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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: dog owner in park

222 replies

SarahProblem · 16/01/2022 02:30

I can't sleep so thinking about a situation from earlier today. I totally accept I'm probably being a bit precious.

DP and I were sat in a local park. It's a bit muddy but dry enough to sit on a bench and have a coffee and a cake from the nearby bakery.

A family comes along the path nearby comprising of a man on a mobility scooter maybe early forties, a similarly aged woman walking, their child and dog probably mix breed mostly Labrador, off lead bounding around - very cute

DP and I are mid conversation... Labrador runs over to me without me noticing ..and jumps up on my back muddy paws and body leaving a massive mark down dry clean only coat. owners see this happen and say "(dog name) no food for you there come here " man in scooter drives over and says a quiet "oh sorry " ... And drives away.

DP shouts over :"your dog made a mess of partners coat ..that's really not on. Are you not going to even asses the damage"... Family just half ignore/shrug and walk away. In the moment we were too busy dabbing mud to do anything...not sure there's much to do ...we're not confrontational people.

AIBU to expect some sort of gesture? E.g. give me your number and we'll cover dry cleaning bill. Or is it just one of those things?

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 16/01/2022 09:26

I was sat down at a bench having a coffee when this happened not walking anywhere.

Yes, I understand that. But the family probably thought that by being in a muddy park in January, you'd be wearing suitable clothes for the time of year and location.

That's not to say it's your fault the dog jumped or anything like that, but you could easily have slipped or skidded in mud and ended up on the floor with a ruined coat anyway.

I'd never wear anything expensive or dry-clean only to a park in winter, it's just asking for upset.

SirChenjins · 16/01/2022 09:28

Well, if someone damaged my clothing I wouldn't just sit there on the bench and let them walk away

You can’t actually stop anyone walking away if they choose to - which is what these people chose to do. Even if the OP had shown them the muddy marks they would just have repeated their apology and continued walking.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 16/01/2022 09:29

People should be entitled to wear whatever the fuck they want to the park.

People should be entitled to visit the park without dogs they don’t know jumping on them.

PhoboPhobia · 16/01/2022 09:29

I’m a dog owner and I would have been mortified and given a proper apology.

Sometimes dogs can be unpredictable but you have to anticipate and divert. In the situation you are describing, mine would have been put back on lead until we were past anyone sitting on benches.

offersoverr · 16/01/2022 09:30

YANBU OP.

Several times in the park a dog will come and jump up at me getting my (washable) coat dirty. It’s really annoying and not ok.

LemonPeonies · 16/01/2022 09:30

So now you can't wear what uou want just in case someone's "friendly" over excitable annoying dog jumps on you! 🙄. Don't even get me started on ones trying to jump on my 2 yo toddler.

gogohm · 16/01/2022 09:30

Obviously dogs shouldn't jump up but wearing a dry clean only coat to a muddy park seems odd. My dog avoids people so I can be a bit smug, but it's not uncommon for some breeds to jump up to say hello, yes poor training but predictable, ditto trying to get food off you

MsAgnesDiPesto · 16/01/2022 09:30

@Mariposista

It's a young dog being friendly, that's what this breed do, especially when they are young. It didn't bite you! An apology is sufficient.
No. No. No.

You have no right to cause a nuisance to me because you choose to have a dog, not train it properly, and then allow it to run free.

Dogs should be on the lead everywhere that there are other people or animals.

I don’t care if it’s ‘friendly’. I don’t want it around, beside, touching me at all. Not being bitten is not the measure of a successful encounter with an animal I don’t know and don’t want near me.

vivainsomnia · 16/01/2022 09:31

I would have apogised profusely and might have considered some financial remedy, but the moment I'd heard about assessing damage, I would have assumed you were just looking for easy cash.

Its not really appropriate language fir the situation.

SoupDragon · 16/01/2022 09:31

you could easily have slipped or skidded in mud and ended up on the floor with a ruined coat anyway.

Except she didn't. She was walking on a firm, dry path, not hiking through muddy woods, so it seems unlikely. She chose her clothing according to where she was going and what she was doing.

SirChenjins · 16/01/2022 09:32

@Babayaggatheboneylegged

People should be entitled to wear whatever the fuck they want to the park.

People should be entitled to visit the park without dogs they don’t know jumping on them.

Exactly.

So just to be clear to the idiots saying it’s your fault for wearing a dry clean only coat for a walk along a path in a path - what exactly should people wear to in order for this kind of dog owner to accept they should pay for the cleaning costs incurred as a result of their dog jumping up?

vivainsomnia · 16/01/2022 09:33

Dogs should be on the lead everywhere that there are other people or animals
Why do you think the majority of dogs who are very well behaved and stay away from other dogs and people should be punished fir a minority of dogs who are not?

MsAgnesDiPesto · 16/01/2022 09:33

@gogohm

Obviously dogs shouldn't jump up but wearing a dry clean only coat to a muddy park seems odd. My dog avoids people so I can be a bit smug, but it's not uncommon for some breeds to jump up to say hello, yes poor training but predictable, ditto trying to get food off you
I will not have other people dictate what I can wear out in case their animal decides to come and dirty my clothes.

Keep your dog on a lead where you might reasonably encounter other people. Your dog is not more important than anyone else.

Looubylou · 16/01/2022 09:33

OP has every right to feel very annoyed, and entitled to wear whatever she likes to the park. I don't think it's acceptable, however, to shout at a family with children, and their quietly apologetic Dad, in his mobility scooter. OP's partner clearly is confrontational, to do that.

rookiemere · 16/01/2022 09:33

Well exactly @SirChenjins , it's a pain to even have to stick my bog standard waterproof and jeans in the washing machine when it's unplanned or they may just have been washed.

SoupDragon · 16/01/2022 09:34

OP you were not in the wrong at all (other than maybe not being assertive enough as you say). The dog owners were entirely at fault.

I have a dog. If I'm going to the muddy woods I wear my ugly waterproof coat and walking boots. If I'm going round the park I wear an ordinary coat and boots. It's normal behaviour!

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 16/01/2022 09:35

@Babayaggatheboneylegged

People should be entitled to wear whatever the fuck they want to the park.

People should be entitled to visit the park without dogs they don’t know jumping on them.

Of course they're entitled to wear whatever they want, but that doesn't mean that certain clothing choices aren't a bit daft for certain activities.

Again, I'm not saying it's acceptable for the dog to have jumped all over her - of course that's totally wrong but I suspect it didn't occur to the owners that she was wearing something that couldn't just be washed and cleaned up at home.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 16/01/2022 09:35

@vivainsomnia

Dogs should be on the lead everywhere that there are other people or animals Why do you think the majority of dogs who are very well behaved and stay away from other dogs and people should be punished fir a minority of dogs who are not?
It’s unsociable to leave dogs running free. They are unpredictable and can, and do, cause difficulty for other people and other dogs. Even if well trained, things can go wrong. Your dog doesn’t have more rights than I do.
SoupDragon · 16/01/2022 09:37

@vivainsomnia

Dogs should be on the lead everywhere that there are other people or animals Why do you think the majority of dogs who are very well behaved and stay away from other dogs and people should be punished fir a minority of dogs who are not?
They aren't a majority in my experience. The number of off-lead dogs who bound over to annoy my on-lead one is beyond annoying. The owners all think it's my fault for walking my dog on a lead where there are other dogs rather than them for not being in control of their dog. Very few seem either willing or able to recall their dog.
FFSjustLTB · 16/01/2022 09:37

You would have been able to brush the dry mud off later. Dabbing and fussing at it would have made it worse.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 16/01/2022 09:38

So just to be clear to the idiots saying it’s your fault for wearing a dry clean only coat for a walk along a path in a path - what exactly should people wear to in order for this kind of dog owner to accept they should pay for the cleaning costs incurred as a result of their dog jumping up?

Most clothes can just be popped in the washing machine so why would anyone need to offer to pay any cleaning costs?

I wouldn't wear clothes to the park that are expensive or that I'd be upset to get mud on because I know what parks are like in winter - full of puddles, muddy and slippy, even if you stick to the paths they're rarely completely clean and dry.

lucillelarusso · 16/01/2022 09:38

This happened to me yesterday - the dog ripped my brand new, first wear BAM leggings. The owner found it all hilarious. Fucking idiot. Of course it's not your fault OP - but what can you do?

vivainsomnia · 16/01/2022 09:38

It’s unsociable to leave dogs running free. They are unpredictable and can, and do, cause difficulty for other people and other dogs. Even if well trained, things can go wrong. Your dog doesn’t have more rights than I do
Here we go again, didn't take long for the dog haters to show up to want to punish all dogs and shout their rights. I don't know why you bother, it will never happen because...you're unreasonable.

SoupDragon · 16/01/2022 09:39

Of course they're entitled to wear whatever they want, but that doesn't mean that certain clothing choices aren't a bit daft for certain activities.

The OP was going for a walk/drink a coffee in a park with proper paths. She was appropriately dressed for that activity.

SirChenjins · 16/01/2022 09:40

@FFSjustLTB

You would have been able to brush the dry mud off later. Dabbing and fussing at it would have made it worse.
Not at all - it depends on the type of vegetation etc in the mud. Some leaves a stain, esp if it’s on a light coloured coat.