat13 · 13/06/2023 13:52

Hi everyone

I know this is an old thread but I need to share my experience and clarify what is being a teacher in our country.

I found this thread because I'm a bit concerned about my 8 years old daughter being very dehydrated after school.

Temperature are now around 30°C.

Today my daughter missed school because yesterday she had a huge headache and her private hurts. She had a wee and her urine was very dark and smelly.

All signs of dehydration.

Now, we are very much aware of importance of drinking and especially water and not soda and sugar drinks, especially on hot days.

I'm a Male teacher in primary school. My daughter goes on an other school than my work placement.

When she is with us, we are drinking plenty of water, sometimes a fruit juice.

Legally, the school is not responsible.

Now let's go back a minute on our responsability as a teacher.

Parents trust us with the life of their children.

Because we can't have the parents all day next to their children to remind them to drink, we need to pay attention to that.

Every 2h I remind my class to have a few sip on their bottles on hot days.

When we are getting back to class after lunchtime, because I know that children have been playing, I always take a couple of minute and ask the children to drink.

The real question is not who is legally responsible, the real question is why did we signed up to be teachers and work in education?

My biggest fear is to have to call an ambulance because one of our kids is being dehydrated severely. Children doesn't regulate their body the way an adult do.
That's why leaving an 8 years old in a hot car for more than 30 minutes have a lot of chance to kill them.

My job is to make sure that my children are safe and they can come back to their parents after each day at school.

I realised that some children are more shy than others or more distracted.

They are not bad kids, they don't deserve to be punished for that.

They just need a bit more of care.

It is not easy to be a teacher in the UK. We work a lot and we have a HUGE responsibility.

But nobody forced me to choose this profession.

I also want to say thank you for those saying that making sure than kids are hydrated is too much on the shoulder of a teacher, but let me look after my work and decide what is too much on my shoulder.

What is very heavy on my shoulder is when parents are disrespectful toward us when we try our best to prepare their kids to their best of potential or when parents insulted us during lockdown not realising that we had to teach their kids online AND making sure that our kids where doing the same.

There are bad teachers, I don't know if I'm a good one, but I try my best everyday and keeping our kids hydrated is part of it.
It has to be done in addition of the parents education at home, but when your kids are with us, because you can't be there, we are morally and humanely responsible.

I don't understand how people can say that if a child is not getting hydrated properly after 7-8 years old, it is their responsibility.

Personally I can't watch a child suffering or being in bad health.

I used to naively believe that everyone is. Apparently I was wrong.

I'm a teacher and I can make sure that kids on my care are hydrated so I do it, because what I care about is not my legal respinsability, not if it is the fault of the parent or the kids because they are 7-8 years old or more, but I care about their wellbeing.

One last thing, it is normal as a parent to raise concern with the school.

Because we let our kids 6h a day at school and that everything can happen.

It has to be done nicely and with respect, and the job of the school is to be open to dialog about those concerns.

Otherwise, it is time to change our job.

Valeriekat · 13/06/2023 20:21

LondonGrimmer · 17/01/2022 17:07

@SheWoreYellow

If you were to send him in with his water bottle in his hand rather than his bag, would there be a better chance of it making it into the classroom?
Yes! Thanks to everyone for this (really rather obvious now you mention it!) suggestion - will definitely be doing that from tomorrow! I think if it's in his line of sight he'll have better chance of remembering Smile

Obviously this wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't affected by not drinking for 7hrs a day (Inc travel T to/from school) but he is lethargic and has stomach cramps which dissipate with a drink so he clearly is.

Well why aren't you giving him a drink before and after school then?

LondonGrimmer · 13/06/2023 20:32

FML. Zombie thread but of course he drinks before school (around 7.30am) and after school (with sports clubs some days around 4.30pm). Forgive me for thinking going 8-9hrs a day without drinking isn't right 🙄

OP posts:
LondonGrimmer · 13/06/2023 20:32

@Chocolat13 you sound really lovely and caring. Your pupils are lucky to have such a compassionate teacher who takes time to ensure their basic needs are met.

OP posts:
VioletLemon · 23/06/2023 13:20

Chocolat13 · 13/06/2023 13:52

Hi everyone

I know this is an old thread but I need to share my experience and clarify what is being a teacher in our country.

I found this thread because I'm a bit concerned about my 8 years old daughter being very dehydrated after school.

Temperature are now around 30°C.

Today my daughter missed school because yesterday she had a huge headache and her private hurts. She had a wee and her urine was very dark and smelly.

All signs of dehydration.

Now, we are very much aware of importance of drinking and especially water and not soda and sugar drinks, especially on hot days.

I'm a Male teacher in primary school. My daughter goes on an other school than my work placement.

When she is with us, we are drinking plenty of water, sometimes a fruit juice.

Legally, the school is not responsible.

Now let's go back a minute on our responsability as a teacher.

Parents trust us with the life of their children.

Because we can't have the parents all day next to their children to remind them to drink, we need to pay attention to that.

Every 2h I remind my class to have a few sip on their bottles on hot days.

When we are getting back to class after lunchtime, because I know that children have been playing, I always take a couple of minute and ask the children to drink.

The real question is not who is legally responsible, the real question is why did we signed up to be teachers and work in education?

My biggest fear is to have to call an ambulance because one of our kids is being dehydrated severely. Children doesn't regulate their body the way an adult do.
That's why leaving an 8 years old in a hot car for more than 30 minutes have a lot of chance to kill them.

My job is to make sure that my children are safe and they can come back to their parents after each day at school.

I realised that some children are more shy than others or more distracted.

They are not bad kids, they don't deserve to be punished for that.

They just need a bit more of care.

It is not easy to be a teacher in the UK. We work a lot and we have a HUGE responsibility.

But nobody forced me to choose this profession.

I also want to say thank you for those saying that making sure than kids are hydrated is too much on the shoulder of a teacher, but let me look after my work and decide what is too much on my shoulder.

What is very heavy on my shoulder is when parents are disrespectful toward us when we try our best to prepare their kids to their best of potential or when parents insulted us during lockdown not realising that we had to teach their kids online AND making sure that our kids where doing the same.

There are bad teachers, I don't know if I'm a good one, but I try my best everyday and keeping our kids hydrated is part of it.
It has to be done in addition of the parents education at home, but when your kids are with us, because you can't be there, we are morally and humanely responsible.

I don't understand how people can say that if a child is not getting hydrated properly after 7-8 years old, it is their responsibility.

Personally I can't watch a child suffering or being in bad health.

I used to naively believe that everyone is. Apparently I was wrong.

I'm a teacher and I can make sure that kids on my care are hydrated so I do it, because what I care about is not my legal respinsability, not if it is the fault of the parent or the kids because they are 7-8 years old or more, but I care about their wellbeing.

One last thing, it is normal as a parent to raise concern with the school.

Because we let our kids 6h a day at school and that everything can happen.

It has to be done nicely and with respect, and the job of the school is to be open to dialog about those concerns.

Otherwise, it is time to change our job.

Too lengthy to finish, apologies.
Not sure what your main point is but a jug of cooled water and reusable cups is easy to do. A water break 3 or 4 times a day is easy. Are you saying this doesn't happen where you teach. Hydration is a big focus in schools in Scotland interested to hear how it's handled elsewhere as you're right it's v dangerous.

BelindaBears · 23/06/2023 13:23

Even if he drinks nothing from his water bottle if he drinks before school, at lunchtime with dinner and after school he shouldn’t be ending up as you describe. My reception aged DD rarely drinks from her bottle but she’s perfectly fine having a drink with lunch and the morning milk.

LondonGrimmer · 28/06/2023 16:49

BelindaBears · 23/06/2023 13:23

Even if he drinks nothing from his water bottle if he drinks before school, at lunchtime with dinner and after school he shouldn’t be ending up as you describe. My reception aged DD rarely drinks from her bottle but she’s perfectly fine having a drink with lunch and the morning milk.

@BelindaBears he has milk with his cereal around 7.30am. No milk at school - he's in Yr4. Packed lunch and no drinks on the table (have finally found some affordable little yoghurt drinks he likes so he does now have those thank goodness). He starts at 8.45am.

Then he'll have swimming or football after school. He gets collected about 4.20pm then home at approx 4.30pm.

It's been almost 18 months since I started this thread, and still he comes home 2-3 times a week with a completely full and untouched water bottle...we've given up with any help from school...

OP posts:
70sTomboy · 28/06/2023 17:14

From what I've seen, the kids have plain water in plastic bottles. Yuck, I wouldn't want to drink lukewarm water from a bottle like that, either. Unless it is chilled, it's not nice. Even flavoured and warm is grim.
I know it's not done these days, but at least the water fountains of days gone by had cold water.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 28/06/2023 17:38

The thing is we can't force children to drink. We just can't. Or supervise them 1 2 1 to make sure they do have a drink when asked.

So all we can do is give them access to water , remind them, tell them to take their water bottles with them etc. We can't make them drink.

DD was the same so instead of nagging school which was pointless, I nagged her and i would get very cross if she came home with a full water bottle.Only took a few weeks but she's a regular drinker now.

BelindaBears · 28/06/2023 20:57

It's been almost 18 months since I started this thread, and still he comes home 2-3 times a week with a completely full and untouched water bottle...we've given up with any help from school...

I didn’t realise it was an old thread when I posted. Is it actually affecting him? If it’s been happening 2-3 times a week for 18 months perhaps he’s just not thirsty and it really doesn’t matter.

Quinoawoman · 28/06/2023 21:04

I'm a primary teacher.

YANBU to ask the teacher to help you out, but YABU to say it is entirely his/her responsibility.

I would not mind if a parent told me this and asked me to remind the child to drink, however I can't guarantee that I would actually be able to do it. There is just so much to remember and so much to do that I would probably forget. Ultimately the child is responsible for drinking if they are thirsty.

Inmydreams88 · 28/06/2023 21:05

YABU he should be able to go into his bag and take his drink at play time and lunchtime even if he doesn’t want to do it in class time.

Teachers haven’t got time to check the whole classes water bottles every day.

Workyticket · 28/06/2023 21:08

YANBU. I'm a teacher - taught Primary for years and now teach FE

In this weather I'd be checking that all children grabbed their drinks before or after morning breaks and again at lunch.

It's no different to the usual "make sure you put your sleeves down Julie, you burned a little yesterday. Tommy - remember your hat, it's probably under the reading area cushion again. Jack, your lace is loose, Tilly please put the class bear down......"

I teach adults now and still say "let's grab a break - try to grab 5 minutes fresh air, there's a water fountain at the top if the stairs if you need to fill your bottle" blah blah

Teaching is a out 10% of our job!

Anothermother3 · 28/06/2023 21:14

I said yabu but I think that only because the teacher being expected to carry on from the email last year is probably stretching things. I think if you had flagged up ongoing concerns then it is not unreasonable to ask for support. I would expect my 7yo to have some support if this was the situation (she does have adhd and interoception is definitely something to work on for her). The thing with poor interoceptive skills is that the child requires this to be scaffolded and supported and school is often not in a position to do this unless adaptations are made as things like boy using the toilet at certain times or drinking at certain times for a child with poor interoceptive skills does not promote a greater awareness of physiological cues. (Complete tangent there but hopefully something to think about).

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 28/06/2023 21:33

Workyticket · 28/06/2023 21:08

YANBU. I'm a teacher - taught Primary for years and now teach FE

In this weather I'd be checking that all children grabbed their drinks before or after morning breaks and again at lunch.

It's no different to the usual "make sure you put your sleeves down Julie, you burned a little yesterday. Tommy - remember your hat, it's probably under the reading area cushion again. Jack, your lace is loose, Tilly please put the class bear down......"

I teach adults now and still say "let's grab a break - try to grab 5 minutes fresh air, there's a water fountain at the top if the stairs if you need to fill your bottle" blah blah

Teaching is a out 10% of our job!

And if the child refuses to drink? Or gets their water bottle but doesn't actually drink from it? Or says "I just refilled it miss"?

Like I said DD didn't drink at all for a while. I sorted that. She also won't wee at school. Does it bother me? Yes. Do I expect the teacher to shove her in the toilet and not let her out until she wees? No. Because short of forcing her, no amount of reminders or opportunities will make her go.

Workyticket · 28/06/2023 21:47

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus I've taught for 23 years. Most children will take at least a few sips if all the other kids are

I'm not sure what you want me to answer- obviously nobody can force them but a kind reminder? Absolutely not out of the realms of our job.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 28/06/2023 21:56

Workyticket · 28/06/2023 21:47

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus I've taught for 23 years. Most children will take at least a few sips if all the other kids are

I'm not sure what you want me to answer- obviously nobody can force them but a kind reminder? Absolutely not out of the realms of our job.

Because OP says the teacher agreed to remind him. She probably did as well, but OP assumes it doesn't happen because her child still isn't drinking. What more can the teacher do?

Workyticket · 28/06/2023 21:59

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 28/06/2023 21:56

Because OP says the teacher agreed to remind him. She probably did as well, but OP assumes it doesn't happen because her child still isn't drinking. What more can the teacher do?

Remind all of the children every day. Nothing earth shattering 🤷‍♀️

LondonGrimmer · 28/06/2023 22:14

Thanks to the new posters for their thoughts.

@Anothermother3 I suspect he does have poor interoceptive awareness, he probably wouldn't eat much at all either given the choice. He struggles with anxiety from time to time. I have only Googled stuff about the three extra senses; vestibular, interception and proprioception. If you had any decent links to how I can support and scaffold him I'd really appreciate them please?

As to what the teacher could do? Reply to my email reassuring me that she is reminding him to drink once a day? Maybe pick up the phone to reassure me he's in good care?

I volunteer at an Infants school so know that teachers do spend a lot of time reminding their pupils to do all the things you said @Workyticket (the teachers there are incredible mind!).

OP posts:
Anothermother3 · 28/06/2023 22:49

I don’t really have links as much as books I know are good but probably more detail than you might want. Usually starting with more conscious check ins and exercises around that can be good but I’d definitely try and set some easy check in goals with the teacher to follow up on with something visual (but discreet so he didn’t feel self conscious) so it would be easier to follow. Also explaining really clearly that some people find it hard to know what is happening with feelings and that this is usually not just emotional but also physical - that’s where linking to physiological arousal/anxiety also fits in. I’ll try and think of some resources that are pitched right (I’m not trying to sound patronising this applies to me and 2 of my own DC but also professionally so just trying to pitch it in a useful way). Sorry to derail a bit I don’t think you’re unreasonable just need to scaffold it a bit so there’s a clear plan that’s easy to follow and support.