To think age 21 is not a 'young mum'?

[546321yeah]

I fell pregnant with my daughter at 20, had her at 21. I am now referred to by a lot of people as a 'young mum'. I don't feel like 21 to have a child is young at all and 10 years on, I've gotten on with my life very well, just the same as I would have without having my child.

AIBU to think a young mum is someone about 15, 16, 17? Anything above that is normal age to have children?

Well it’s young because it is becoming a mother at the age when many young people would only just be coming out of full-time education.

I'd class 21 as a young Mum. At 21 none of my friends had children and didn't start having them until 27+

It's not as young as 16/17 but still young

I think young is 25/26 and under! I was still at uni at 21 having late nights and house parties and wondering what job I wanted to do but I thought I was very mature at the time. My mum was 21 when she had me and I know she definitely felt young and this was back in the 70s!

21 is a really young mum. Average age is 30

I think it's very young, though not in a bad way. People can be brilliant or terrible parents at any age.

@pollygartertidywife indeed, and is why posters are falling over themselves to declare they don't even KNOW anyone who had babies under 30, not in their circle, they're not common you know but they know this, it's all very facetious.

Of course 21 is a young Mum, you are at the start of your adult life.

I was pregnant at 20 had my first at 21. I didn’t consider myself young, although now that I am pushing 30 and others my age are just beginning to have children, I look back and realise just how young it was. I wouldn’t change things, but it is definitely very young!

21 is definitely a young Mum.

Beyind the extremes, it doesn't matter how old a new mother is really.

I would say it’s a young mum. Many people would have only just finished university at that age. I would say under 25 is a young mum.

People always bring up travelling. Not everyone does that, regardless of kids. It's not some kind qualifier to adulthood.

And being young doesn't impact ability to parent. Having a child at 22yos is still 22y more life than your baby. That's perfectly fine.

And for the last time, mothers are perfectly capable of going to university and having a job. This is 21st century Britain, not the Sahel

There's enough provision to live a happy life and turn out fine.

I totally agree with this post.
It may come as a huge shock but not every young adult wants to go to uni, nor do they want to travel. Heck I have friends in their 40s and 50s who have never had any inclination to travel. And guess what? Theres nothing wrong with them!

Have you gone to uni as a mature student with children

🙋‍♀️ me I did it about 15 years ago. Cant say I had any issues, only that I needed major surgery at one point. That caused problems!
I must have been ahead of my time because everyone seems to be doing it in my area. Loads of carer workers doing a Social Worker degree, blokes in their 40s doing politics or history degrees , two in my team ( with young children) dropping a days work so they can do a day at uni and then home study.
The mn group often comes across as one lump of people only seeing one way. School, travel, uni , career, parents pay for deposits etc. As if it is a one size fits all! Life isnt like that.

Young nowadays. My mum was 21 when she had me in 1962 having married at 19. At 25 I was considered an 'elderly prima gravida' or something equally charming.

I had mine at 18, 22 and 23. Youngest is 26 and I would think her too young!

Definitely young! Having my first DC here at 32, weirdly I felt more ready at 21 than I do now but I’ve got lots more life experience now!

Have you gone to uni as a mature student with children?

Yes, it was fine. Fair enough, depending on the course might be challenging.

It is young now. Back in the 70's maybe not so much. Most women had popped out babies by 21/22/23.

It's not being rude, it's just factual. If you were in America, you'd have only just started going to bars!

21 is defo a young mum. Almost all who have kids in their teens have them by drunken accident. It's like saying a person on mimimum wage isn't poor because homeless people are poorer.

I didn't want to go to uni and I had no money to travel apart from the few holidays I went on with dp. I prefer to holiday in this country anyway. By 25 my disability was really starting to affect my life. I'd had my hip replaced at 27. I am so so glad I had my kids early.

Teen mum is not the same as a young mum. You were definitely a young mum and would've been seen as such for the best part of the last 30 years. I think the average used to be 23ish.

A young mum doesn't mean a bad mum, it's just that, a young mum.

To be clear - there’s nothing wrong with being a young mum. But given that your brain isn’t even done developing until your mid 20s, I would consider anything below that young to be a parent.

@Doubledenimrock

At 21 you are going to need alot of practical and financial support off parents in order to carry on your life as if you did not have a child.

Firstly - not necessarily. I had some support with childcare one day a week so I didn't have to use full time nursery but there are mums of all ages having help with that.

Secondly - WTF?? Why are you assuming that these "young mums" want to continue their lives as they were before? Why can't a change in lifestyle to being a parent a positive thing? We don't all want to continue clubbing and partying you know

Good to have young if you're relying on grandparents for childcare. Every day I see worn out women in their 70s pushing babies around and trying to control toddlers

'Young mum' is shorthand for none of the above.Therefore not middle class. It's a code to keep the class system alive and kicking

Isn't it normal for aristocracy/umc to have dc quite young. That was my perception.

My mum had me at 21, in the 70s it was commonplace. She had my brother 10 years later and now admits that she did a much better job with him because she was older.