To leave baby alone in the car?

[irishfarmer]

Please don't slate me for this!

I am currently pregnant with DC no 1. Is it safe/ normal to leave a baby alone in a car while going into the shop? Not for long, e.g. if you have filled with car with diesel and are going into pay? Or you've stopped at the local shop to go in for milk and bread, baby is asleep and you won't be longer than 5 mins. I'm not talking about stopping off at the shopping centre and going in for an hour.

My DH said he doesn't think so. I said yes. I minded nieces/ nephews all my life and when I learnt to drive I often had to bring them places. I remember leaving them in the car, really at any age to go into the shop for 2 mins. The car was locked and this was over 10 years ago so things might have changed. In fact I remember them being left outside in cars by their own parent if they were asleep when visiting the home house. Granted I grew up in a cul-de-sac which is very quiet and have known all of those neighbours my entire life.

Honestly what is the done thing these days? If it makes a difference I live now outside a small town (approx 1,500 ppl) it is a farming/ agricultural community.

I did, oldest is 26, youngest is 13. Baby granddaughter aged 1. Still do it. Lock the car up, always in view.

Not even when they are older, until old enough to be left safely: www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/4156429.lucky-escape-car-careers-hill-child-releases-handbrake

Definitely not with a baby. There are loads of things that could happen: someone else crashes into your car. Car catches fire. Car doors won't open when you return. Child is sick and chokes. Child overheats. Car stolen. Something happens to you and nobody knows child is in a car. Most are fairly unlikely but probably have happened, or, if not, chances are not 0.

@SpiderinaWingMirror

I did, oldest is 26, youngest is 13. Baby granddaughter aged 1. Still do it. Lock the car up, always in view.

Yep great until the keys don't work, or your child is sick, or your child manages to climb out of their seat and fiddle with the handbrake.

Petrol station - yes, absolutely. I don't know anyone who takes their babies into the shop. They're far safer locked in the car than being dragged across a forecourt.

Any other shop? No, absolutely not.

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

Petrol station - yes, absolutely. I don't know anyone who takes their babies into the shop. They're far safer locked in the car than being dragged across a forecourt.

Any other shop? No, absolutely not.

Why 'dragged'? And how is it not safe to carry your baby in with you to pay?

No logic to this.

A garage is not any different to a shop if you can see your child from the window.

Why do you think it is?

Never known a petrol station to be on a incline!

I forgot to put the handbrake on in a car park today (sans children ) and was thanking my lucky stars that it was so flat and the car stayed put

Mumsnet is so weird about children in cars. In my experience people in real life don’t think this way. Obviously I understand there are risks and some awful things have happened to people but you’ve got to use your common sense! I remember a thread a while back by a woman who’d been told off (by a stranger) for leaving her toddler strapped in the car seat while she crossed over a busy road and dropped older child at school entrance 10m away. Everyone seemed to think she was some kind of sociopath and it would be far safer to be wrangling her toddler twice across the busy road with cars coming and going continuously and making it more difficult to hold her older child’s hand,! to deposit her child 10 metres away. To me the far safer option there is to leave your toddler strapped in and nip across the road for 20 seconds. What people were fixating on is that something could happen to the car in that 20 seconds when you’re not in it but the far more likely and common danger in that scenario is DC getting hit by a car, crossing a busy road. It is vanishingly rare for cars to spontaneously combust or for someone to somehow see and use a 20 second window of opportunity to steal a baby. It must depend on the area but certainly at my dc school everyone leaves babies sleeping, toddlers strapped in if they’re close to the entrance and just running across when kids come out. Obviously not if they are going to be out of sight or if you’re going to be a bit longer but nipping in to pay for petrol is completely normal and expected behaviour. Honestly I don’t understand what people mean when they say they never leave baby in the car. Genuine question but do you never need to run back into the house after baby’s already strapped in to grab something you’ve forgotten or you see a parcel sitting or the cat wants in or you want to check you’ve turned the straighteners off? Or if you’re just picking something up or dropping something off at someone’s house? This happens to me about 5 times a day. I can’t imagine all the strapping in and out people must be doing.

Why 'dragged'? And how is it not safe to carry your baby in with you to pay?

I said dragged because it's totally unnecessary to take your baby in with you. And I didn't say it wasn't safe, I said it's safer to leave them in the car as they're not being exposed to all the fumes, there's no risk of you slipping on spills and dropping them etc.

A garage is not any different to a shop if you can see your child from the window. Why do you think it is?

IMO it's very different. If you're going to pay for petrol, you go in, pay and leave - the queue is always by the window so you're never leaving your car and baby out of your sight.

However, if you're going to any other shop, you have to go in and away from the window/door to do your shopping, which means you leave your car out of your sight. I don't know any convenience shops outside of petrol stations where you can do all your shopping without turning your back on your vehicle.

A lovely story for you all (I am a bit older than most of MN).

DM, in the old days, as was normal, left me in my pram outside the shops, you couldn't take prams in, and there was always a line of babies outside.

Got her shopping, and went home. Half an hour later, realised she had left me there by mistake!! She knew of another mum who had once taken the wrong baby home.

Things were so much more relaxed back then .

@AsYouWishButtercup

Never known a petrol station to be on a incline!

I forgot to put the handbrake on in a car park today (sans children ) and was thanking my lucky stars that it was so flat and the car stayed put

TBF, one of ours is! There are slopes in and out of it, so if the handbrake failed and your car wasn't in gear, you'd roll either backwards or forwards into traffic.

I'd still leave my baby/child in the car though!

Absolutely not to a shop but possibly a petrol station.
I went to my local supermarket a few months ago and was gobsmacked when I pulled in to the childbay to notice the car next to me had a young sleeping baby in the back, windows cracked and the keys still left in the ignition. I stayed next to the car for a good 10 mins and nobody came back. I thought about reporting it to to security but my husband told me not to get involved.
I don't know why people would take such risks.

@BigWoollyJumpers

A lovely story for you all (I am a bit older than most of MN).

DM, in the old days, as was normal, left me in my pram outside the shops, you couldn't take prams in, and there was always a line of babies outside.

Got her shopping, and went home. Half an hour later, realised she had left me there by mistake!! She knew of another mum who had once taken the wrong baby home.

Things were so much more relaxed back then .

My fire d’s mum left her outside of Argos in the 80’s and only realised when she got home and was sat down with a cuppa and slice of cake! Friend was there gurgling away in the Same place when she returned

@NoRaceInThisHorse

Not even when they are older, until old enough to be left safely: www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/4156429.lucky-escape-car-careers-hill-child-releases-handbrake

Definitely not with a baby. There are loads of things that could happen: someone else crashes into your car. Car catches fire. Car doors won't open when you return. Child is sick and chokes. Child overheats. Car stolen. Something happens to you and nobody knows child is in a car. Most are fairly unlikely but probably have happened, or, if not, chances are not 0.

And what about the risks of taking the baby into the shop? Lorry ploughs into shopfront, burglar attacks people at random in shop, fire breaks out and shop spontaneously combusts, a tin of beans falls off a shelf and onto your babies head. All unlikely scenarios but not impossible!

Not a chance. Early 70s my mam left me outside a shop in a pram whilst she went in quick. It wasn't till she walked the 15minutes home that she realised she was missing something, me!

SmellyOldOwls the baby is with you, though. So in the event of them needing you, you are there and can act.
I would maybe leave a baby in a car at a patrol station to pay. I wouldn't leave an older, mobile child because they are more likely to get out of the car, climb into front seat, mess around etc!

@SnoopyLovesLucy

I’ve seen about a dozen car crashes but people still drive their kids about every day. Also what if you need petroleum when your child is in the car? Or what if they’re always with you, such as single parents of newborns?

@AsYouWishButtercup Does it really need spelling out?

Car crashes are accidents. There will be an adult in the car too.
Leaving your child alone in the car is a choice.
And you organise yourself so that you fill up when your baby is not with you. Most cars can take enough fuel for 350 miles.

And if you can't ever be in the car alone to fill it up, you take your child in with you when you pay or pay at a pump. But it's highly unlikely that a parent, even a single one, will never either have an adult passenger in the car, or leave their baby with someone else for a short amount of time.

I am shocked you can't see the difference or that you appear to defend leaving a child alone.

It's a choice to take your baby for a drive, to strap her into that car. It's an accident if you all get crushed by a passing lorry.

It's a choice to leave your baby in the car while you pay for gas. It's an accident when the car blows up with the baby in it.

It's a choice when you bring your baby into pay, it's a accident when it catches on fire or some hopped up teen takes everyone hostage.

The risk of a baby in the car while you pay for fuel is much smaller than many other things that you make the choice to do, including driving with the baby in the car at all.

Car crashes are accidents. There will be an adult in the car too.

Well that’s ok then because we know when parents are in a car crash they automatically survive it every time by virtue of being a parent 🤣 no parent ever also got injured and relied on emergency services to rescue their baby. Thank goodness

@StarsAreWishes
🤣🤣 It was actually my rottweiller, she sits in the front seat, secured with the airbag off so she can't get to DS. Added benefit of deterring anyone from thinking they can just hop in and drive off.

Although. I have had people just stand there laughing while their dog jumps into my car!

@NoRaceInThisHorse

Not even when they are older, until old enough to be left safely: www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/4156429.lucky-escape-car-careers-hill-child-releases-handbrake

Definitely not with a baby. There are loads of things that could happen: someone else crashes into your car. Car catches fire. Car doors won't open when you return. Child is sick and chokes. Child overheats. Car stolen. Something happens to you and nobody knows child is in a car. Most are fairly unlikely but probably have happened, or, if not, chances are not 0.

So what happens when you have a teen in the car when you pay for petrol? Do you insist they come with you while you pay? The car might still burst into flames. Or do teen children matter less than babies? And if you worry about your child choking in the car in a secure carseat, do you watch over them every second of the night? Why are they more likely to choke while sleeping in the car than sleeping in a cot? This logic doesn't really make sense... and as other people have pointed out, these scenarios are probably far less likely than you slipping on the forecourt with baby in arms or you being knocked over on your way to pay.

I wouldn't do this. Petrol pump only if it's pay at pump. Otherwise I'd always put DC in the pram and take him with me .

@tokyo1

I wouldn't do this. Petrol pump only if it's pay at pump. Otherwise I'd always put DC in the pram and take him with me .

Do you always have your pram with you? I don't.

@Socialcarenope yep! The pram lives in my car boot.

[quote tokyo1]@Socialcarenope yep! The pram lives in my car boot. [/quote]
Not a good idea, I've had friends who have had cars stolen and then they're without car AND pram and to make matters worse, the car insurance doesn't cover the pram!

@irishfarmer

Thanks for the responses and not jumping down my throat that I will be an awful mother!

No where in town has pay at the pump but you would very easily be able to see the car the full time while paying in the one I always go to. It should be manageable to fill up though when I don't have the baby.

I doubt it will even be much of an issue, I get Tesco delivery and hardly ever have to go to the shop mid week for anything else, I can just ask DH to stop on the way home.

I absolutely remember doing that with my daughters everyone did. Then suddenly it changed and it was no longer acceptable. Definitely a no now

petrol station possibly/yes (lock car up)
shop never