Would you tell the other woman?

[Trippingslippingx1]

I met a guy who was 41/M no children on Bumble
He told me he was getting a divorce and they lived seperately Went on a few dates with him over the course of a few months I had an instinct a few things were up - he still followed his ex on his apple watch, she was still commenting on his photos on social media, he also told me the wrong number for his flat (92) when I put it into Uber on one of our dates to drop him off, then when he invited me his flat it was 61 (same road). He was very reluctant to have me over at first. I gave benefit of the doubt.

Last date I went on with him he had a drink in him and let a few things slip which gave me gut reaction that he may have been lying about getting a divorce. Followed my instinct and now glad I did.

They are still together - friend found them on social media recently pictured together with numerous comments about how lovely a couple they are. Had only known him a few weeks so not alot of time wasted.

Disappointed that someone would feel so little respect for other people that they could be potentially using them as ‘side chick’.

Feel a bit sick to be honest now I realise this but glad I got away.

AIBU to have an insane want to message him utter profanities and also tell her?
For the record I just made the quietest and most graceful exit I could and he is blocked everywhere.

Another HUGE warning flag ladies about these types - he did not use his real name on his social media (only initials) so he was difficult to find initially. Always always vet met online and be very careful. I read last night 30% of men on online dating are already married.

@AsYouWishButtercup

I’d want to know but IME telling the wife only ever ends up as the man manipulating everyone into thinking the OW is a crazy liar and he continues his life smelling of roses.

Agreed. And I guarentee he will go onto have a picture perfect child and family with her and social media will be flooded with pictures of the ‘cheeky cherubs’.

I just remembered another story about these apps - One time at my work I was speaking to a customer who knew full well I had dealt with his whole family and knew his wife. When he showed me something on his phone he had both Tinder and Bumble downloaded. This man is a 5ft 6 inch idiot who looks like the child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang - he already married up. No idea what these Men are really looking for. In all fairness I have known a couple of woman to use them whilst married so it is not gender specific.

Dating has never been harder, especially now with online dating apps. In the olden days, you met a potential partner in a pub (e.g.) and you were far more trusting of that person as there were fewer opportunities to meet other people. Unlike now, as people have hundreds of people at their fingertips. Essentially in the ‘pub’ (metaphor) 24/7 to meet dates.

I had a situation with a guy who I knew was married, but when he said that he was separating I started dating him. Only, he led me to believe the marriage was over. We only kissed, nothing more.

Now, I was quite naive and it was a cliche story. When I realised he wanted a affair I hoped it would go away and distanced myself. Only, he liked the attention and suddenly made his phone available to his wife, to see my text messages. The point was to make the wife jealous. Even after I ended things.

However, I wanted nothing to do with it only his wife phoned me and I was the bad guy in the situation. Threatening to tell my parents who I was an awful person. She didn’t. I just wanted it to go away and have peace.

So, my advice is to accept it for what it is. Leave him and his wife alone. Be the bigger person. The reason being that you might feel hurt but your reputation is everything.

You did the right thing. You have no idea what he's capable of if he gets angry, and it sounds cold but you have to prioritise your own safety over some random woman. I strongly suspect many of the posters encouraging you to spill the beans are hoping for some drama, and wouldn't follow their own advice in this situation.

It's always easier to blame the stranger than to see your loved and trusted life partner in a way that makes things untenable. Besides, we all know women get blamed for sexually incontinent men. There's a thread right now in which some twat has told his partner thar the mother of his child doesn't want him going there as she'll be breastfeeding, and all OP is asking is why women are so awful.

I couldn't count how many threads on here ask how an OW could be so shitty and ignore the man completely. It's as if whatever men get from ab affair - sex, excitement, whatever - is just this mad mystery in women, indeed a clear sign of how much they must in fact hate themselves.

@CountryGirl17

Dating has never been harder, especially now with online dating apps. In the olden days, you met a potential partner in a pub (e.g.) and you were far more trusting of that person as there were fewer opportunities to meet other people. Unlike now, as people have hundreds of people at their fingertips. Essentially in the ‘pub’ (metaphor) 24/7 to meet dates.

I had a situation with a guy who I knew was married, but when he said that he was separating I started dating him. Only, he led me to believe the marriage was over. We only kissed, nothing more.

Now, I was quite naive and it was a cliche story. When I realised he wanted a affair I hoped it would go away and distanced myself. Only, he liked the attention and suddenly made his phone available to his wife, to see my text messages. The point was to make the wife jealous. Even after I ended things.

However, I wanted nothing to do with it only his wife phoned me and I was the bad guy in the situation. Threatening to tell my parents who I was an awful person. She didn’t. I just wanted it to go away and have peace.

So, my advice is to accept it for what it is. Leave him and his wife alone. Be the bigger person. The reason being that you might feel hurt but your reputation is everything.

This is very interesting.

After I slept on it this morning I actually had the instinct to block them both on social media incase anything more comes of it. Even though I have not said anything to either of them. Weird. I have a really really bad feeling about them, this situation and everything surrounding it.

I am going to walk away.

On a much lighter note a definately NOT married and single man who knows my friend at work has asked me to go the thearte next weekend. He is gorgeous and works in the same field as me. Onwards and upwards. 👸🏼

Good news, OP. Good luck with it all and enjoy the show.

DP 1 was having sex with men. I wish someone had told me.
DP 2 was violent and abusive, got another woman pregnant, but told me.
DP 3 was seeing prostitutes and OLD. I wish someone had told me.
DP 4 has never looked at another woman or lost his temper with me.

I really wish I'd known what was going on behind my back, people hinted, but so subtly that I didn't know what they were trying to say.

He'll do it again and someone will tell her.

@Whatdramain2022

DP 1 was having sex with men. I wish someone had told me. DP 2 was violent and abusive, got another woman pregnant, but told me. DP 3 was seeing prostitutes and OLD. I wish someone had told me. DP 4 has never looked at another woman or lost his temper with me.

I really wish I'd known what was going on behind my back, people hinted, but so subtly that I didn't know what they were trying to say.

He'll do it again and someone will tell her.

It is difficult and sorry to hear you had such a horrible time.

Yes I am sure this ‘wandering eye’ will have been noted previously and he will do it again. It is amazing how these couples look so well put together on social media.