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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have never really done the school run?

266 replies

Veeveeoxox · 12/01/2022 15:16

DD is 8 and in Year 4 for the first time in a long time I am picking her up directly from school. She goes to breakfast club at the local nursery and then after school club they pick her up and drop her off. I love it as there's no waiting for the teacher and no parents there either, my social anxiety loves it. Even if I'm off work I still take her to breakfast club and after-school club I just pick her up earlier. Does anyone else do this just because they loathe the school run ? Grin

OP posts:
BreakingGood45 · 13/01/2022 07:53

I had no idea that people felt this way about the school run. I do enjoy it. I love chatting to my kids. Then they find their friends and I chat to the other parents. Just a fun way to start the day.

DirtyDancing · 13/01/2022 07:56

I love seeing the kids at the end of the day, it's like they haven't seen me for a year! It's a bit of a logistical ball ache, but I get all their news and blues from the day. I really believe it gives them an opportunity to download to me, tell what went well and if they had any problems. I find by the time we get home they are lighter if it's not been a good one.

In terms of seeing parents it's really a case of standing at a gate. I'm not there to socialise but it's nice to be polite and say hi to people.

PinchOfVom · 13/01/2022 08:00

School run for me is about 32 miles return journey

Absolutely love when I can dodge it
Feel like I spend my entire time in the car

Having said that we do have lots of fin in the car. Best chats and mucho horsing about

XelaM · 13/01/2022 08:02

People are so weird to get worked up about something so small as the school run. What on Earth is so scary about it?!

youtown · 13/01/2022 08:06

Don't have kids but I would dread school run purely because I don't like talking to anyone am I very busy person always on the go I don't have time for bullshit chit chat. So the reason I'd hate it is because I'd have to end up being the rude closing people off because I don't want to talk and that takes energy!

If I didn't have such a time intensive job and had time I'd probably enjoy it

NerrSnerr · 13/01/2022 08:12

@youtown

Don't have kids but I would dread school run purely because I don't like talking to anyone am I very busy person always on the go I don't have time for bullshit chit chat. So the reason I'd hate it is because I'd have to end up being the rude closing people off because I don't want to talk and that takes energy!

If I didn't have such a time intensive job and had time I'd probably enjoy it

No one has to talk to anyone. I have about 3 friends on the school run, if I happen to see them I'll chat to them. If I don't see them I don't talk to anyone. There is no need to make small talk with people you don't know. It's not full of people making small talk to strangers, people chat to who they know or want to chat to or just stand quietly and wait.
CaptainChannel · 13/01/2022 08:13

I've started doing it for the first time as I've just started working from home. I don't like anything about it tbh - standing around in the cold with people whose children happen to be in the same class as mine. I just say a polite hello and then grab the kids and go!
My kids really like me collecting them so from that pov it's nice.

Roosk · 13/01/2022 08:14

@youtown

Don't have kids but I would dread school run purely because I don't like talking to anyone am I very busy person always on the go I don't have time for bullshit chit chat. So the reason I'd hate it is because I'd have to end up being the rude closing people off because I don't want to talk and that takes energy!

If I didn't have such a time intensive job and had time I'd probably enjoy it

That’s a bit mad. Lots of the other people dropping kids also have busy, absorbing jobs. The parents of DS’s classmates include doctors, nurses and academics because there are two hospitals and a university nearby — we all just wave, drop and go, by and large. It’s a bit much to assume everyone but you is so under-employed they are hanging about looking for ‘bullshit chitchat’.
Gazelda · 13/01/2022 08:26

Mine is at secondary now, but I miss the school run.
I loved spending time with DD when she'd witter on about random things, tell me about the funniest thing that happened during the day, share her friendship woes while they're fresh in her mind and I can help her find perspective so drama is forgotten about by tea time, we'd have time to practice her spellings, we'd sometimes pop into a shop and buy a bun after school. And so many more precious memories.
I count myself as very lucky to have been able to do this with DD.
I also made great friends with other mums, ignored the cliques, got to know the staff at school quite well and was able to help out on the PTA.

phoenixrosehere · 13/01/2022 08:37

Well if you’re so sure you’re right, why start a thread about it?

How did you even come to that conclusion from her response? Also, why are you so sure you know more about what her child likes or dislikes when it comes to those clubs?

CurtainTroubles · 13/01/2022 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Momicrone · 13/01/2022 08:47

32 mile round journey? That would definitely put me off the school run, we've always walked

Thethreecs · 13/01/2022 08:47

If it works for you then you are doing right. It's important to not get stressed unnecessarily. There was nothing like that available when mine were younger. I spent so much time stressed and anxious. I had the comments from teachers, then the parents, God, both those stressed me out.

If people don't experience idiot parents and teachers who like to grab you for a 'quick word' which leaves you feeling like a rubbish parent then it's hard for them to understand that people do stress doing the school run.

Do what works for you, if your child is happy then that's an added bonus.

Knickynackynoo · 13/01/2022 08:55

I have the same experience as @pinkiepiee I only started doing it in Sept and its awful.

I used to be very confident, senior roles etc.very adept at networking and small talk but have only had one small part time role since 2017 and my confidence and ability to do the above has plummeted, coupled with what Pinkie said about most parents not being very nice it has given me quite terrible anxiety. I have never being with such a large group of (adult) stranger to cohorts where people are openly hostile in such high numbers, there's people who have never said good morning they just sneer/glare or look through us (my DH has noticed the same, he thinks it's odd but couldn't give a toss).

Knickynackynoo · 13/01/2022 08:56

But... I must add I love being able to walk their and drop DC off, I've not gone this morning (yay!) And they were a bit sad, which makes me sad!

somewhereoverthechipshop · 13/01/2022 08:59

My son wouldn’t be happy about being sent to breakfast club unnecessarily. I’m sure your child would rather go with you. Might be worth seeing a doctor about your anxiety.

DappledThings · 13/01/2022 09:00

I've loved WFH so I can do it more often, DH too. It means a lot to DS when he gets picked up at normal end of the day and not from ASC.

I was working out this week how I can re-jig my hours once DC2 starts in September so they only have to go to ASC twice a week not three times and I'm looking forward to the extra chance to be there for pick up.

There's no chatting at drop-off, everyone is just on their way. Pick-up there is a bit while waiting for them to come out. It's not a big social occasion.

NerrSnerr · 13/01/2022 09:02

I have never being with such a large group of (adult) stranger to cohorts where people are openly hostile in such high numbers, there's people who have never said good morning they just sneer/glare or look through us (my DH has noticed the same, he thinks it's odd but couldn't give a toss).

Are you sure they're not just concentrating on picking/ dropping off the kids, thinking about what they need to do when they get to work, what they're cooking for tea or picking up from Tesco? If they're openly hostile what do they say?

I'll be honest, I don't say good morning to everyone I walk past or see on the school run, only the people I know. If you said good morning to everyone it'd just be endless 'good morning, good morning, good morning' and that just seems bonkers.

Tohaveandtohold · 13/01/2022 09:02

I drop my DD off most mornings, I’m an introvert and still can’t see any problem with it. Most people are just polite, some smile and you say hi. I’m only there for 2 minutes at most before the door is open. I however hate the traffic. She does after school club though

HardbackWriter · 13/01/2022 09:04

But how can people win?! Half the comments on this thread are people complaining that the school run is the most terrible thing ever because people might talk to them, the other half is people complaining it's awful because people are unfriendly and don't say hello!

Momicrone · 13/01/2022 09:04

Knovknacknoo - have you counted all the parents in the school and categorically worked out that most of them 'are nit very nice'? Have you ever thought that's just your perception rather than an absolute truth?

Momicrone · 13/01/2022 09:04

*not very nice

Oneforthemoneytwo · 13/01/2022 09:06

Thank god all the primary schools mine went to just left them at the gates and weren’t allowed into the playground. This was from reception. In the afternoon I got there just as school ended, grabbed them and went home.

Emerald5hamrock · 13/01/2022 09:09

Whatever suits you.
I don't see why anyone gets severally distressed it isn't worth it.
Drop then go.
I don't particularly dislike anyone at the school but I don't hang around.
A quick smile does the job.
Anyone who is under pressure delete group chat it wouldn't help.

middleager · 13/01/2022 09:15

I did every single school run for primary. There was no time to obsess about it though as I was dashing to and from work.

Mine are y11 at secondary now, and due to complex school arrangements, I spend 90 mins in cars each day, driving, as does DH. Now that is a royal PITA.