To be considering rehoming my dog?

[GuiltRiddenDilema]

Don’t want to go into too much detail but she’s a 3 year old Dobermann. Had her since 8 weeks old. Was conned by the breeder (the adult dobies I met were not her parents, her parents it turns out … were too aggressive to meet). I did everything by the book, obedience classes, socialisation classes … she just got more and more aggressive. I got a 1-1 trainer … didn’t help. Tried a different 1-1 trainer - helped in the short term but soon went backwards, tried behaviourist who said the dog was fear aggressive and would never be able to be around other dogs or children. I travelled across the country with her for a Dobermann expert who said she’s bright as a button but will always be unpredictable and temperamental.
The area we live in is the worst possible area for her temperament. Lots of offlead dogs running around, lots of small children - I’m terrified she will escape the garden or something. I can’t walk her without being constantly on edge that she’ll hurt someone/something.
I’ve tried for 2.5 years to get her through this but she’s just the same as she always was. We have good days and bad days. I train her daily, I’ve put so much time and money into her training and see nothing for it.

Problem is I love the dog dearly and she’s obsessed with me. The guilt is eating away at me. In the meantime I’m terrified and alienating all the human relationships I have as nobody will come to my house anymore. I can’t even have my grandchild over.
She needs an experienced owner, one that can actually give her some kind of a life.
I’d contact a breed specific rescue and keep her until they could find a suitable experienced owner. I don’t want her going into kennels and I’m not interested in money. I just want to save her 😢

I just don’t know what to do anymore. My own adult children will no longer visit 😔

I am so glad the majority on here are saying she should be PTS. So often these threads are full of people advocating rehoming and no-kill rescues and such like, when actually PTS is the most humane and responsible option.

To the PP who said that if their family couldn’t visit then so be it, that is probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read on here. So basically you would be prepared to give up your family, have them go NC with you and all for the sake of a dog who will be dead in ten years time anyway. Okayyyy.

OP you say that you couldn’t put her to sleep. If you love her then you owe it to her to do the best by her. Or would you rather wait until she bites or even kills someone, possibly even you, and she’s seized by the authorities and destroyed without you even being allowed to be there?

If you love this dog then you will do the right thing by her. One of the things we can do as dog owners is to make the right decisions for our animals, at the right time.

Mumsnet posters love to go on and on about these breed specific rescues who have loads of resources to help dogs like the op, ie very experienced homes who want an unpredictable and aggressive dobermann. I bet much doubt that these kinds of specialist homes are anywhere near as plentiful as people on mn would suggest.

There might be plenty of people out there who would say they are all those things but that's quite a risk to take.

My dbil had an unpredictable mastiff. It went for, and almost bit a toddler unprovoked. He rehomed it to people who said they were experienced and they promised faithfully that it would never come into contact with children. Within a couple of weeks, the dog bit a visiting child on the face in its new home. Rehomed again. God knows where it is now or how many people it's bitten since. Bil should have done the responsible thing and put it down.

As for the advice to let this reactive aggressive dog off the lead with other dogs ... God give me strength?!?! Worst advice ever!

I’ve worked in an animal rescue centre for 10 years and I promise we have rehomed dogs a lot worse than your girl sounds! The fact that she is gentle and affectionate with you is an excellent sign. It means a home with a single adult who has no children/grandchildren or other regular visitors and who loves rurally would be ideal for her.

Most rescues should allow for an agreement where the dog can be returned to you if they deem her unable to be rehomed. What you might struggle with is getting them to allow you to keep her until a suitable home is found. They’ll want to assess her closely and work with her daily. Her new owner will need to meet her at the rescue many times in order to build a good enough relationship to take her home. Unless you happen to love very close to a Doberman specific rescue and could take her to meet then every day, which is unlikely

If her aggression is caused by fear she must be very frightened and unhappy nearly all the time. That's no life for her and rehoming her will probably make her worse. I think putting her to sleep is the kindest thing.

I had a collie from a rescue who had (undisclosed) fear aggression. I managed him for years but he finally did some severe physical damage to someone with no warning and I couldn't risk it happening again.

I loved him, he was my shadow and he trusted me 100% and for that reason it was me that held him as he was put to sleep. There was no future better than that for him.

One of my cousins trains security dogs. He says the most important quality in a security or guard dog is a) confidence and b) predictability, so the handler knows the dog will only bite when commanded to.

You want to contact a dog rescue that is also a sanctuary for dogs that cannot be adopted

@RedMozzieYellowMozzie

You've consulted experts who say she's unstable and unpredictable. You can't pass that on to someone else to deal with - what if she attacked and hurt someone? The right decision would be to have her pts. A trip to the vets with her loving owner is far preferable to months of upheaval in her life which will probably lead to the same ultimate end anyway

I agree with every word of this. Please do this OP. You know that you have done everything possible for your dog and couldn't have been more responsible and loving. Having her PTS would be a continuation of this responsibility and care, sad though it is, it really is the right thing to do, for yourself, for your family and even for your dog.

Your dog would be extremely distressed to be separated from you, if you sent her to a rescue or rehomed her, and the chance of her biting sounds like it would be 100% by the sound of it. For everyone's sake you have to make that sad, final and totally responsible decision and have her PTS.

I’m so sorry for you OP

I would consult a breed specific place and if not I would pts. Neither of you are having much quality of life.

@NowEvenBetter you need to think before telling a stranger on the internet to have their animal killed based on the small amount of information you have.

I am telling them to contact a rehoming charity that specializes in their dog breed so that they can make the right decision. I have no doubt that this charity will know more than you do. The fact you are advising the owner not to bother with this tells me everything I need to know about you.

@NowEvenBetter I truly hope you are not a dog owner, you don't deserve to be one.

@Naughtypenguin

You want to contact a dog rescue that is also a sanctuary for dogs that cannot be adopted

What sort of quality of life do dogs actually have in these sanctuaries? They dont really sound ideal for an aggressive, reactive dog that wants a secure relationship with one person and no other people/dogs around.

I was in your position earlier this year OP. We did absolutely everything right and it just didn't work. It ruined our lives for 10 miserable months. We finally rehomed him through a breed specific rescue and it was the best thing we could have done.

[quote anditgoesonandon]@NowEvenBetter I truly hope you are not a dog owner, you don't deserve to be one.[/quote]
What does a person have to do to 'deserve' to own a dog?

If she's aggressive
Cannot be around children
Cannot be around other dogs

The kindest thing would be having her pts

[quote anditgoesonandon]@NowEvenBetter you need to think before telling a stranger on the internet to have their animal killed based on the small amount of information you have.

I am telling them to contact a rehoming charity that specializes in their dog breed so that they can make the right decision. I have no doubt that this charity will know more than you do. The fact you are advising the owner not to bother with this tells me everything I need to know about you. [/quote]
But at what point would it be kindest to put the dog to sleep? Before it’s hurt someone or after?

I really think rehoming is a last resort, but this really is the time. You obviously have done lots for her and been an amazing owner but I would rehome carefully as you suggest and in turn rehome a safe family dog.

Rehoming the dog just passes on the problem of an aggressive large dog. It is really irresponsible and a cop out - basically you are too scared to walk it in case you are there when it attacks someone but are happy to pass the problem on and let it potentially attack someone in the future.

You need to speak to your vet and see what the options are but I think a proper conversation with someone qualified about whether it needs to be PTS is the responsible course.

@LuckySantangelo35 this decision should be made by a reputable rehoming charity who deal with the breed regularly. If you don't think it's worth the charity assessing the dog and that it needs to have it's life ended without that assessment then I find that incredibly worrying.

@Daenerys77 seriously? they need to be an animal lover, that has the animal's best interest at heart. Anyone who feels a dog that isn't perfect should have it's life ended without experts from a charity making their own assessment, don't deserve to own a dog.

@user2908143823142536475859708

If she's aggressive Cannot be around children Cannot be around other dogs

The kindest thing would be having her pts

This. It’s very very sad but this is the solution to this sad problem.

Rebuild your human friendships. Lots of love to you.

@NowEvenBetter OP has said they are not killing the dog. They have asked about rehoming. Yes I do believe OP will speak to a charity and discuss the next step, do you know why because I read what they said!

I would have her PTS. You have done everything you can. It’s not fair on the dog.

I'm sorry that you are in such an awful situation due to greedy inexperienced breeders. If you rehome her, she remain the same dog with the same risky temperament. Children and other dogs would still be at risk.
There have been so many children that have died or been seriously injured because of dangerous dogs. Other peoples beloved dogs have also had to be PTS because of injuries caused to them.
I'd seriously consider PTS as an option because of all of this. I realise you love her but either way she'll not be with you anyway. Imagine how you would feel if a child died. You know that she's dangerous (just going by what you've said) and its up to you to deal responsibly with this. So sorry to say this as its hard losing a pet. Better now than once damage has been done.