Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

352 replies

LondonGrimmer · 17/01/2022 16:38

Happy to be told otherwise. Child is in year 3. Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps. Transpires his full water bottle was still in his backpack so hadn't drank all day again (8.45 - 3.15) and he doesn't have a drink at lunch time either. He's an introvert who struggles with anxiety at times if that makes any difference.

Yes I have tried to explain to him the importance of staying hydrated and tell him he should try really hard to remember. I emailed the teacher last year and she said she'll try and remember to remind him (there are 23 kids in the class and one TA so I know they have their hands full).

Just frustrated and not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

YABU - your child is 7 or 8 and fully responsible for taking his water bottle out each day and remembering to drink.

YANBU - the teacher/TA should be helping more.

OP posts:
Twillow · 18/01/2022 10:40

It's definitely not the 'teachers' job' - their responsibilities are not in this remit! BUT, it wouldn't be untoward to speak with the teacher and speak to her about your worries. Otherwise, just make sure he drinks well at home - it's not like the temperature is high and he's doing a lot of activity, he should be fine.

Offmyfence · 18/01/2022 11:05

YABU

MeredithGreyishblue · 18/01/2022 11:23

Oh dear god, the "in my day" crowd are out. In my nan's day she took my mum to where they were laying tarmac to sort her whooping cough out! Things change. You know that. It's not competitive hardship. I don't have the habit of drinking enough through the day and it does make me ill. I wish it had been encouraged at school. Hydration isn't a luxury in the UK, for the love of God. Stop with all the "well we managed on the drops from condensation and we're still alive" nonsense.

MedusasBadHairDay · 18/01/2022 11:27

@Alayalaya

OP hasn’t said the child has a diagnosed medical condition which requires him to drink more. I’ve read the entire thread and can’t see any mention of a diagnosis.
It's in the OPs very first post that she's noticed her child reacts badly to not drinking enough, "pale, lethargic and [..] stomach cramps." Just because there is no diagnosed illness doesn't mean it's not having health implications.

I know my DD reacts very badly when she doesn't drink enough, especially stomach cramps. Not all children will react like that obviously, I know my DS doesn't. But this thread is specifically about a child who does.

SnowDropMania · 18/01/2022 12:24

In the olden days if you ran around on.a hot day during lunch play, you queued up for the drinking fountain. Or in imaginary 70s mumsnet land the dinner ladies said "No water for you til you get home. It's the 70s and children aren't allowed to drink"

LLFraCol3451 · 18/01/2022 13:13

If we notice a child isnt drinking or if they say they have a headache we will tell them to drink more water. Other than that we can not possibly monitor how much every child in a class of on average atleast 30 children are drinking. Parents need to parent and if their child is going home and they are concerned they have not drank enough then the parents need to remind them to and why it is important. It might also help if parents spoke to class teacher & asked them to remind, but also explained to their children the importance of responsibility as they get older & remembering to do things for themselves, as the teacher is very busy and may forget as they can't remember for every child.

Thirtytimesround · 18/01/2022 13:19

Yanbu. Schools are really, really, terrible at this and it is a common problem. Our (ex) school had a very scary teacher who put all the water bottles in the hall and 6 yr olds hd to put up hand to interrupt lesson and ask permission to go get a drink. So of course none of them did and they all got mega dehydrated with tum aches etc. I had to get the head to intervene.

Re. all the people saying YABU: they live in a wonderful world where a 7/8 year old both remembers to do something and actually does it, just because they were told to do it many hours earlier. I do not live in that world and neither does my child.

BrainFoggerty · 18/01/2022 14:07

My daughter has a medical need to drink water throughout the day & we had a nightmare getting her primary school to ensure this happened. She was a 'busy' child who would just forget & is very young for her year & a bit less mature than her peers. We even had a letter from both our GP & consultant to state this was necessary but it never improved.

I get that teachers are busy but why can't there be a collective drink ie just before lessons, before break, before lunch etc. It takes 30seconds each time. Dehydrated children cannot concentrate & therefore cannot learn. School is responsible for both education & the child's well-being during school hours.

Comefromaway · 18/01/2022 14:27

That's what I used to do. At a convenient time eg in between lessons I'd say, right anyone who wants a drink grab/fill your water bottle now (the school I was in also had water coolers and paper cups in several of the classrooms or corridors. It only took a few minutes and was less disruptive as the children weren't up and down for drinks at other times.

Sirzy · 18/01/2022 14:50

Even if a teacher encourages children to go and get a drink that’s all they can do. If a child doesn’t want to drink the teacher can’t make them

Ozanj · 18/01/2022 14:50

In the old days if you needed a drink (80s) you just put your hand up and went to the loo to drink from the drinking fountain there or just outside. Kids not being allowed out of classrooms / made to piss, starve, or hurt themselves because teachers can’t be arsed to plan their lessons and take into account comfort breaks is NEW

TooMuchSugar22 · 18/01/2022 14:55

My dsc is 9 and often comes back with water bottle full. Can wake in the morning and not have 1st drink u til 2 pm.
Dcs is more than capable of making a drink. Our nearly 4 year old does.
When I mentioned to dsc dm. She said 'oh dc should have water made in a special bottle and prompted to drink' I asked why 'she said because dc is still sooo icckle'
I replied. Sorry dc is 9! Not little or icckle. And more than capable of getting a drink.
See also. Getting self dressed. Tieing shoe laces. Cutting sausages and dinner!
Apparently myself and dh are UR.

Dsc has no additional needs. We have taught to tie shoes, make get dressed themselves and certainly don't cut up food for them.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 18/01/2022 14:57

@Ozanj

In the old days if you needed a drink (80s) you just put your hand up and went to the loo to drink from the drinking fountain there or just outside. Kids not being allowed out of classrooms / made to piss, starve, or hurt themselves because teachers can’t be arsed to plan their lessons and take into account comfort breaks is NEW
We weren’t permitted to leave lessons for these things in primary school in the 90’s We’d have been told that that is what break times are for. They’d probably let you go if you looked really desperate but not without a finger wagging.
LLFraCol3451 · 18/01/2022 15:43

That comment is uneducated, ignorant and shows you have no idea of a teachers work load. Children know they can have a drink AM & PM break, lunchtime and also between lessons if they ask so we teachers know where they are going. Try doing the job then comment!

wishtotravel · 18/01/2022 16:10

I think you need your first port of call is to try and establish whether the not drinking is a conscious decision due to not wanting to ask to use the toilet, not wanting to ask to get flask if it's been forgotten in bag, or not wanting to drink from what he thinks is a dirty cup. ( this can also create anxiety if he is worried it could make him ill)
On the other hand he could be like me, and others in my family, where he literally does not feel thirst. I do not feel thirsty unless in extremely hot weather or doing strenuous exercise. Day to day drinking for me is a chore, and even as an adult I often forget, because my body doesn't tell me it's needed.

snappy42 · 18/01/2022 16:22

As a teacher, is is not just our responsibility to look after the child's educational needs, but also their emotional and physical needs too, alongside their well being. I would have, and have been more than happy to give children reminders who are not drinking throughout the day; especially if this is causing problems for the child. Children need to drink to be able to focus, concentrate and function!!!
It is never the case of having to remind every child all day, quite often just the odd one or two.

Original poster
LondonGrimmer · 18/01/2022 16:24

@wishtotravel

I think you need your first port of call is to try and establish whether the not drinking is a conscious decision due to not wanting to ask to use the toilet, not wanting to ask to get flask if it's been forgotten in bag, or not wanting to drink from what he thinks is a dirty cup. ( this can also create anxiety if he is worried it could make him ill) On the other hand he could be like me, and others in my family, where he literally does not feel thirst. I do not feel thirsty unless in extremely hot weather or doing strenuous exercise. Day to day drinking for me is a chore, and even as an adult I often forget, because my body doesn't tell me it's needed.
Yes I agree. We spoke about it this morning before school to make sure he wasn't doing it on purpose to avoid using the toilets, like he was in his old school/Infants.

Think I'm starting to accept he either has interoception issues and/or just doesn't get thirsty like the rest of us. I just worry about him Sad

He did drink half a bottle today though and no cramps.

OP posts:
Original poster
LondonGrimmer · 18/01/2022 16:26

@snappy42

As a teacher, is is not just our responsibility to look after the child's educational needs, but also their emotional and physical needs too, alongside their well being. I would have, and have been more than happy to give children reminders who are not drinking throughout the day; especially if this is causing problems for the child. Children need to drink to be able to focus, concentrate and function!!! It is never the case of having to remind every child all day, quite often just the odd one or two.
Thank you for this post which adds balance, and for reading my posts saying just the odd reminder is all I was asking for (not every child all day every day) You sound like a brilliant teacher Smile
OP posts:
Original poster
LondonGrimmer · 18/01/2022 16:26

For those who don't know about this feature...

To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?
OP posts:
liveforsummer · 18/01/2022 17:12

Thank you for this post which adds balance, and for reading my posts saying just the odd reminder is all I was asking for (not every child all day every day) You sound like a brilliant teacher

Do you actually know the teacher isn't doing this though? I imagine most do and if it's routine to take your bottle out and place it somewhere this will likely be regularly prompted too. I'd not take your sons word that she isn't if you are quizzing him (or any dc that age) not would I expect him to necessarily admit if he was not drinking in order to avoid the toilets - This is something we are aware of with some dc but none of them would openly say so, sometimes it's something they don't consciously realise either.

Whammyyammy · 18/01/2022 17:14

I thought a teachers role, was, well, to teach?

halulat · 18/01/2022 18:28

Are you sure she hasn't reminded hiM quietly? It's possible that she has but he hasn't wanted it at that point .

Hemingwayzcatz · 18/01/2022 18:41

Maybe in reception I’d understand this but year 3? Definitely old enough at 8 years old to get a drink if they need one.

DolphinFC · 18/01/2022 20:35

www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/family/mums-upset-teacher-doesnt-ensure-25975750.amp

Daily Mirror has been following this thread.

RedHelenB · 19/01/2022 07:41

Drinking at breakfast and lunch should be enough. I wouldn't expect to remind a 7 year old to drink .

Swipe left for the next trending thread