To be considering rehoming my dog?

[GuiltRiddenDilema]

Don’t want to go into too much detail but she’s a 3 year old Dobermann. Had her since 8 weeks old. Was conned by the breeder (the adult dobies I met were not her parents, her parents it turns out … were too aggressive to meet). I did everything by the book, obedience classes, socialisation classes … she just got more and more aggressive. I got a 1-1 trainer … didn’t help. Tried a different 1-1 trainer - helped in the short term but soon went backwards, tried behaviourist who said the dog was fear aggressive and would never be able to be around other dogs or children. I travelled across the country with her for a Dobermann expert who said she’s bright as a button but will always be unpredictable and temperamental.
The area we live in is the worst possible area for her temperament. Lots of offlead dogs running around, lots of small children - I’m terrified she will escape the garden or something. I can’t walk her without being constantly on edge that she’ll hurt someone/something.
I’ve tried for 2.5 years to get her through this but she’s just the same as she always was. We have good days and bad days. I train her daily, I’ve put so much time and money into her training and see nothing for it.

Problem is I love the dog dearly and she’s obsessed with me. The guilt is eating away at me. In the meantime I’m terrified and alienating all the human relationships I have as nobody will come to my house anymore. I can’t even have my grandchild over.
She needs an experienced owner, one that can actually give her some kind of a life.
I’d contact a breed specific rescue and keep her until they could find a suitable experienced owner. I don’t want her going into kennels and I’m not interested in money. I just want to save her 😢

I just don’t know what to do anymore. My own adult children will no longer visit 😔

Unlike the breeders, you now have to be responsible for this situation. If the dog is not safe to be around, constantly in a state of fear (which does not make for a happy dog), and cannot be trained, there is sadly only one option.

Certainly discuss options with a breed specific rescue as they have almost certainly come across this situation before. You say you live in the worst possible area for her - maybe a new home somewhere quieter will be worth a try. But a fear aggressive dog is a ticking time bomb which will eventually cause someone or something harm.

You've consulted experts who say she's unstable and unpredictable. You can't pass that on to someone else to deal with - what if she attacked and hurt someone? The right decision would be to have her pts. A trip to the vets with her loving owner is far preferable to months of upheaval in her life which will probably lead to the same ultimate end anyway

@Spud1130

Personally I'd have her put to sleep. Living a life so stressed isn't be good for her, and I couldn't personally ever rehome a dog and not know what happens. Yoube tried several interventions and unfortunately, some dogs just aren't wired right. I had one like this although the only reason he was manageable was because he was small (under 10kg). There are many fates far worse than a humane death

I agree with this. An aggressive dog won't be rehomed.

You've tried everything.

I'd have her put down.

Please report the breeders.

I think you unfortunately you may have to go for the pts option. The vets should be able to make a home visit and bring a vet nurse as well if you have to choose this option

I had a dog with the same temperament, different breed to you. I was very anxious and was becoming isolated. I spoke to my vet for advice and was advised that rehoming would be too risky. I was advised to put my 2 year old girl to sleep. With a very heavy heart that’s what I did. I had to put the safety of people first. I do feel guilty but I don’t regret the decision.

You sound a lovely, caring owner but your daughter and grandchild need to take precedence

If she's that aggressive, do the right thing and pts. Rehoming her is passing the buck onto someone else.

I'm so sorry. What a horrible situation to be in.

I am in the PTS camp. Thinking of Adam Watts who was very experienced and was killed by a dog he rescued. Admittedly that dog had been abused and yours hasn't, but it is an aggressive dog who will be put into a very stressful situation by moving homes.

The best thing for the dog IMO is being PTS in your arms. That's the hardest option for you, but I believe the kindest for the dog. Those dog breeders should be prosecuted. The dog cannot change its nature and it's not safe for anyone.

Anyone know if I could set up an agreement with the rescue that if things didn’t work out with new owners she’d come back to me?

I wrote my previous post before seeing the above. How irresponsible of you.

An agreement like what? Like they report you to police when she hurts a child or kills someone’s pet?

Honestly, if there are rescues to take in a Doberman with such problems on the idea that love and a kind owner will get a dog changed when so much experienced trainers couldn’t , they should be banned from providing dogs to families.

What if your dog ends up with the town’s tug? Perfect candidate isn’t it? Looks intimidating, is unpredictable and can kill just by letting her off leash. Wonderful!

Keep her with you if you can’t PTS, you can just shove it to a well intentioned person knowing what you do.

Sounds like she can't stay with you. But also that you are just at the beginning of looking into your other options - find specialists who can help you look at what else is possible. Research the right shelter etc with as much commitment as you have put into trying to solve it so you can keep her. And once you have found the right people put your trust in them and follow their advice.

@mayblossominapril

I think you unfortunately you may have to go for the pts option. The vets should be able to make a home visit and bring a vet nurse as well if you have to choose this option

We had our old beloved dog PTS (Terminal illness) and the home visit was so much better for the dog- Who disliked the vets. It was heartbreaking, but so different to having it performed at the surgery. Well worth the extra cost.

TBH, I wouldn't re-home her - awful as it is, I would euthanise.

I wouldn't dare take the risk that she might end up with someone who also couldn't;t cope, and would just pass her on, and that this would happen time and time again, with her becoming more anxious and unpredictable with every home, or even that she would get someone who tried really hard with her, but she ended up attacking someone - particularly a child - or even another dog.

Aggression is very hard to train out, particularly fear aggression - you don't know what will prompt an aggressive response and it cn be completely unpredictable.

Sorry OP - Really think you need to let her go. (I've had to do this with a fear aggressive dog, too, and it was horrible - a young, healthy beautiful dog, fabulous in the house and with family, but totally unreliable anywhere else, with strangers or with other dogs. i really sympathise - it's a bliddy awful decision to have to make)

I know it's hard to hear but if she's had so much intervention and you've been politely told by professionals she's always going to be unpredictably temperamental, she's not likely to change.

Whilst some kennels do try to re-home and rehabilitate, they've only got finite resources.

You've got to consider her quality of life.

Living in a constant state of fear is no life at all. And love sometimes means making hard choices for our pets to protect them. Even if that means PTS while they're still "healthy".

It's better a week too early than a day too late, and all that.

I know you said you don't think you could do it, but if you rehome her, and she bites someone, you've just passed the buck on to someone else. Someone who won't love her like you do, and won't bring her any comfort.

But ultimately you can't shield her from every one and every thing forever.

She sounds really unstable, and in a world where we don't understand the whys the how's the what's and the where's of a dog's psyche then the kindest thing to do is to PTS imo.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda

Sorry - I didn't read down and hadn't realised that you'd effectively advised the same as me.

@zoomies2021

Sounds like she can't stay with you. But also that you are just at the beginning of looking into your other options - find specialists who can help you look at what else is possible. Research the right shelter etc with as much commitment as you have put into trying to solve it so you can keep her. And once you have found the right people put your trust in them and follow their advice.

She is not at the beginning… she has been to many trainers around the country including Doberman specialist ones who have told her this dog’s aggressiveness cannot be reigned.

I'm so sorry you're in this position OP.

As you say, you've tried everything and been responsible but this dog can't be trained.

I'd pts and say goodbye. She has the potential to hurt and kill, rehoming will stress her out. Don't have that on your conscience.

Have her PTS, don't risk her ending up as a junkyard dog.
I wish euthanasia hadn't been so demonised. Sometimes its not the ideal outcome, but the most realistic.

@IllManneredBitch

You worry that the dog will escape the garden and attack a small child. The dog makes your house too unsafe for your family to visit. But the thing that you'd feel guilty about is putting it to sleep? You have an animal capable of killing someone and with an unstable and aggressive temperament that is genetic and can't be improved through training. Taking it to the vet and having it humanely euthanised is the least awful of all the options.

This.

You sound like a caring and responsible dog owner but the right thing to do would be to pts.
You can't continue to live like this and it would be the kindest option for the dog. flowers

Speak to one of the specialist Dobermann rescue centres.

Someone I used to work with used to adopt problem Dobies so there is a chance that her life can be turned around.

@GoodnightGrandma

Sometimes euthanasia is the kindest thing for the dog.

I think this too. If you pass her on you risk her being used as a fighting dog or something.

If she's only three now then you're likely going to be spending your grandchildren's childhood prioritising her over them if you keep her.

You won't get that time back, when they're grown they're grown. Is it worth missing out on a relationship with your grandchildren because you cannot provide a safe environment because of an aggressive pet?

If it was me and she was as sweet and loving, loyal and affectionate (with me) as you say she is then I'd be prepared to make what ever personal sacrifices are necessary to keep her, and if that means friends and family no longer come round then so be it, you can still go out and visit them.

As far as being aggressive with other dogs is concerned have you had chance to see how she interacts with other dogs when she's off the lead? Dogs are often far more insecure and reactive when they're on the lead than when off it.

If you care for your dog then have her pts in her own home and you next to her. Dont put her at through the strain of rehoming when it's so unlikely to result in a good outcome.

@Yants and where do you suggest the OP source these other dogs for hers to experiment on? Or do you think she should just take her to the local park and give it a go?