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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have never really done the school run?

266 replies

Veeveeoxox · 12/01/2022 15:16

DD is 8 and in Year 4 for the first time in a long time I am picking her up directly from school. She goes to breakfast club at the local nursery and then after school club they pick her up and drop her off. I love it as there's no waiting for the teacher and no parents there either, my social anxiety loves it. Even if I'm off work I still take her to breakfast club and after-school club I just pick her up earlier. Does anyone else do this just because they loathe the school run ? Grin

OP posts:
TabithaTittlemouse · 12/01/2022 16:54

I’m really sad that I didn’t get to do it often because of work. I was a stranger to other parents at the gate when I did do it.
Now they are teens/adults I really wish I had done it more.

AFS1 · 12/01/2022 16:54

I love dropping my son to school and picking him up after. He’s at his most chatty on the walks to and from school. It’s the one thing I’m grateful to covid for, because since working from home I get to do it most days. My daughter had to go to breakfast and afterschool club most days and hated it. She wanted to be picked up straight from school like most of her friends. I can’t understand why it would cause so much anxiety or why someone would need to build themselves up to it over a 2 hour period. If I’m in the mood to chat, I’ll head over to people I know. If not, I’ll get my phone out and look busy. I’ve never encountered any drama or bother at any time.

Bluebluemoon39 · 12/01/2022 16:55

I loathe the school run but only bc I have 4 dc's and have been doing it for eons! I'm sick of the place.

I just can't wait to not do the school run so I can stay in my pj's if I feel like it. At the moment it's not too bad as it's cold so I can just shove my coat and hat on and change my trousers and I'm ready to go!

I'm quite lazy as you can probably tell. Oh and yes, I hate small talk.

RedCandyApple · 12/01/2022 16:55

No one talks at our one either, the other parents don’t see particularly chatty or friendly at our school
So I don’t chat to anyone but that doesn’t bother me I just hate having to go out at such a busy time when I would rather not 😒

BoredZelda · 12/01/2022 16:56

I dropped my daughter separately at the school office and picked her up from after school club. I never really did the “school run” either.

Inastatus · 12/01/2022 16:57

I think it’s sad that your DD still has to do breakfast club and after school club even when you are off work just because you cant face picking her up.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 12/01/2022 16:59

For most of her Primary school life Dd got taken to school and picked up by my parents as I was at work. I'm glad I didn't have to do it every day but nothing beat seeing the big smile on her face as she ran out of the classroom on the odd occasion I managed to pick her up.

PurpleThursdays · 12/01/2022 16:59

I love the school run because I only get to do it one day a week. I usually take my kids to breakfast club and then they go to afterschool club too whilst I work. I feel sorry for them as they are at school for a longer time than I am at work for (my commute is 45 mins each way). I have one day a week where I get to be the normal "take the kids to school and pick them up again" mum I love it because I love seeing their faces light up when they see me at the school gates. So precious to me.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 12/01/2022 17:00

I think it’s sad that your DD still has to do breakfast club and after school club even when you are off work just because you cant face picking her up.

Snort. My DS would do breakfast club and teatime club every day if I let him. It's like a giant playdate where they eat jam sandwiches and talk shite about Pokémon. It's not the orphanage.

PurpleThursdays · 12/01/2022 17:01

I certainly dont chat to anyone unless it's the teachers, and I smile at the mums I do know but that's all.

pastypirate · 12/01/2022 17:02

E wry school run is a gift to me and makes me feel like I'm giving the dds a normal supported school life.

onedayoranother · 12/01/2022 17:04

School run is a chore but it didn't cause me any anxiety. No issues with any people and it was nice to put faces to names. We also did a weekly post drop off coffee morning every week - 8.15am so working mums could come for a bit too. That really helped in getting to know people and how the school worked (as kids joined Y2 and 4).
But I know people who have only done it a handful of times, usually because they work long hours though.

TheAverageUser · 12/01/2022 17:08

My son starts school this year, what's the issue with the school run?? Why is it awful?

SlashBeef · 12/01/2022 17:10

I love the school run. I was always in some kind of after school club or childcare and I remember always wishing my parents could pick me up so I'm glad to be able to do it now as a parent. I don't understand why people make such a drama of it thought. You're going to collect your child, it's not a fashion parade or a huge social function.

Inastatus · 12/01/2022 17:12

@TheYearOfSmallThings

I think it’s sad that your DD still has to do breakfast club and after school club even when you are off work just because you cant face picking her up.

Snort. My DS would do breakfast club and teatime club every day if I let him. It's like a giant playdate where they eat jam sandwiches and talk shite about Pokémon. It's not the orphanage.

I’m well aware of what breakfast/after school clubs are like and I know that many (not all) children enjoy them. The OP has said her DD does attend both clubs every day but even when she has that time to spend with her DD on her days off she feels unable to pick her up because she can’t face the normal school run.
Inastatus · 12/01/2022 17:13

Sorry, forgot to tag you in my reply @TheYearOfSmallThings

phoenixrosehere · 12/01/2022 17:14

Why is the school one so different to the preschool one?

Systems for me. Preschool one is efficient and parents wait in line and the kids go in they ask how they are and we say goodbye and get a report after after pick-up. School one, free for all and spend it swerving and asking if I can get past trying to get my child to school and their specific gate.

I was pre-warned about the school run and thought it’s just taking my child to school, why would that be difficult?

I don’t mind small chat as long as its not in other people’s way, that’s my bugbear.

crazyjinglist · 12/01/2022 17:15

I never understood why people hate the school run. If you want to chat to people, do. Otherwise you just go there and drop off/pick up your child. I totally understand that social events provoke social anxiety in some people,but the school run really isn't (or doesn't have to be) a social event.

Inastatus · 12/01/2022 17:15

@TheAverageUser

My son starts school this year, what's the issue with the school run?? Why is it awful?
@TheAverageUser - it’s not awful for lots of people. I used to love doing it and miss it now they are older.
pinkiepiee · 12/01/2022 17:19

@TheAverageUser

My son starts school this year, what's the issue with the school run?? Why is it awful?
So my dd just started school and after our friendly nursery I was really taken aback by the unfriendly parents.

Not all by any means but a few have blanked me and not returned a smile and then rushed over to chat with a parent they know. I was so surprised as I have literally never not made friends at every stage of my life. I'm quite friendly!

Makes me feel a bit weird but I have to go twice a day so it can feel a bit relentless.

But as I say my dd really likes to be taken and collected by me or DH. And I know no one has to be friendly - it's cool.

MakeMineALarge1 · 12/01/2022 17:19

I genuinely don't get why people get so bloody wound up about it, talk if you want to or don't talk, smile and nod, its just basic manners.

I think its a lovely time to chat and hold your childs hand and you do miss it when they go to secondary.

Subulter · 12/01/2022 17:19

Even when DS was at a village school in a fairly spectacularly unfriendly place where my best efforts to integrate had failed, I didn't dread the school run the way that seems to be a Mn norm -- I said hello and nodded politely to people, but the important part was picking up DS, who was very pleased to see me. Standing by myself in the yard day after day, after I'd more or less given up on making overtures wasn't the most fun I've ever had, but it wasn't going to kill me, either.

These days, in another country, I actively enjoy it -- it's a pleasant city walk of just over a mile, a nice chance to chat to DS, and even though he's only newly at the school, with lots of long breaks because of lockdowns, I've made some good friends among the other parents. Even today, I got talking to a woman I'd never spoken to before, who turned out to be a neighbour and really interesting. It's also nice to see DS's teacher, who will flag up anything that needs my input.

I don't understand the stress about it either. When I wasn't WFH and was in a hurry, I just dropped and ran. There's no compulsion to talk to people, and surely weaving around people blocking your path is a minor inconvenience to most people?

KeebleSaidIt · 12/01/2022 17:21

I used to love it till I saw the notes written about me by the school as they had been observing me and my behaviour at drop off / pick up it was horrendous to read ! The HT was absolutely mad she had got into her head there was an issue so observed me and made copious amounts of notes In a diary but i did a SAR and was able to read it all - never did the school run again after that

Cam2020 · 12/01/2022 17:22

This. I don't see why the school run is such a big deal. You just take them, wait til the bell goes then leave. Talk to people if you want to or don't if you don't want to.

My experience is similar and I've never encountered any drama or bitchiness, but some places have that kind of culture and some don't, I suppose.

MakeMineALarge1 · 12/01/2022 17:24

@KeebleSaidIt

I used to love it till I saw the notes written about me by the school as they had been observing me and my behaviour at drop off / pick up it was horrendous to read ! The HT was absolutely mad she had got into her head there was an issue so observed me and made copious amounts of notes In a diary but i did a SAR and was able to read it all - never did the school run again after that
Who was writing notes about you? Surely there must have been some reason to start/ some ongoing inntervention? The playground is teaming in a morning and afternoon so why out of all the parents there would someone decide to write notes about you?
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