Been with my DP for 6 years, live together. I have a 8 year old ds.
Dp has always had a reputation for doing stupid things when he’s had a drink. The first time I met his friends years ago they all took great delight in telling me all stories of stupid things he’s done and what entertainment he is when he’s had a drink. Some of these are from when he’s about 15/16 so basically from when he first tried alcohol.
Dp is 35, has a very responsible job, is kind, loving, dependable, funny… basically a lovely man, everyone likes him, day to day he’s a good guy. He doesn’t drink the house at all and goes out out maybe every 6/7 weeks. So not every night or weekend or anything like that. But when he’s had a drink he’s a TOTALLY different person. He takes it too far. He’s not aggressive or anything like that, he just acts like a total idiot and does ridiculous things. He can not be reasoned with, he will do things like run into the road, play music at full volume, put his wallet/phone in the bin, run away… just weird annoying things that are really annoying. He will disappear and be found asleep in the toilets or something. I find it SO irritating. He falls over a lot when drunk as well and has broken his wrist previously. But as I say he only goes out now and again, he’s a grown adult and my ds isn’t at home when this happens as he is at his own df’s for the night/weekend.
Tonight he has gone out. We are going to a wedding tomorrow and have to leave at 10.30. He was invited out with a group of men he hasn’t seen since prelockdown, I have no issue with him going out if he wants to be hungover for the wedding so be it, not my problem. Wave him off, order takeaway/watch a film and in bed asleep by 10. Bliss. 2am I’m awoken by a phone call from him telling me he’s walking home and he’s round the corner. It’s -3 outside and he only has a think coat on so I tell
Him to hurry home. 2.20 he’s still not here so I ring him again and he states he has no idea where he is, he’s lost on an estate?? I can hear him KNOCKING on doors, at 2.20!!!!!! I tell him to stop knocking on doors and to tell me where he is, he doesn’t know but eventually manages to send me a pin. He’s 3 miles away on the middle of a new build estate. So i go to pick him up.
He gets in the car and he’s got music playing out of his phone full blast. We drive home and I ask him to turn it off, after much back and forth he switches it off. We go through the gate and he starts opening and closing it really fast so it’s banging, I tell him to stop it and get inside because of the neighbours. Once inside in the light I can see a big cut on his forehead, not sure what’s happened there. Manège to get him up to bed and he’s talking really loud, almost shouting about his night. We live in a terraced house so he’s probably already woken the neighbours so I tell him to be quiet. He then decides he needs a drink, goes to go down stairs and FALLS down the stairs. I check he’s ok (he got up straight away), he’s fine. He’s now in bed and snoring next to me. We’ve got to be up at 7.30 for the wedding.
I love him. This kind of thing happens I’d say 50% of the times he goes out. In December he went to his works do, he’s worked there for 6 years but for different reasons this is the first Christmas do he’s been on. They had to ring me to fetch him because he was so drunk. I picked him up and on the way home he tried to open the car door on the dual carriageway 😢. The next day he was mortified. Behaviour like this happens id say 50% of the times he/we go out. His friends think it’s hilarious. His brother and dad have alcohol issues and I think he has too, not dependency or anything like that but I think he feels he HAS to drink like this on nights out either because he has low confidence or he feels he has something to live up to. If you met him on a normal day you would be shocked as to what he was like drunk as he’s so serious and dependable.
Anyway this is so long and very incoherent. I’m going to speak to him in the morning about how I can’t keep doing this. My anxiety goes through the roof. I have no issues in picking him up, he picks me up when I go out and I’d always rather fetch him then have him walking home in -3 degrees but once again he’s gone out and once again he’s not known his limits. I don’t want to come across as controlling but I need to lay down a line. It’s 3.30 am and I’m lying here wide awake feeling embarrassed about what the neighbours must think