AIBU- Fellow school mum drives every morning

[Mybumlooksbig]

So..hope this doesn't out me.
We live in a very small close knit area. All kids attend the same school, lots of us live on the same few streets.
Every morning and pick up we ALL walk the kids to school, bar the few who have to rush off to work etc (it's a 5-10 min walk)
One parent on my street... drives! Big 4x4, she has NEVER once walked her DS.
She doesn't work, no where to rush off to. She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child..
Why does this iritate me so much??

Yabu- live and let live
Yanbu- she should be walking

Even if she is a lazy naff (great word!), with a direct remit from Satan to poison the lungs of every child walking on the pavement next to her, there's bugger all you can do about it. The walking crocodile idea sounds great in principle, but in practice, there's always a handful who don't want to use their legs. The only time I have seen car usage successfully drop on a school run was when the school carpark had to be dug up and there was nowhere easily accessible to drop the kids off. I felt sorry for disabled parents, but the walk to school was blissfully quiet.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

Given that this is MN, OP, where nobody can ever just be lazy - it’ll be a case of hidden disability/MH issues, may I suggest that the woman has a crippling case of walking-phobia. And very likely severe anxiety about leaving her SUV at home, in case anything happens to it - bird poo on the windscreen, etc.

What a nasty comment, and poking fun at the idea of people with disabilities.

A number of posters on the thread have clearly & honestly explained why they too need to drive short distances, for reasons that wouldn't be obvious to an outsider.

A lot of people are very concerned about climate change until the small things they can do to make a difference affects them. She is lazy and will probably be on here asking for advice because her DS’s a fat porker in a few years time.

@babiesof2022

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

What is it that the op has done that you class as "nosy"? She hasn't asked the person about it or gone through her mail or looked her up on Facebook.

You clearly have nothing better to do that post on MN yourself so you're a hypocrite to say others shouldn't.

None of your business - get a hobby!!

You never know someone medical condition. Not yours to judge! Yabu

[quote FreedomFaith]@EarringsandLipstick

Sorry you might think that, but you can't just walk every day to offset 4 holidays abroad, for example. It's not just one change that needs made, it's loads of changes.

We need to stop using cars at all really.
Stop eating meat.
Stop transporting food in from abroad.
Stop having loads of kids, two max.
Stop the production of plastic and anything that isn't absolutely essential.
Stop having holidays abroad at all.

We are too far gone to make small changes and hope for the best. But those changes above will never happen. Ever. As proven by this thread.[/quote]
Exactly! You are completely contradicting yourself.

There are lots of changes needed. Someone could potentially be driving short distances (not a great idea but might be necessary as explained to you, repeatedly) and living a wonderfully eco-friendly life otherwise.

You don't know.

Focus on changing yourself maybe?

Is she BU for always driving? Maybe, depends on several factors.

Are you BU for judging her not knowing her circumstances, posting about it here and no doubt gossiping about her? Absofuckinglutely.

I bet she sits there with the engine running too - it's called being selfish and self-centred.

It irritates me too. We walk every day, come rain or shine as it's a good habit to get DC into and it would take just as long to drive and fight through all the parents and work traffic to park up. Traffic by school is crazy! Some people live out of catchment so need to drive, some have to rush off to work, or they/their DC has an issue which prevents them walking, fair enough. There are many who could walk as they live on the same estate yet they don't, and they drive straight back to their houses after. There's one who drives in a ginormous Volvo, although you can see their house from where we drop off and pick up, and she drives straight back there after. I've always been a bit None of my business really, and judgmental, yes. But also so so unnecessary!

@PinkSyCo

A lot of people are very concerned about climate change until the small things they can do to make a difference affects them. She is lazy and will probably be on here asking for advice because her DS’s a fat porker in a few years time.

Vile comment. You're a disgrace.

Air pollution is the 4th biggest killer in the UK (in normal times).
There absolutely is a reason to give a shit about this.

Are you talking about me?
I start work at 8, before Covid no one knew of me driving DD since she had breakfast club and I went to the office after drop off, now I take a 10 min morning break to drive DD and get myself back in time for my 9am meeting - is it ideal? No, but it works… you don’t know the ins and outs…

None of your business. It isn't against the law to drive your child to school

What an awful thread.

A) You have no idea what hidden disabilities her or her dc may have.

B) You clearly just dislike the woman and wanted to get a self righteous froth on.

C) To all those lecturing about it, climate change is not a reason to be a sanctimonious, hypocritical judgeypants is it?

Unless you all NEVER fly anywhere, NEVER use a big supermarket but only buy from lots of local shops for everything as you can afford it, NEVER use buses/taxis/delivery services and NEVER eat meat or dairy then you are hardly helping either.

It’s funny isn’t it? This type of self righteous bore only froths about things they personally are happy to ‘give up’ (or never did anyway in the first place).

The bore lives in a great transport area, rely on family for lifts and never learnt to drive but orders shopping online and goes on a few holidays a year = ‘Look at that lazy bitch destroying the planet in her 4x4, she should walk everywhere like me!’

The bore is scared of planes or can’t afford them, but drives because they ‘need’ to = ‘Selfish cunts, why do they NEED to go to different countries for leisure?!’

And so on.

I drive my DD to nursery that’s literally 3 minutes from my door if driving. Why? Because I then go on to take DD1 to school & its on the way. I don’t have time or energy to walk 7/8 minutes to nursery, do handover, get back, get DD in the car & then onto school. It’s easier to just do everything en-route! Yes, I could get everyone up earlier but frankly, I’m up half the night with my teething toddler & I don’t want too.

Why do I drive to school? We are out of catchment (by choice) & school is up a frigging massive hill. It’s steep as all hell for the majority of the journey. My 4 year old finds it very tough going and so do I (& I’m a 4x a week runner and pretty fit). Soz to the haters, I’m gona keep driving & doing what I’m doing.

Do you follow this neighbours every move? Does she come straight home? Or does she go off & do jobs or whatever her day has planned straight after & it’s easier to have the car? People are so nosy. She probably just doesn’t want to walk with you given your opinion of her!

I don't think you unreasonable. The more cars on the road the more chance of them knocking down the kids that are walking.

Maybe she works from home like lots of people do and has to get back in time to start work. Either way I don’t see how it’s any of your business to be honest.

@EarringsandLipstick

No I'm saying she shouldn't be driving the car for less than a mile every day even if she has a completely eco friendly lifestyle otherwise.

I'm not particularly bothered to be honest. I'm not having kids because I know this world is screwed. But I would have thought parents would be concerned, just they never are really.

@Alisae

What an awful thread.

A) You have no idea what hidden disabilities her or her dc may have.

B) You clearly just dislike the woman and wanted to get a self righteous froth on.

C) To all those lecturing about it, climate change is not a reason to be a sanctimonious, hypocritical judgeypants is it?

Unless you all NEVER fly anywhere, NEVER use a big supermarket but only buy from lots of local shops for everything as you can afford it, NEVER use buses/taxis/delivery services and NEVER eat meat or dairy then you are hardly helping either.

It’s funny isn’t it? This type of self righteous bore only froths about things they personally are happy to ‘give up’ (or never did anyway in the first place).

The bore lives in a great transport area, rely on family for lifts and never learnt to drive but orders shopping online and goes on a few holidays a year = ‘Look at that lazy bitch destroying the planet in her 4x4, she should walk everywhere like me!’

The bore is scared of planes or can’t afford them, but drives because they ‘need’ to = ‘Selfish cunts, why do they NEED to go to different countries for leisure?!’

And so on.

Excellent post 👏👏👏

My DD is waiting for an ASD assessment. The crowds of parents and kids are really stressful for her. So she has a peaceful start to her day, I drive her the easily walkable distance to school. I'm sure I'm judged. I actually don't care. It's more important that DD is kept on an even keel.

You really don't know why this person drives. So please don't be judgey.

HTH.

Let's assume she's just lazy.

What business is it of yours? Is there anything you do that is 'lazy' or 'harmful to the planet'? Do you fly long haul? Drive when you could train?

Ive noticed, some people have very selective criteria for what they consider unacceptable. And it's always the things other people do.

I have a chronic but hidden condition. I have to pace myself every day. Please mind your own business.

She’s never offered you a lift has she?

No, thought not.

Whilst it is her choice it has a potentially significant impact on a lot of others.

1. local air pollution - Schools are often pollution hot spots, largely due to engine idling children. Kids in pushchairs and children walking past idling cars are more exposed than adults as they are closer to the exhaust.
2. road safety. The height of 4x4s means an average height adult often can't see over the roof so crossing a road between parked cars is more risky.
3. Impact of hitting a child. Whilst hopefully very very unlikely, if the worst happens and a pedestrian is hit by a conventional car the impact will be partially absorbed by the pedestrian rolling onto the bonnet, windscreen and over the top of a car. If a pedestrian is hit in a 4x4 it is like being hit by a brick wall. The height means they can't roll onto the bonnet, impact is higher and they are more likely to go under the car. To make it worse the height of the front of most 4x4 will hit the body of an adult (more chance of survival/less injury) but the head of a child. This and 4x4s blocking visibility when pedestrians are cross roads is why 4x4s are an awful choice of vehicle to drive around a school, residential area or anywhere where there will be lots of pedestrians, especially children.

So underlying health conditions aside it's possibly lazy to drive but that is her choice. We are all lazy sometimes. But this choice has a detrimental impact on others, made significantly worse by her choice of car.