Are these reasonable requests?

[Kaandii]

Background...
long distance relationship for 5 months, we video call daily, we had an argument and this is what he text after I blocked him on Facebook

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. BUT FOR US TO BE IN A HAPPY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, THESE THINGS ARE VERY IMPORTANT, IN ADDITION TO THE THINGS WE'VE TALKED ABOUT AT THE VERY BEGINNING OF THIS. HONESTY, OPENNESS, TRUST, RESPECT, EQUALITY.

YOU SHOULD BE WILLING TO DO THESE:

* I WANT ALL THE PROMISES YOU'VE EVER GIVEN ME TO BE KEPT. YOU CAN'T EVER TAKE THEM BACK UNDER ANY CIRCUSMTANCES

1. I wanna be unblocked and added on facebook (And need to be given the guarantee that such thing would never happen again on facebook or anywhere)

2. I would like any pics of you taken with other men removed from facebook. (If you wanna keep (CHILD) dads pics for (CHILD) you can have them privately somewhere, not on facebook for everybody to see). I can't understand why you insist on publicly displaying pics of him I don't need to explain to you how much it hurts me.

3. You have to work on controlling your anger. I will not tolerate you saying mean and abusive things to me. Remember how it made you feel when it was done to you.

4. You should tell your doctor everything. You might need treatment for more than depression

5. I should be able to ask you anything and you should be able to answer without getting mad and getting all defensive.

6. You need to stop trying to dictate me what to do. I've been putting up with that only because I love you very much, not because I am scared of you or you can control me. We are equal in this relationship so we would decide things together while showing mutual respect.

7. We need to be able to communicate under all circumstances. You need to answer the phone whenever I call. Communication is the key to everything.

I am certainly wanting to make this work. We have put in so much effort, time, feelings into this I don't want it all to go to a waste. I really don't want (CHILD) to think that I abandoned him too. I really wanna be around for him too. I hope this is how you feel too. I love you very much honey. I want us to be happy together forever.

Are his requests reasonable?

He is showing you lots of red flags, controlling, blaming you for his behaviour and only 5 months in, run.

Dear lord above dump and block this controlling arsehole immediately

Gosh, no. Run for the hills!

Get away from this person as fast as you can.

That's the type of message you would expect in a ransom note from a kidnapping or a bank robbery! Christ on a cracker!

Easy response:

BYE

And block him on everything.

Please please pleeeeeeeeeeease send that message above!!!!

@EKGEMS

That's the type of message you would expect in a ransom note from a kidnapping or a bank robbery! Christ on a cracker!

Christ on a cracker!!!! Hahahahaha

Run like fuck away from this lunatic and don't look back . Block him on everything and don't engage at all.

Fuck no. Run away from this loon.

Clearly he is wildly unreasonable. Total red flag!

He is giving you rules to follow.
You have to answer the phone at any time.
You aren't allowed to get upset whatever he says to you.

Not a chance you should be pursuing a relationship with a man like this.

He sounds like a Taliban leader.

Honestly the only response to that is a bunch of laughing emojis.

Is he 14? What a bellend.

Don't send anything back, don't engage, and keep him away from you, and more importantly, your child.
What on earth are you thinking getting them involved with this nut case??

No, this is not reasonable. It is carefully written to make it sounds reasonable - e.g. I agree with “communication is key” and that sounds perfectly reasonable but is quickly followed by “you must answer the phone whenever I call you” which is absolutely not reasonable.

I believe it’s purposely written like this to confuse you and make it sound like you are unreasonable if you reject this list of demands.

The end bit about not wanting your child to “feel that they have abandoned them too” is concerning. They are subtly using your child as emotional blackmail to make you stay / work things out.

.

If any of what he is implying about you in that message is true - if you do try to control or dictate, if you do lose your temper unreasonably - your best course of action is to get out of all relationships and work on yourself. Him even wanting a relationship with the sort of person he is painting you as is itself a huge red flag.

But regardless, no. Most of his demands are abusive and paint him as a controlling and nasty person.

Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction from this man.

As others have pointed out, it's completely hypocritical. You cannot "dictate" anything to him, yet here he is sending you a long list of demands and rules! Double standards everywhere, and screams of wanting to control you.

@anyfucker
This has to be a joke.

Wow! He needs to fuck right off.

@Kaandii

Yes I did already post this, I wanted to add the entire message he sent, just in case

In case of what? That the responses you get here are different?

I'd tell him to fuck off

We are equal in this relationship so we would decide things together while showing mutual respect.

I am speechless.

Zero self awareness is only the tip of the iceberg here.

He is telling you that you are deeply flawed and hard work, yet on the other hand he wants a relationship with you that lasts forever. To put it very mildly, this person is not relationship material.

Tell him he is never, ever, under any circumstances to contact you again.
Block, never unblock, and be prepared to go to the police to report stalking.

Red flag, red flag, red flag. Run for the hills. This is the sort of thing that my ex would say: he was a jealous, coercive, gaslighting, controlling psychopath. I find it worrying that you have a child… Men like this do not take kindly to other men’s children. Should you ever be foolish enough to continue this relationship and move in together, your child will suffer.

The poll is going near 50/50 but I'm unsure if I picked the right option . These requests are not reasonable. He is trying to control you and not even liviing nearby. The benefit is it is easier to block him and never see him again. I would do that and look for a guy who actually likes you Nd respect you.