To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

[LondonGrimmer]

Happy to be told otherwise. Child is in year 3. Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps. Transpires his full water bottle was still in his backpack so hadn't drank all day again (8.45 - 3.15) and he doesn't have a drink at lunch time either. He's an introvert who struggles with anxiety at times if that makes any difference.

Yes I have tried to explain to him the importance of staying hydrated and tell him he should try really hard to remember. I emailed the teacher last year and she said she'll try and remember to remind him (there are 23 kids in the class and one TA so I know they have their hands full).

Just frustrated and not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

YABU - your child is 7 or 8 and fully responsible for taking his water bottle out each day and remembering to drink.

YANBU - the teacher/TA should be helping more.

[Grida]

I am sure no teacher would mind being asked to remind the children to drink but they might not remember to. Some teachers are brilliant at all the practical parenting type stuff, others are better at explaining maths. Could you get ds to set his alarm on his watch and tell him to drink when it goes off. Lots of children do this to remember stuff during the day.

[stripyleopardsleep]

@sadpapercourtesan

I'm a primary teacher, and if a parent of a child with anxiety issues had asked me to make sure her son had a drink during the day, I would do so.

I dislike the encroaching idea that teachers are there purely to attend to academic matters and have no caring role whatsoever - that's dangerous, with young children. The teacher is in loco parentis. There are, of course, limits - I won't generally agree to things like "can you make sure she doesn't lose her new pink pencil" - but basic care, like a child with known shyness/anxiety and a history of mutism not speaking up when he's thirsty, then that is absolutely part of the teacher's role. Children build up self-care skills gradually and at different rates, and the adults around them need to support and scaffold those developing skills - that's part of education at this age.

@sadpapercourtesan this has just restored my faith in teachers and people in general. Thank you.

I think schools should encourage a healthy relationship with regular drinking for all children. Everyone should be encouraged to drink regularly and make it a part of the classroom culture.

[SmellyOldOwls]

I would be worried OP if my child were coming out of school pale and lethargic every day - I don't think that's just down to not having a drink? My son doesn't really drink at school (although he does have a carton of apple juice at lunchtime) and he comes out his usual self, just a bit thirstier!

[withgraceinmyheart]

I’m really surprised by these comments. At our schools teachers make a challenge of trying to get to the end of your water bottle each day. All year groups as far as I know.

Surely it’s in the teachers interests to make sure all the kids are well hydrated and able to concentrate.

YANBU

[stingofthebutterfly]

In hot weather I'd like to think the teacher would remind all the children to keep hydrated, but generally I'd expect a year 3 child to be able to be responsible for this themselves. He surely witnesses other children drinking. I don't think it's up to the teacher to be telling him.

[FreeFrenchHens]

I'm heartened by the teachers who have replied. They're the ones with experience of children who need a bit more help.

My son's junior school teachers would allow some children to keep their bottle by their chair instead of by the sink. Also they can reinforce with the child that they know when it's ok to get a drink without needing to ask, or tell the child that they personally are allowed one anytime. Lots they can do to support without declaring it entirely their responsibility. It needs you working together, reinforcing at home and chasing bottles coming home etc and it's really boring but necessary.

It's a good idea for him to go in with bottle in hand, but even thinking of it, standing up and getting his bottle from the sink can also be too many barriers.

With poor interoception he will likely be used to doing things by rote so it's likely that once he cracks it, he will be able to do it really well.

[stripyleopardsleep]

@feettothestars

Wow some really fierce comments on here notably NOT teachers! As a primary teacher I'm taken aback actually.

If a parent asked me to keep an eye on a child who wasn't drinking and they were worried - I would gladly do so!!

I'm not there just to teach - I am there to holistically look after my class as best I can. And I don't get it all right and some days might not remember but for anyone reading this and thinking they can't ask a teacher this - you absolutely can. Drinks bottles are on the children's tables in our school: you can't learn well if you're dehydrated.

And I would never think of a parent who voiced a concern as a having 'pfb'

So YANBU to ask but the teacher might they not always remember. We're actually a pretty decent bunch for the most part.

Another teacher restoring faith here.

There are some shitty comments here by people who clearly think they know a teachers role better than a teacher does.

[GabriellaMontez]

Yanbu. It's totally reasonable to expect someone to at least have a go at supporting him with this. It's so important and he's obviously finding difficult. It doesn't have to be forever. They could just spend a week asking him at break.

No big deal. Don't know why so many people have such a punitive response to this.

[Hoppinggreen]

Also, I went right through both junior and senior school without a water bottle - most of us did.
Obviously it’s better to stay hydrated but unless it’s very hot or there is an underlying illness going without drinking between meals shouldn’t make someone ill

[Emmelina]

I have year 5 this year. When we are changing activity I tell everyone “find yourselves a drink, use the toilet” and then I busy myself with getting things changed over. Do I notice everybody drinking? Not generally as I’m busy getting the next lesson together.
By this age most children know they’re feeling a bit thirsty and how to rectify it, if there’s nothing else going on.
Is he drinking enough at home too? A day without a drink in the school day isn’t great, but shouldn’t cause severe dehydration as you’ve described. Does he like water?

[mumof2exhausted]

@waterrat

Sorry op I have an anxious child who comes out of school in this state too but YABU. How could she possibly add this to her busy day looking after and teaching so many children.

We all went thr whole school day without water . If he drinks a cup of water going in first thing he will survive. There are water taps in the playground and surely at a certain point children need to learn to respond to their own thirst.

I was just talking with my sister about this yesterday - we didn’t take a drink into school. Might have had a drink with lunch not a lot and we survived. Sorry but teacher way too busy to be telling 8 year olds to drink ! YABU

[cherish123]

No. Not time I school day. Teacher isn't around at lunchtime. During snack time, those children who don't have milk are usually told to get their water bottles. Other than that, no encouragement.

[Mybumlooksbig]

@KarenTheGammonRemoaner

Wow

[madisonbridges]

The cruel years of the 1960s and 70s. No such thing as water bottles. No drinks allowed in class. We did have milk at break for a few early years but I don't like milk and no one ever offered me an alternative. I really don't know how I made it through.

[Whitecushion]

In recent years it seems to have become quite common for some parents to ask us to make sure their children drink. I normally do remember for a day or two and stand their patiently whilst said child takes the tiniest sips known to man. I am so tempted to chuck half down the sink as I then have to meet the accusing eyes of their parents as they tear the bottle from their child's hand at hometime and scrutinise it!
Like many others I'm hale and hearty having got through my school years on a cup of water at lunchtime.
I' m sorry if not drinking is truly having such a bad effect on your child but he does need to take responsibility for it himself.

[HAF1119]

I think there is a bit of a balance to be had. Ideally he remembers himself, however it is evident that he is not..

Can you give him the bottle in hand instead of in his bag so he walks in with it and puts it straight in the area that the children go to get drinks?

If that doesn't work contemplate the school schedule and put some sort of prompts? E.g. a little post it on a book that will be used during the day? Until he gets used to a routine himself without prompt

[APurpleSquirrel]

OP - are you sure the teacher/TA hasn't been reminding them to drink? But his anxiety is getting in the way?
Also you need to address the drinks available at lunchtime. If the cups are dirty then that needs to be addressed. But who told you they were dirty? Your eldest? Or youngest first? & is it that they're dirty everyday, or they were once on one day & now they think they're dirty? Seems odd that every cup is dirty every day.

[Hesma]

Even if the teacher reminds the class they can’t make your child drink. Could this be the case? At that age I’d expect my child to know to drink and I would remind every morning if needed.

[Bagamoyo1]

Sorry if this has been asked but do they not keep their water bottles on their desks? When my kids were at Primary they all went in holding their water bottles in their hands, then put them on their desks, so they could have a swig whenever they wanted. Is this an option?

[Tornado70]

YANBU
Some kids (and adults) find it incredibly difficult to process all that they need to do in the course of the day.
I definitely think if a child requires promoting, the school should be able to provide that.
Best wishes to you OP. It’s difficult when our kids need individual care, rather than for the “normal mould.

[LittleGwyneth]

Can you write 'WATER' on his hand? It's very very much not the teacher's job to remind him.

[rooarsome]

From what I gather there were a couple of kids in DD's class like this too. Their class teacher has introduced specific points in the day when the whole class has a little drink now

[Millionairesshortbreadshort]

I think that a routine of encouraging a quick drink between tasks/before or at the end of breaks - for the whole class and the staff - would be great for everyone’s wellbeing. My DS never feels thirsty so comes out dehydrated too and he’s a bit older. It’s just as simple as the teacher saying ‘right before we start maths today let’s have a quick drink of water - they do it too - on with the lesson. They don’t need to police it but a reminder would be helpful and helping them to get into the habit before big school too. If they are hydrated they will concentrate and learn better too. They will be more regulated.

[NatashaBedwouldbenice]

I'm not talking about constant reminders but like others say just a quick "don't forget to drink" once a day at break time or something can't be too difficult?

The problem is the 100 other things they have to remember for the whole class. Then there's the children they need to remind about going to the toilet, not eating the rubbers, not touching their genitals, doing up their shoelaces, not licking the windows, A not poking B, C not sitting next to person D, E not talking to person A etc.