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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: dog owner in park

222 replies

SarahProblem · 16/01/2022 02:30

I can't sleep so thinking about a situation from earlier today. I totally accept I'm probably being a bit precious.

DP and I were sat in a local park. It's a bit muddy but dry enough to sit on a bench and have a coffee and a cake from the nearby bakery.

A family comes along the path nearby comprising of a man on a mobility scooter maybe early forties, a similarly aged woman walking, their child and dog probably mix breed mostly Labrador, off lead bounding around - very cute

DP and I are mid conversation... Labrador runs over to me without me noticing ..and jumps up on my back muddy paws and body leaving a massive mark down dry clean only coat. owners see this happen and say "(dog name) no food for you there come here " man in scooter drives over and says a quiet "oh sorry " ... And drives away.

DP shouts over :"your dog made a mess of partners coat ..that's really not on. Are you not going to even asses the damage"... Family just half ignore/shrug and walk away. In the moment we were too busy dabbing mud to do anything...not sure there's much to do ...we're not confrontational people.

AIBU to expect some sort of gesture? E.g. give me your number and we'll cover dry cleaning bill. Or is it just one of those things?

OP posts:
DerektheGoose · 16/01/2022 03:56

The dog owners were dicks but at the same time I wouldn't wear a dry clean only jacket on a muddy walk - what if you'd slipped over 🤷‍♀️

BouleBaker · 16/01/2022 04:24

I kind of assume a coat is there to protect my clothes from rain and mud, so expect it to get dirty. Not sure how practical a dry clean only coat is really.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 16/01/2022 04:28

Its a bit annoying but they apologised. I wouldnt offer to dry clean a coat for you in this instance, mainly because id think you were a bit of a twonk for wearing a dry clean only coat on a muddy walk where a load of dogs are.....

Joeyandjanicesdayoffun · 16/01/2022 04:32

I'd feel the same as you. Even a proper apology would have been better. It's not fair that your property got dirty because their dog jumped up.

GreenWheat · 16/01/2022 04:50

Whilst they might have issued a more sincere apology, I don't think they should have offered to pay for dry cleaning. It's not their problem that you have chosen a fussy coat that can't go in the washing machine. That's your risk in my opinion.

Roadshiner · 16/01/2022 05:29

Just to save all the dog apologists the bother:

Of course it’s all your fault OP. What on earth were you thinking, going outdoors in a coat of your choosing and expecting other people to keep their bloody dogs under control. I’m sure the dog was “just being friendly” or “saying hello”.

And of course the dog “wouldn’t hurt a fly” - until it does.

WTF475878237NC · 16/01/2022 05:36

I would have offered to pay for your coat to be cleaned. Blaming you for an untrained dog pounce is like saying she shouldn't have worn a short skirt around all those men.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 16/01/2022 05:46

I'd be pissed off op.

And yes I'm a massive dog fan and have a few clumsy rescues myself.

I would still be pissed off.

Accidents do happen but a proper apology should have been had here

Mollymalone123 · 16/01/2022 05:58

Dog owner here- I would have apologised and offered to pay for dry cleaning
If it happens to me-it does on a regular basis but then I walk my dogs and greet other dogs I see-some are a bit wild ( not trained properly) or are puppies and still learning -I’m not bothered as it’s just one of those things-I have always had an apology though at the very least.

Astitichintimesaveswine · 16/01/2022 06:08

I'm surprised by some of these comments. They were definitely in the wrong by not taking responsibility for their dog. Why shouldn't you be able to wear a dry clean only coat to the park.

Nonivknamesforcatapillars · 16/01/2022 06:10

It’s annoying and they should have had their dog under better control.

However, I wouldn’t have assumed that your coat was dry clean only and therefore would have just apologised for my dog and walked off embarrassed (I’ve worked very hard at getting my dog to not jump on people). I don’t own a dry clean only coat and if I did I’d probably save it for smart trips out and not the muddy park, so it just wouldn’t occur to me that you couldn’t just simply wash it. Maybe they thought the same.

Treesuphooray · 16/01/2022 06:21

People and their jumpy dogs!

Over Christmas a dog bounded up to us (4 adults and 4 kids 3-11 years), first jumped up on an adult leaving muddy paw prints. Owner looked but did nothing, then came back at full pelt and knocked 3 year old over. 3 year old screaming in fear and the owner ambled up and was apparently very surprised that we blamed her. Dog is being friendly apparently.

It wasn’t the dogs fault, it’s the owners fault every single time. Dog should be on a lead if it’s likely to go up to other people.

We now have a 3 year old that worries about every dog she sees.

They should have apologised and checked what you needed. It really isn’t ok to let your dog interfere with, break, dirty, terrify other people!

MarieG10 · 16/01/2022 06:24

Yes...another thread about dogs and their owners not keeping them under control. Don't disagree @SarahProblem but unfortunately the country is full of dogs and a fair proportion of owners are so besotted with their dog that they think everyone else is and wants to have mucky paws and snotty doggy noses on them when they are out for a peaceful walk

AlDanvers · 16/01/2022 06:28

As a dog owner I absolutely would have apologised. I wouldn't have presumed the coat was dry clean only or given you my details. If you had said it was I would have offered to pay.

I hate dogs that approach strangers and jump up. It's awful.

Unfortunately some people are dicks and think their life choices should impact other people. Some happen to be dog owners.

sandgrown · 16/01/2022 06:28

I wear a specific ugly waterproof coat when I walk my dog but if I was going to a park with friends I wear my decent coat . The owners should definitely have apologised and at least offered to pay without prompting. Not your fault at all .

Palavah · 16/01/2022 06:29

I'm bemused by some of the answers.

They should at least have apologised.

Most coats are dry clean only, aren't they?! Wool, shearling, teddy-bear.

Down are washable

What kind is yours?

BeeDavis · 16/01/2022 06:52

“Assess the damage” a bit of mud 🤯

Mouthfulofquiz · 16/01/2022 06:53

I’m annoyed on your behalf OP!
An off lead dog stole food from my toddler who was having a snack in his pushchair and he was petrified of dogs for about a year after that. So unfair. You can wear whatever coat you bloody well like.

TeloMere · 16/01/2022 06:58

Of course the dog owners should have apologised profusely and offered to pay for dry cleaning the coat.
My lab did the same thing when he was a pup. Even though he was on the lead he managed to jump up at a man walking past and left muddy footprints on his coat.
I was mortified and said I'd pay for cleaning and he said there was no need as the mud would brush off.
Perhaps most people just want a proper apology.

cookiemonster2468 · 16/01/2022 07:06

In this scenario it wouldn't occur to me to offer to pay for cleaning a coat, because it wouldn't occur to me that it might be dry-clean only.

I'd profusely apologise for the dog jumping etc., that's definitely not on, but you can't expect people to know you are wearing expensive clothes. You should have told the owner this.

cookiemonster2468 · 16/01/2022 07:08

@BouleBaker

I kind of assume a coat is there to protect my clothes from rain and mud, so expect it to get dirty. Not sure how practical a dry clean only coat is really.
Daft comment. People can wear what they like. They shouldn't have to deal with muddy dogs that don't belong to them.
ElftonWednesday · 16/01/2022 07:12

Give over and brush the mud off your coat when it's dry. Yes, dogs shouldn't jump up but sometimes they do. They should have apologised but really it's not a big deal.

esloquehay · 16/01/2022 07:26

I would have apologised profusely, but no, I wouldn't offer to pay for someone's dry cleaning.

Youngstreet · 16/01/2022 07:27

I have a dog and keep a very careful watch on everything around me on walks so that I can call her back quickly if I think she may jump up.
She rarely would now as she’s 8 but I would be mortified if she dirtied someone’s clothing or knocked a dc over.

Dog owners like these are awful and give the rest of us a bad name.

Mouthfulofquiz · 16/01/2022 07:30

I really do think you should have been offered money for dry cleaning. I would offer if, for example, one of my children spilled a drink over a friend’s coat. Yes accidents happen and most people would say no to the offer but it is the least you can do really.