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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Women @ work

201 replies

notstacysmum · 14/01/2022 15:17

Name changed for this in case it becomes a bun fight. I have my hard hat on.

I am a senior manager within a public sector org- I've been in my current role for 4 month and I lead a corporate service; think HR, finance, business improvement etc. I am a massive advocate for women at work and have two daughters... BUT...

I absolutely despair at the vast majority of women at work who don't have basic digital literacy skills and have no enthusiasm for learning them. In the few months I've been in post three members of my team - all female- have failed to grasp basic excel skills needed to manipulate and present reports. They don't have any interest in doing things differently or thinking on their feet. We've implemented a new system they can't get their head around, they give advice on policies from 2 years ago because they "forgot" there was a new one. They leave on the dot every day - which isn't an issue really but they spend the last 15 minutes of every day getting ready to leave and clock watching! I feel like I'm constantly banging my head against a brick wall and I'm at a point where I'd rather replace them all with apprentices because I have to hand hold them on simple tasks. I have two men in my team who take everything in their stride and lead on every project. My department has a long standing reputation of being a bit shit that I've been tasked with turning around- their performance is part of the negative feedback.

These women aren't all menopausal (I accept some are) and this isn't just my team- I hear it from other management colleagues, from friends who don't know how to use even basic office software, I've worked for a long time and it's only ever been female colleagues who behave like this (don't get me wrong- there's been some shit men too but they tend to be over promisers!).

I feel like such a shit feminist to say this but if I could swap them for a team of men I would.

AIBU to think this is probably a gender specific problem (#notallwomen)? WIBU to raise their mediocreness with them?! They haven't done anything differently to the last 15 years and I don't think anyone has ever told them so it's not all their fault but I can't see how else they will change!?

OP posts:
Anotherviewtoyou · 14/01/2022 15:20

I find it odd you’ve placed this as a women at work issue. You are a woman - are you good at your job? Are your daughters good at their jobs or useless? Do you have any female friends who are good at their jobs?

Anotherviewtoyou · 14/01/2022 15:20

To be honest those workers sound like ‘lifers’ who are commonly found in the public sector across both men and women.

EBearhug · 14/01/2022 15:21

Have you asked them to fo Excel in their dev plans? That would be an obvious starting point for me.

PearPickingPorky · 14/01/2022 15:22

AIBU to think this is probably a gender specific problem (#notallwomen)?

YABU.

WIBU to raise their mediocreness with them?!

No, you're their manager. If you need them to learn new skills, you need to address their shortfalls and then provide them with adequate training.

They haven't done anything differently to the last 15 years and I don't think anyone has ever told them so it's not all their fault but I can't see how else they will change!?

So it's been a long-term management problem, but you've decided to blame it on the female "gender" (sic) rather than the ongoing inept management?

Overthebow · 14/01/2022 15:23

We have people at my work like this, but both men and women, it’s not specific to women at all.

CeleriacOfTheNight · 14/01/2022 15:23

Speak for yourself, I'm shit hot at my job.

girlmom21 · 14/01/2022 15:25

@CeleriacOfTheNight

Speak for yourself, I'm shit hot at my job.
Me too.

Sorry OP. It's your job to manage them now. If you've been in the post for months and haven't even addressed the 15 minute issue you're part of the issue really.

Xyzzzzz · 14/01/2022 15:26

As a manager you should be looking at getting them on some courses to help them and not blaming them just because they women

NearlyAHoarder · 14/01/2022 15:28

Wow, im a woman, a menopausal woman tbf and my literary skills are better than required. Can't say the same for all of my colleagues, mostly younger. But they have spell check.

My manager didn't have my back when a customer complained about me when 9 was working within our processes.

As a manager it's important to be supportive to your staff.

I know this will sound passive agressive but i mean it very directly. You're a middle manager.

Support your staff to be who you need them to be.

Dont over value skills you have yourself while not noticing skills you lack.

My line manager has no people kills and doesnt value them in other people.

Good luck.

Sedai · 14/01/2022 15:29

I think YABU to make it a 'women' problem. You have a team problem but i don't see that how relates to their gender.
Likely what's happened is if they have been there a long time (I take it they have as you say the department has a bad reputation), and the culture and environment has lead to coasting and doing the same things even though they don't work, as they haven't yet been challenged.
I agree with PP above- what are you doing to fix it? Have you done strong one to ones, creating personal development plans?That's where I would start. Have they been briefed with a strong introduction to you and your expectations?

Original poster
notstacysmum · 14/01/2022 15:30

@CeleriacOfTheNight

Speak for yourself, I'm shit hot at my job.
I'm pretty shit hot too. I don't directly manage the staff- I lead the department so I manage their manager's manager. The person I manage directly is fine- it goes wonky underneath that.

I appreciate it might not be a gender issue and like I say not all women... but IME more women than men.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 14/01/2022 15:30

My line manager has no people kills and doesnt value them in other people.

Amateur Grin

deleteasappropriate · 14/01/2022 15:30

What's menopausal got to do with it?I'm 62 and shit hot with excel!

Original poster
notstacysmum · 14/01/2022 15:30

Also very interesting you've jumped on me accusing them of doing a shit job by accusing me of doing a shit job Wink

OP posts:
NearlyAHoarder · 14/01/2022 15:30

Ha ha yes !
He kills me with his death stare!

TheSixthSickSheik · 14/01/2022 15:31

Sounds like something that could be addressed through training. You’re their manager and it’s your responsibility to get them some.

deleteasappropriate · 14/01/2022 15:31

Also I think you mean you think it's a sex issue, not gender woo

Aprilx · 14/01/2022 15:31

YAB so U and plan ridiculous, I don’t even know where to start. You are not a shit feminist, you are a pure misogynist to label all women like that.

girlmom21 · 14/01/2022 15:31

@notstacysmum

Also very interesting you've jumped on me accusing them of doing a shit job by accusing me of doing a shit job Wink
Nobody here is managing you.
Aprilx · 14/01/2022 15:31

And ageist. WTF has menopause got to do with ability to use excel!

Pedalpushers · 14/01/2022 15:32

If you need to ask on here how to address issues within your team, then maybe you could work on your own management skills.

Original poster
notstacysmum · 14/01/2022 15:32

@NearlyAHoarder

Wow, im a woman, a menopausal woman tbf and my literary skills are better than required. Can't say the same for all of my colleagues, mostly younger. But they have spell check.

My manager didn't have my back when a customer complained about me when 9 was working within our processes.

As a manager it's important to be supportive to your staff.

I know this will sound passive agressive but i mean it very directly. You're a middle manager.

Support your staff to be who you need them to be.

Dont over value skills you have yourself while not noticing skills you lack.

My line manager has no people kills and doesnt value them in other people.

Good luck.

I'm not a middle manager at all.
OP posts:
gwenneh · 14/01/2022 15:32

The person I manage directly is fine- it goes wonky underneath that.

Then why aren't you addressing the issue with the person you manage?

It has nothing to do with menopause or being women and everything to do with poor management and shoddy organisational culture.

gwenneh · 14/01/2022 15:33

I'm not a middle manager at all.

So you're at the top of the org and you can't solve the problem?

RedRobyn2021 · 14/01/2022 15:33

I think you are being unreasonable tbh

I'm good with computers and I am a woman, I work with many women, I work for a woman.

Who can't use excel for gods sake?

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