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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU: dog owner in park

222 replies

SarahProblem · 16/01/2022 02:30

I can't sleep so thinking about a situation from earlier today. I totally accept I'm probably being a bit precious.

DP and I were sat in a local park. It's a bit muddy but dry enough to sit on a bench and have a coffee and a cake from the nearby bakery.

A family comes along the path nearby comprising of a man on a mobility scooter maybe early forties, a similarly aged woman walking, their child and dog probably mix breed mostly Labrador, off lead bounding around - very cute

DP and I are mid conversation... Labrador runs over to me without me noticing ..and jumps up on my back muddy paws and body leaving a massive mark down dry clean only coat. owners see this happen and say "(dog name) no food for you there come here " man in scooter drives over and says a quiet "oh sorry " ... And drives away.

DP shouts over :"your dog made a mess of partners coat ..that's really not on. Are you not going to even asses the damage"... Family just half ignore/shrug and walk away. In the moment we were too busy dabbing mud to do anything...not sure there's much to do ...we're not confrontational people.

AIBU to expect some sort of gesture? E.g. give me your number and we'll cover dry cleaning bill. Or is it just one of those things?

OP posts:

PegasusReturns · 16/01/2022 13:35

People really lose it over dogs on MN

And what in earth is it with the you shouldn’t wear a wool coat on a walk in the park brigade?! Presumably you offer this same advice to victims of other unfortunate events?!

OP I’d be irritated too - even before I discovered the rip. A proper apology should have been the very least offered .

Fudgein · 16/01/2022 13:41

This happened to me on a holiday once, a lady was walking a golden retriever (gorgeous) and kept calling it but it clearly wasn't listening to her. It came sprinting towards me & my nieces at full speed, knocked one of them flying & jumped all over me. They are huge dogs, it was covered in mud & in the end so was I. My niece was crying, I was angry and the woman couldn't have cared less. I did actually confront her and say he's lovely but he has just knocked niece over & jumped all over me and she said well it's a public place I can bring him here if I want I knew then there was no point continuing. I was more concerned the dog would run into someone who was scared or the road tbh as she had no control over it whatsoever.

VelvetChairGirl · 16/01/2022 13:45

UnshakenNeedsStirring

I just couldnt do it, the audacity to think any PUBLIC green space is their for a toilet not withstanding, having my child really brought it home to me how there isnt really anywhere you can take a young child to play its all full of massive dogs and dog shit and I am in London.

but no I couldn't do it, even walking down the street with one, pissing up lamp posts and peoples walls and having that piss trickle down the pavement so people have to step over it, no I would be embarrassed and ashamed.

I live in flats above shops there's one staircase between the shops and dog owners seem to think its great to let their dogs piss all over the bottom step, I have shouted at a few of them they dont care (also have men pissing there and thats another matter might even be encouraging the dogs) zero consideration and total disrespect for others property.

zingally · 16/01/2022 13:52

I would have apologised properly, but I certainly wouldn't be offering dry cleaning for a coat! You are fair enough to be feeling a bit annoyed, but you are being a bit precious.

Put it in the machine on a cold, low-spin wash - it'll be fine.

LemonPeonies · 16/01/2022 14:07

@Fudgein similar happened to us a while ago when toddler was a baby sat in the pram, dog came over full speed trying to jump on baby. My partner grabbed the dog by its collar super quick. The owner came over all "oh he's friendly ", "yeah but not worth the risk is it". Keep your dogs on leads unless they have perfect recall, what's so difficult to understand?

HouseOfGoldandBones · 16/01/2022 14:36

For goodness sake.

The OP can wear whatever she wants to go for a walk in the park.

She should be able to do so without someone's dog jumping on her.

Why should it cost the OP money because you refuse to control your dog?

I was told the same on here when the same happened to me in a pet shop. Apparently I shouldn't have worn a cream coat to go shopping because I should have known there would be someone there who couldn't control their dog.

Absolutely batshit.

HouseOfGoldandBones · 16/01/2022 14:39

@DropYourSword

They should absolutely have apologised, but I think it’s telling just how privileged some posters are that they expect everyone could just afford to pay for an unexpected cost such as someone’s dry cleaning!

But expecting the OP to pay for it, when it was someone else's fault & responsibility is OK?

HouseOfGoldandBones · 16/01/2022 14:42

@Mariposista

It's a young dog being friendly, that's what this breed do, especially when they are young. It didn't bite you! An apology is sufficient.

So the OP should have to bear the responsibility?

Bluebluemoon39 · 16/01/2022 14:45

Hahaha - just checked back in to see we are now up to "well then, men should be muzzled and on leads too" and "just don't go to places where there are dogs then"

Er...so people should just stay in their own homes to avoid entitled dog owners and their untrained dogs then? Seeing as dogs are pretty much everywhere now - even in cafes and shops?

Absolutely unbelievable!

Mummywifey · 16/01/2022 14:51

I am a dog owner and would be absolutely MORTIFIED if my dog did that! I would absolutely apologise profusely and offer to dry clean. You are definitely NOT bu.

PinkSyCo · 16/01/2022 15:00

your dog made a mess of partners coat ..that's really not on. Are you not going to even asses the damage".

If the above isn’t confrontational I don’t know what is. That said I would apologise and offer to have your coat cleaned, though I would probably assume the coat was machine washable and hope you didn’t take me up on my offer.

Elphame · 16/01/2022 15:11

I am a multi dog owner myself but I hate it when other people's badly trained dogs jump up at me.

I had a coat covered in mud by a wet muddy spaniel jumping up at me the other day. The owner barely acknowledged my death glare.

On the other hand I turned the corner to see a wet muddy GSD running towards me at full tilt. I braced myself for the worst but the owner whistled for it, the dog stopped instantly and returned to its owner where it took up the heel position. We passed with polite good mornings. Not all owners of off lead dogs are bad.

Bluebluemoon39 · 16/01/2022 15:19

I am a dog owner and would be absolutely MORTIFIED if my dog did that! I would absolutely apologise profusely and offer to dry clean

And this would be the correct response. If it was my coat I would then refuse your offer of dry cleaning but feel you had acted appropriately - as I'm sure the OP would've.
I would also hope you would then keep your dog on a lead until it was trained to not jump on people/come to you on command.

If only all dog owners were as responsible as you.

Offmyfence · 16/01/2022 15:22

@VelvetChairGirl

UnshakenNeedsStirring

The good news is that it puts fixes off being near there.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Offmyfence · 16/01/2022 15:24

*foxes not fixes

pommypompom · 16/01/2022 15:35

For all of the people saying that you shouldn't have worn a dry clean only coat on a muddy walk....it doesn't fucking matter. If she had been wearing a ball gown, it still wouldn't have mattered. If your dog damages something of someone else's, YOU pay for it. OP, YANU.

Grenlei · 16/01/2022 15:51

OP I don't think you're being unreasonable.

Last year I was out walking in the wooded area near where we live. A lovely if muddy Retriever started walking towards me (he wasn't fully grown, about 2/3 adult size) owner called over as he was approaching and said are you ok with dogs, to which I said yes - and then the bloody dog jumped right up at me, nearly knocking me over. I had 2 lovely big muddy pawprints on my chest and narrowly avoided a face of slobber too. Possibly I shouldn't have said I was fine with dogs but I wasn't expecting him to jump on me! Luckily I was only in old clothes so no harm done but I did cut my walk short as I felt a right plum covered in mud. Owner just shrugged gave a half hearted apology and said ah he's still a puppy, be gets a bit excited by people.

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/01/2022 16:33

Dog owner - firmly in the 'they should have offered to make good' as well as a proper apology.

They're sailing close to the 'dangerously out of control in a public place' here if their dog is jumping on folk and they can't stop that happening and it is just bloody rude - very few people want to be jumped on by a mucky dog.

I would still think you were a bit of a tit for wearing a precious, expensive, easily damaged item to a muddy park, but that doesn't mean you deserve a dog jumping on you, nor that the dog owner shouldn't bear the costs for their negligence!

StoneofDestiny · 16/01/2022 18:23

Amazing that people expect OP to put on specific clothes so that their dog damage is less expensive to her!
I and many others have often gone into the park for lunch break from work, sat down and ate some food. My work suits are all dry clean only. Am I and others meant to buy separate clothes and change into them to accommodate dog's out of control of their owners?

SirChenjins · 16/01/2022 19:19

@StoneofDestiny

Amazing that people expect OP to put on specific clothes so that their dog damage is less expensive to her! I and many others have often gone into the park for lunch break from work, sat down and ate some food. My work suits are all dry clean only. Am I and others meant to buy separate clothes and change into them to accommodate dog's out of control of their owners?

Yes, it seems so. Furthermore, it appears you’re supposed to find a park that is closed to dogs (and where 100% of owners abide by that rule) and use that one in order to be absolutely sure you won’t get jumped on. You’re also supposed to be more to be less precious about your clothes because a bird might shit on you, and then who would you blame?

LuaDipa · 16/01/2022 20:40

@dramallama55

I'm a dog owner and this is unacceptable. It's not just the muddy coat (which is very annoying in itself). What if you had a phobia of dogs? Or were hugely allergic? Or maybe just didn't want a strange dog bounding all over you?

Dog owners like this are selfish, entitled idiots who feel like everyone should love their dog as much as they do. It's very simple, unless your dog has perfect recall and isn't likely to bother other people or dogs keep it on a lead.

Yanbu to be pissed off.

Absolutely.

And I’m unsure why everyone is so shocked that a coat might need to be dry cleaned, I have loads of coats and the vast majority are not machine washable. I can comfortably wear any of them with around my own two dogs without fear of them jumping up so I’m unsure why I should be expected to anticipate a random assault from another dog.

Yanbu op.

VelvetChairGirl · 16/01/2022 20:42

@Offmyfence

*foxes not fixes

No it doesnt and I like foxes anyway. they crash about behind the restaurant at night, this is London, foxes dont give a shit they walk past you on the streets around 5pm no shits given same as you or me.

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