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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

352 replies

LondonGrimmer · 17/01/2022 16:38

Happy to be told otherwise. Child is in year 3. Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps. Transpires his full water bottle was still in his backpack so hadn't drank all day again (8.45 - 3.15) and he doesn't have a drink at lunch time either. He's an introvert who struggles with anxiety at times if that makes any difference.

Yes I have tried to explain to him the importance of staying hydrated and tell him he should try really hard to remember. I emailed the teacher last year and she said she'll try and remember to remind him (there are 23 kids in the class and one TA so I know they have their hands full).

Just frustrated and not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

YABU - your child is 7 or 8 and fully responsible for taking his water bottle out each day and remembering to drink.

YANBU - the teacher/TA should be helping more.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 17/01/2022 22:51

Op I'd give it in his hands to carry, and get him to have a drink just as he goes in

You said the cups in the hall are dirty? Do they not have water at lunch on the tables?

BatshitBanshee · 17/01/2022 23:02

The cups being dirty is….sorry just silly. As if cups in school are dirty! And if somehow they are, fgs raise it with the school!

Sorry, yes to this as well actually. If both DC are saying this, and not drinking enough is a problem for your child, have you raised the dirty cups with the school?! I'd be more peeved my kids are getting dirty cups that a teacher not standing over my child telling him to drink.

SmellyOldOwls · 17/01/2022 23:50

@mogschristmascalamity

Yabu but i struggle with the same problem with DD so completely understand.

People are forgetting in the olden days we had water fountains in the playground and the corridors inside.

But you are forgetting that it was unsafe to drink from the water fountains because someone would inevitably push your face into the water Grin
mycatisannoying · 18/01/2022 00:08

YABU.

RockinHorseShit · 18/01/2022 01:14

yes not wanting to use the toilet during the day was a big part of it, but he's overcome that mostly now.

He hasn't overcome it at all, he's doing what my own DDs eventually owned up to doing at a similar age, for the same reasons
He isn't drinking, so he won't need the toilet, so doesn't have to ask to go.

Does he have a toilet pass? This is a card that allows him to just get up & go & flash it at the teacher on his way out.
Speak to his teacher, it will probably need an appointment with the SENCO to organise it & id suggest talking to his GP too, explain what is happening, how he's making himself ill as he's too anxious to ask to go to the toilet & yiu need to ask the school fir a toilet pass to easy his anxiety over drinking & going to the toilet.

Our GP wrote a 3 lined letter just saying she supported DDs need for a toilet pass & DD got one. She could also use it if she felt dizzy or overwhelmed. It made a huge difference to her & solved the drinking problem with a few chats too

Nat6999 · 18/01/2022 01:26

I had the same problem with ds at primary school. He is ASD & would go all day without drinking resulting in him coming home dehydrated, having headaches & contributing to his constipation which had resulted in him being admitted to hospital a couple of times. He wouldn't drink plain water due to sensory issues & the headteacher refused to allow him to have flavoured water until I involved the Autism Team from the education department.

PixieLaLa · 18/01/2022 02:09

Wow, just wow.
Tell your child to drink their water then! How an earth can you blame this on a teacher is beyond ridiculous 🙄

ThirdElephant · 18/01/2022 06:28

Yeah, if the issue is not liking water, just give him squash in an opaque bottle. Most teachers don't care, as long as it doesn't get spilt and isn't visible to the other kids.

SweetPotatoDumpling · 18/01/2022 06:49

Just to add to the YABU here...if I were to count the water bottles next to my sink every morning, there would be around 45 🤷‍♀️ So that wouldn't help me one jot 🤦‍♀️

I definitely remind my class to have a drink at playtime and to collect their bottles at lunch. Most of them don't bother 🤷‍♀️ What more can I do OP?

If they are thirst during the day, they just go and get their bottle I assume...I don't police it otherwise. I just presume that they are aware of their need to drink.

Missey85 · 18/01/2022 06:52

YABU its not the teachers job they have more important things to do your the parent its your job to teach your child to drink water if their thirsty

cherrypie66 · 18/01/2022 06:52

Put the drink in his lunch box so it's there at lunchtime

Brindle88 · 18/01/2022 06:59

My DS with Autism and dyspraxia often does not recognise when he needs to drink. The only thing that works is Ribena as he will drink it just for the taste. I’ve always sent him in with some in a bottle that isn’t see through as they are only supposed to have water.

trickytimes · 18/01/2022 07:08

I don’t think YABU. Lack of drinking contributes to bed wetting. They need to drink a lot during the day to keep their bladder increased/stretched. We had a huge problem with this exact same thing. In the end the teacher had all the water bottles out in the side and at the end of each lesson had a water break for a couple of minutes. It can be done. Speak to the head about your concerns.

RobotValkyrie · 18/01/2022 07:19

YANBU. This child's struggles strongly suggest some kind of undiagnosed SEN. The school is failing in its duty of care. If the teacher doesn't help, the issue should be raised with the SENCO. This is about more than just staying hydrated.

Oneforthemoneytwo · 18/01/2022 07:25

They really don’t need to be drinking through the day in the middle of winter

liveforsummer · 18/01/2022 07:32

Every away day and camp we tell them to fill their water bottles in the morning tell them we expect it to be drunk by lunch.

Dd doesn't drink much or sometimes anything early in the day. I'd be pretty annoyed if you were forcing her to drink an entire bottle, it would make her feel unwell. She's knows what she's thirsty and when she's not. I know someone that does this with her Dd though and it's created a real issue around drinking now.

Op of your son is anxious around cleanliness are you sure he's eating enough. That's more likely to cause stomach cramps (especially at this time of year but would possibly be alleviated by a drink as well as food) re the cups ours in school are pretty shiny plastic when they are new. They dull over time due to the industrial dishwasher and I guess could be perceived by some as dirty if looking for something when actually it's because they are incredibly well cleaned

mogsrus · 18/01/2022 07:38

We had milk at playtime, a drink at lunch,& that was it! What’s with this drinking all day? what’s changed here, I don’t understand.

Snowiscold · 18/01/2022 07:43

@ldontWanna

This "back in my day" thing is irrelevant.

Back in my day there were no school lunches and barely anyone had packed lunches, and even then it would be a croissant or some type of cakey thing.

Does that mean that you'd be ok with no snack or lunch for kids too?

School lunches were completely normal back in my day - and I was born in the 60s. So were packed lunches. Although lots of children did go home for lunch too. Snacks weren’t normal at school. The emphasis on snacks and constant drinking has done children no favours at all.
ufucoffee · 18/01/2022 07:59

@mogsrus

We had milk at playtime, a drink at lunch,& that was it! What’s with this drinking all day? what’s changed here, I don’t understand.
We didn't have milk at break time. Just a drink with school dinner. And that was that.
ittakes2 · 18/01/2022 08:05

Draw lines on his water bottle and reward him if he passes certain lines.

FazeleysRoyale · 18/01/2022 08:05

Would your DC eat juicy things in his packed lunch ?

Grapes, melon chunks, cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, small satsumas (easy peelers type), any of these would contain plenty of water and not be too fiddly to eat from a small plastic box.

Sirzy · 18/01/2022 08:06

This falls into the you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink scenario.

Ds has full time 1-1 and some days he still drinks hardly anything at school even when reminding he will have the smallest sip and say he is done.

It’s even harder when it’s relying on the class teacher/TA

Mellowyellow222 · 18/01/2022 08:08

This child does need to see a doctor.

He will have a drink at home in the morning. Food contains water and he eats during the day.

He shouldn’t be physically differing the way he is.

Howshouldibehave · 18/01/2022 08:11

OP, your voting options and your post title are very different!

  1. the teacher/TA should be helping more.
  1. To think it's primary school teacher's responsibility to ensure children drink during the day?

The word ‘Responsibility’, suggests blame if the child doesn’t drink enough!

I think, that if the teacher has timetabled slots for people to have a drink plus the one lunchtime, then that is plenty.

If there are further medical needs, that is different. Is there a medical care place? Is the GP aware?

elelel · 18/01/2022 08:19

Frequently comes out pale, lethargic and today with stomach cramps.

This is a extreme reaction to not having a drink for a few hours. I would be seeking medical advice to see if there is any underlying cause I think.

He has school dinners. Doesn't drink the water in the hall as he and his brother say the cups are always dirty.

Send him to packed lunches? A drink in his lunch bag - I think you have to take as much responsibility for him drinking as you can