To be considering rehoming my dog?

[GuiltRiddenDilema]

Don’t want to go into too much detail but she’s a 3 year old Dobermann. Had her since 8 weeks old. Was conned by the breeder (the adult dobies I met were not her parents, her parents it turns out … were too aggressive to meet). I did everything by the book, obedience classes, socialisation classes … she just got more and more aggressive. I got a 1-1 trainer … didn’t help. Tried a different 1-1 trainer - helped in the short term but soon went backwards, tried behaviourist who said the dog was fear aggressive and would never be able to be around other dogs or children. I travelled across the country with her for a Dobermann expert who said she’s bright as a button but will always be unpredictable and temperamental.
The area we live in is the worst possible area for her temperament. Lots of offlead dogs running around, lots of small children - I’m terrified she will escape the garden or something. I can’t walk her without being constantly on edge that she’ll hurt someone/something.
I’ve tried for 2.5 years to get her through this but she’s just the same as she always was. We have good days and bad days. I train her daily, I’ve put so much time and money into her training and see nothing for it.

Problem is I love the dog dearly and she’s obsessed with me. The guilt is eating away at me. In the meantime I’m terrified and alienating all the human relationships I have as nobody will come to my house anymore. I can’t even have my grandchild over.
She needs an experienced owner, one that can actually give her some kind of a life.
I’d contact a breed specific rescue and keep her until they could find a suitable experienced owner. I don’t want her going into kennels and I’m not interested in money. I just want to save her 😢

I just don’t know what to do anymore. My own adult children will no longer visit 😔

@GuiltRiddenDilema

Thank you for the responses. I have reported the breeders and last I heard they had sold up and moved house and are no longer advertising on Champ Dogs.

I couldn’t have her PTS, I just wouldn’t be able to do it. The guilt would be too much but @CovidCorvid I do understand your decision and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

With me she’s the most loving sweetheart. Affectionate and loyal. I KNOW she has good in her.

Anyone know if I could set up an agreement with the rescue that if things didn’t work out with new owners she’d come back to me?

I think that the arrangements would depend on the individual rescue’s policy. You’d have to check with them what they’d be prepared to do.

The breeder is an irresponsible bastard.
I do think you will have to rehome or pts. Have her assessed by places who take in dogs with these particular issues and see what they advise. Don’t feel bad, you clearly love your dog, it’s a shit situation but neither of you can go on like this.

This is the first time I’ve seen someone talking about giving up their dog and understood why rather than thinking they were being selfish. You are being responsible with your actions, it will be the hardest decision you make and only you can make it.

Just to check, have they been checked by the vet to see if there is anything they can suggest? Potentially it being a response to pain or anything or is there anything they can prescribe to help settle them?

What do you think an experienced owner will do any different to what you have done? Surely you are just passing on the problem because you can't bear to make the difficult decision that seems to have to be made to control your aggressive dog. You have said that you wouldn't put her in a rescue kennels so a rescue wouldn't be able to gain the full knowledge of what is wrong with the dog to give a full picture to the new owner.

However hard it is to accept, PTS is probably the best and safest option. If your dog went on to hurt another person or child when with the new owner, when you know full well it can be aggressive and unpredictable, I'm sure you wouldn't be able to live with yourself.

This isn't your fault, you were taken advantage on. Pets are suppose to enrich our lives, not make them unbearable.

I couldn’t have her PTS, I just wouldn’t be able to do it. The guilt would be too much

Personally, I'd feel far more guilty if I knew my dog was aggressive and I let it go and live elsewhere, knowing it was likely to bite.

It sounds like you’ve really really tried everything now. By rehoming, essentially what you’re asking is that someone else take on the risk from you. The risk that you’ve thrown everything at to try and mitigate. Is that fair?
I honestly think it sounds like you’ve given it your all, but PTS is the best option now. I remember your previous threads too.

It sounds like you are a wonderful owner who has gone above and beyond to do all you can to help this dog, yet the problem is still there, so you have to accept there is nothing further you can do about it in terms of changing her behaviour. Your choice is to either keep the dog, and continue changing your own lifestyle to fit in with it (don’t have visitors, only walk the dog in very quiet places etc) or plan to rehome her … speak to all the rehoming centres you can, giving them all the behavioural reports you’ve commissioned, find out what they think her chances of being rehomed are. I could only imagine it would be to someone who lives quietly and perhaps has their own land to walk the dog in. They will know how often such opportunities come up. I love dogs and see them as part of the family and can understand how hard it would be to give up on one, but in your situation I could not bear the worry and responsibility of trying to avoid something awful happening, and after 3 yrs I could not continue putting a dog before my family and friends. If the worst happened and she had to be put to sleep, I would be devastated but I would know I had done everything I could and that I had given her 3 good years. Please don’t feel guilty, you have done so much and sacrificed so much already, it’s just a really sad situation and you have gone way beyond what most people would have done. All the best and good luck 💐

You can either keep and manage her behaviour or you can't. Signing her over to a rescue then taking her back again if it doesn't work out (which no reputable rescue would agree to anyway) doesn't change anything other than adding more stress and confusion to her life.

What would you advise a friend to do?

Problem is I love the dog dearly and she’s obsessed with me.

YANBU in the nicest way it’s probably her love for you that makes her overprotective and aggressive.

Giving her to someone with more experience will definitely be the best thing for her. Dogs don’t like being aggressive, it’s a reaction because they feel unsafe, overprotective, nervous etc.

You have done your best.
Chances are she was taken away from her parents too early or she has something deeper going on.

Your only option is to contact a breed rescue, be absolutely 100% honest and see what they say.

I love dogs, and I love Dobermans and other ‘scary’ breeds. But if you were my mother I’d be really frustrated with you. Really frustrated.

If you won’t consider having her PTS then the breed rescue and total honesty is your only option. BUT if I was the breed rescue I would tell you no to having her come back to you if it didn’t work out at a new home. At that point the only sensible and responsible option would be PTS. And they should tell you that and you should support that.

I understand your predicament but please give it some thought. Changing homes may confuse her especially as she is so dedicated to you. She is known to be aggressive and you must take credit for doing everything you could to help her but she is not going to change.
Part of being a good owner is taking responsibility of doing the right thing for them however hard it is for us
Talk to your vet who will reassure you

I would have had her (not currently as have a child) and there will be other people who will happily too.
A reputable behaviourist will not advise pts, as there are other ways.
It will take time and needs a specialist though. Good luck and I’m sorry this has happened to you both.

@Pendolino

I would talk to the breed specific rescue to see what they say but prepare yourself that you may need to consider euthanasia. Really sorry you’re in this position after trying so hard to do the right thing. Irresponsible breeders have a lot to answer for.

This is what I would do as well. I’ve worked through some behavior related issues with my dog through a specialist behavior vet and she told me from the beginning that many of these problems have a strong genetic component so don’t blame yourself.

Luckily my dog had anxiety issues but wasn’t dangerous or aggressive but will admit to considering rehoming as a puppy. I was able to throw money at the problem but realise that’s not always enough.

@GuiltRiddenDilema
You do seem to be responsible- Sadly genes do come out in temperament.
A muzzle will make her MUCH safer around people and dogs.
I’d not want an aggressive dog, no matter what the reason, and nor would many people
If a Doberman specific trainer can’t do anything, I don’t know what to suggest.
A local dog of not dissimilar breeding wears a muzzle all the time after seriously injuring innocent dogs- It went to court.
A muzzle at least keeps everyone safe.

@Stompythedinosaur

I think you are kidding yourself if you think an aggressive adult dog will be rehomed.

I’m sorry but I agree. PTS might be the only option unfortunately If this dog is just very very bonded to you then being in kennels will be awful for it and even breed specialists will struggle with such an aggressive dog. Being PTS might be better for the dog than being passed around, left in kennels and who knows what else

A friend of mine had her dog pts.
Ddog had always been unpredictable.
Would nip for no reason.
Friend was moving to live nearer to dc and new dgc.
She would never have been able to have family visit with dgc.
She didn't want to rehome a dog that she knew may bite.
It was the best solution but still broke her heart.

Once you give her up that's it you need to walk away. I love dogs more than most people and would never say this lightly but pts may be the best option for the dog. You say shes obsessed with you. In that case theres a high possibility you may be the one that she attacks. I don't understand dog owners who don't acknowledge when pts is the right thing for the dog. You've tried everything you could.

This is very sad, but you have done everything you possibly can and you need to do what is best for you and your family. Having a relationship with your children and grandchildren is much more important than any dog.

If a child is bitten , it will be game over anyway.
And realistically, little children are unpredictable in their movements- I don’t blame your daughter for not wanting to visit.
There are enough “ Good natured” dogs desperately looking for homes- So a known fear aggressive dog is unlikely to be rehomed as we live in a society where people are sued for dog bites- and this is a known unpredictable, strong dog.

You worry that the dog will escape the garden and attack a small child. The dog makes your house too unsafe for your family to visit. But the thing that you'd feel guilty about is putting it to sleep? You have an animal capable of killing someone and with an unstable and aggressive temperament that is genetic and can't be improved through training. Taking it to the vet and having it humanely euthanised is the least awful of all the options.

Personally I’d feel more guilty rehoming, thinking the dog could be scared and confused. At least when pts they’re out of mental torment ….and a dog which behaves like this is going through that. My BIL always said my dog was mentally ill. He believes that as some people can be mentally ill so can animals. I’m not sure but ive since found out the breeder I got him from has had issues with other aggressive dogs so I do think maybe a genetic element combined with not knowing what might have happened to him for the first six months of his life. So maybe he was abused?

After 3 years of training due to aggressive behaviour she is already with a highly experienced owner (that’s you, BTW, trainers train the owner more than the dog)

You have done a lot for her, and even the more experienced trainers have told you she will always be aggressive. You love her, know her and despite all the training cannot manage her and is making your life very difficult.

You ABSOLUTELY CANNOT REHOME her, she is too dangerous for that, if she doesn’t hurt or kill someone known to the rehoming person, she will when she is passed down to the next owner.

You know what you need to do, it is a huge sacrifice, but the right decision considering the grief she can inflict on you or other family or the possibility you may end up in jail for rehoming her even to someone who couldn’t fully understand the responsibility they were taking on as well as you do.

Definitely speak to a breed specific rescue. Our friends had a fear reactive Dalmatian and worked so hard with him for years. Blue cross/RSPCA/dogs trust all said to PTS. Found a Dalmatian rescue and he's now living his best life in a home suited to his needs. Breed fanatics will often be willing to take on basket cases no one else will touch .we have a lurcher and are supported by a lurcher charity and they often re-home reactive and fear aggressive dogs with specialist foster homes who have no visiting children, wide open spaces etc and they can live happily. It's not always a happy ending though so you will have to bear that in mind, but a specialist rescue will be far more honest and open about what is possible than anyone else.

I have a reactive dog, but thank fully not aggressive. It is incredibly hard. Rehoming her, if you can, will be the kindest thing. She isn't happy and as much a she loves you, she will bond with a new family. Some places allow open adoptions too, so you could always discuss this.

You must employ one of the solutions above. I wouldn’t go to a breed specific rescue. I would either use the people in the link in the first few posts or put to sleep. At least then you know she went peacefully and what happened to her. I’m going to be horrible here and tell you to check the background of the breeder you next use far more carefully. Consider your breed choice and why you want a dog. If it’s just companionship, get something less renowned for their ability to guard.

I’m really sorry you are going through this, one of mine was incredibly dog aggressive and it was a nightmare just trying to do normal walks.

@IllManneredBitch

You worry that the dog will escape the garden and attack a small child. The dog makes your house too unsafe for your family to visit. But the thing that you'd feel guilty about is putting it to sleep? You have an animal capable of killing someone and with an unstable and aggressive temperament that is genetic and can't be improved through training. Taking it to the vet and having it humanely euthanised is the least awful of all the options.

Agree 100percent. It would be grossly irresponsible to pass an aggressive dog on. Jack Lees was killed by such a “ Passed on” dog. Doubt any responsible rescue would want to take on such a liability.