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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: dog owner in park

222 replies

SarahProblem · 16/01/2022 02:30

I can't sleep so thinking about a situation from earlier today. I totally accept I'm probably being a bit precious.

DP and I were sat in a local park. It's a bit muddy but dry enough to sit on a bench and have a coffee and a cake from the nearby bakery.

A family comes along the path nearby comprising of a man on a mobility scooter maybe early forties, a similarly aged woman walking, their child and dog probably mix breed mostly Labrador, off lead bounding around - very cute

DP and I are mid conversation... Labrador runs over to me without me noticing ..and jumps up on my back muddy paws and body leaving a massive mark down dry clean only coat. owners see this happen and say "(dog name) no food for you there come here " man in scooter drives over and says a quiet "oh sorry " ... And drives away.

DP shouts over :"your dog made a mess of partners coat ..that's really not on. Are you not going to even asses the damage"... Family just half ignore/shrug and walk away. In the moment we were too busy dabbing mud to do anything...not sure there's much to do ...we're not confrontational people.

AIBU to expect some sort of gesture? E.g. give me your number and we'll cover dry cleaning bill. Or is it just one of those things?

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 16/01/2022 07:34

@cookiemonster2468

In this scenario it wouldn't occur to me to offer to pay for cleaning a coat, because it wouldn't occur to me that it might be dry-clean only.

I'd profusely apologise for the dog jumping etc., that's definitely not on, but you can't expect people to know you are wearing expensive clothes. You should have told the owner this.

You’d be surprised at how many coats are dry clean only, particularly if they contain any wool. All of my winter coats are dry clean only with the exception of a waterproof coat and a puffa. I still wouldn’t want paw prints on either of those but these things happen.
Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 16/01/2022 07:48

I would find this situation really annoying. I can't stand stranger's dogs jumping on me, I'm not too keen on them even approaching me really. However in this situation a sincere appology would have been enough. They possibly wouldn't realise the coat was dry clean only.

Offmyfence · 16/01/2022 07:51

Dog owners were not good, but not being able to sleep over a muddy coat is odd. I thought you were going to say you were bitten by the dog.

ThunderCrow · 16/01/2022 07:53

I'm not a massive fan of money being the way to cure all ills but would have appreciated a sincere apology.

DropYourSword · 16/01/2022 07:54

They should absolutely have apologised, but I think it’s telling just how privileged some posters are that they expect everyone could just afford to pay for an unexpected cost such as someone’s dry cleaning!

TheAverageUser · 16/01/2022 07:59

"...assessed the damage" is a bit melodramatic, it's just mud. That said the dog owners should absolutely have offered a real apology and stopped to talk to you. I wouldn't offer dry cleaning, that's up to you if you have something on a muddy walk that you can't wash easily

StoneofDestiny · 16/01/2022 08:00

Just to save all the dog apologists the bother

Of course it’s all your fault OP. What on earth were you thinking, going outdoors in a coat of your choosing and expecting other people to keep their bloody dogs under control. I’m sure the dog was “just being friendly” or “saying hello”

And of course the dog “wouldn’t hurt a fly” - until it does

Totally agree. Unbelievable that some dog owners seem to think you need to wear clothes that are more suitable to get mauled by a dog in! No wonder dog shot is littering the place with attitudes like that.

Grida · 16/01/2022 08:02

To all the dog apologists on this thread. The vast majority of dog owners manage to control their dogs and train them not to jump up. If your dog is jumping up on strangers, you need to sort this out or keep your dog on a lead. That is what other people do.

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 16/01/2022 08:03

I would have profusely apologised but not offered to clean your coat. Coats get dirty that's kind of the point of them. But they're clearly very lax dog owners that just let it do what it wants

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 16/01/2022 08:04

Also, my dog wouldn't have done it because she's on a lead. But if you came up to her without asking me she would jump. (If you'd ask I'd have told you she jumps.) So maybe that colours my response.

StoneofDestiny · 16/01/2022 08:05

I wouldn't offer to pay for someone's dry cleaning

That's like saying you don't want to pay for damaging someone else's car when you crashed into it!
If you, or what you are supposed to be in control of, damage someone else's property, you are responsible for the bill - like it or not.

pizzicato · 16/01/2022 08:05

I used to go to our local park for exercise and walk. However after having dogs jump all over my coat I don't bother any more.

Grida · 16/01/2022 08:06

@DropYourSword

They should absolutely have apologised, but I think it’s telling just how privileged some posters are that they expect everyone could just afford to pay for an unexpected cost such as someone’s dry cleaning!
I thought owning a dog was quite expensive.
Sally872 · 16/01/2022 08:07

The issue you is the dog being off the lead when it isn't well trained enough. I would be angry about that not that they didn't offer to pay for dry cleaning. They did say sorry.

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 16/01/2022 08:07

The first reply and its one telling you to suck it up.
I'm a dog owner, my dog has terrible recall (I've tried.. sigh) so he doesn't go off the lead around people or other dogs. I could let him off anyway, but I'm not a selfish twat with no regard for others.
YANBU people need to learn to control their bloody pets. If you fail to recall your dog near sheep you know it can be shot don't you? It would be no ones fault but yours too.

FocacciaFingerer · 16/01/2022 08:08

I'm an owner of a very large over friendly dog and this is the reason he's only off lead when there's no one about
The owners were in the wrong and should have offered to pay for the cost of cleaning your coat
Unfortunately there will always be ignorant dog owners

ThunderCrow · 16/01/2022 08:09

If you fail to recall your dog near sheep you know it can be shot don't you?

No one at all should be recalling a dog around sheep - because no one at all (bar the farmer) should have an off lead dog near sheep. So recalling shouldn't be an issue.

FocacciaFingerer · 16/01/2022 08:09

@StoneofDestiny

I wouldn't offer to pay for someone's dry cleaning

That's like saying you don't want to pay for damaging someone else's car when you crashed into it!
If you, or what you are supposed to be in control of, damage someone else's property, you are responsible for the bill - like it or not.

100% this
ANameChangeAgain · 16/01/2022 08:10

I personally don't own a dry clean only coat, so it would have occurred to me either, sorry. However as an owner of dogs I think its completely unacceptable that they let their dog jump up with muddy paws. Where I live its illegal to allow your dogs off lead in park areas. I'm not sure though what else they could have done apart from apologise, the coat wasn't ripped and mud can be brushed off most coats when it is dry.

Lockheart · 16/01/2022 08:11

It's mud, it will brush off no problem when it's dry. Don't worry about your coat. It's annoying but your coat isn't ruined and won't need the dry cleaners.

Darbs76 · 16/01/2022 08:12

Assess the damage? Look at a muddy coat? They could have apologised more but these things happen in parks

Lockheart · 16/01/2022 08:13

@StoneofDestiny

I wouldn't offer to pay for someone's dry cleaning

That's like saying you don't want to pay for damaging someone else's car when you crashed into it!
If you, or what you are supposed to be in control of, damage someone else's property, you are responsible for the bill - like it or not.

This is interesting though because I'm sure I recall a thread where a toddler spilt orange juice all over someone's coat and the general consensus was that it would be unreasonable to expect the parents to pay for an accident. If I'm remembering wrong then I'm happy to be corrected!
freelions · 16/01/2022 08:19

I am not a dog owner but afraid I think you and your partner are being a little bit precious

The man did apologise

I agree that it's annoying, but if you wait for the mud to dry it should just brush off

If it was dog shit I would be furious but a bit of mud is not worth getting upset about or dry cleaning a coat for

Willyoujustbequiet · 16/01/2022 08:19

A couple of really entitled owners on here. The kind that give the rest of us a bad name.

They should offer to pay. 100% their responsibility.

Mouthfulofquiz · 16/01/2022 08:21

I remember that thread. I would pay for the dry cleaning if my toddler spilled something!