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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How often should I shower?

999 replies

grosstonotshower · 12/01/2022 10:36

Ok so I'm having a few drinks with friends last night. We are all female a mix of parents and non parents. One friend mentions she is struggling to find time for o shower every day since she had her baby. I said "well I don't shower every day without a young baby," All of my friends looked at me in horror. Apparently even the ones with kids shower daily. Full disclosure I have two dd one under five and I work part time. I shower on work days plus one extra day so usually three times a week my days off usually consist of playing at home, walking dog, school run and maybe park. I would shower extra if exercising/having sex/on period etc. I bath my dc three times a week. My oh works out every week day so he does shower more than me. AIBD? (Disgusting 😂)

OP posts:
VelmaandShaggy · 12/01/2022 12:00

Every 4 days roughly. I have clean clothes, bedding etc, don't go to the gym, so I am clean and smell good. I expect that horrifies some people Grin

AliveAndSleeping · 12/01/2022 12:01

If it wasn't for the kids I'd shower every day but then I absolutely love showers and I do get smelly if I don't. If you don't smell then you needn't shower every day of course. Better for your skin and better for the planet.

Bummocks123 · 12/01/2022 12:01

I always love these threads as they are almost like a snap shot of social norms in motion.

As demonstrated by this thread, the norm is to shower daily. It's very common for people to say that they just don't feel clean if they don't do so.

But realistically, what is clean? As people have mentioned this has changed over time as nobody used to bath/shower daily in the 80s and that wasn't considered gross.

I'm so interested in what this thread would be like in 20 years time! You have some people who shower more than once a day and some who shower less. There are arguments for both. I wonder which will win out!

For me, I do make an active choice to not shower every day if I can avoid it. It saves resources and I find my skin does much better doing so. However, I WFH a lot and always shower before going into the office to avoid potential judgment 😂

notyouagainn · 12/01/2022 12:01

@ravenmum

I said "well I don't shower every day without a young baby," All of my friends looked at me in horror. So they had no clue, i.e. you are not smelly or dirty looking as you wash with water from the sink instead of water from the shower. It's the same water, works just as well, and there's less waste. Which news outlet do you work for?
😂😂 do you think this is a survey?
RandomLondoner · 12/01/2022 12:02

I shower twice daily, as that was what was required at boarding school 40-45 years ago.

I wash hair once a day because otherwise my hair is too oily. I'm familiar with the idea that washing it induces more oil, and that if you leave it long enough it will self-regulate, but when I've tried to not wash it for a few days, the feeling of it being sticky and horrible has always made me give up before the self-regulation got going.

I sometimes have a third/extra shower if I don't feel clean enough after going to the toilet at home.

I once read online the account of a man, who said that when he was younger he had a girlfriend who was a model, and she only showered once a week, because she thought water was bad for her skin. He said she always seemed clean to him, and that she smelled nice, to the extent she smelled at all.

OhdearOhdearOhdearIndeed · 12/01/2022 12:03

I shower twice a day, including washing my hair in the morning. I'm a sweaty girl, even without exercise and can't get into bed without having showered first. Keeps the bedsheets fresher too. I've known people who have been a lot worse than washing every other day.

My OH showers everyday, but he hardly sweats and probably doesn't need to everyday. I think it depends on how you feel and how sweaty you are.

Restart10 · 12/01/2022 12:03

Sorry 3x a week is just grim. No excuse. When your kids are asleep at night, surely you have 10 mins? Having a shower daily is like brushing teeth to Me.

Lavender24 · 12/01/2022 12:03

I shower at least once a day. I think it's pretty gross to not watch armpits and crotch daily. It doesn't have to be a long shower - can be done in under a minute as a PP said.

Horst · 12/01/2022 12:03

The only time I don’t shower daily is when camping.

Im2022 · 12/01/2022 12:04

Winter: 3 times a week is plenty whilst I’m wfh. I shower my body in the morning the days I’m working in the office.

Summer: Try to everyday. Sometimes twice. Hair included. Definitely full shower when going into the office.

DH is a daily showerer. Even in winter. He has shorter hair though and doesn’t take more than 10 mins in the shower.

As long as you don’t stink, who cares?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 12/01/2022 12:04

@Lavender24

I shower at least once a day. I think it's pretty gross to not watch armpits and crotch daily. It doesn't have to be a long shower - can be done in under a minute as a PP said.
Can it indeed. Are you on the list for multiple joint replacements? Do you suffer with mobility and fatigue? Under a minute. Not everyone is as privileged as you
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 12/01/2022 12:05

@Restart10

Sorry 3x a week is just grim. No excuse. When your kids are asleep at night, surely you have 10 mins? Having a shower daily is like brushing teeth to Me.
No excuse? None at all? Really?
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 12/01/2022 12:05

The abelism on MN is astounding.

rainbowdancegirl · 12/01/2022 12:06

I shower every morning even if I'm not going out, sometimes twice in the summer if I feel too hot in the afternoon or before bed etc

Phrowzunn · 12/01/2022 12:06

Love these threads! Competitive over-washing. I have a 2yo and 4yo and shower twice a week. I’ve never showered every day, even before children. I forget to put on deodorant most days because it’s pretty rare that I actually sweat 😂 people are just different. You do you OP but people will get very uptight if you admit it! I honestly can’t fathom why they care so much about when or how often other people are washing their own bodies!

SockFluffInTheBath · 12/01/2022 12:07

@VelmaandShaggy

Every 4 days roughly. I have clean clothes, bedding etc, don't go to the gym, so I am clean and smell good. I expect that horrifies some people Grin
I’m very jealous actually Grin
terriblyangryattimes · 12/01/2022 12:07

I shower ever other day, sometimes pus it to day 3 if I've not left the house (IE over Xmas hols or a last weekend) but wash the 'important' parts obviously daily

ravenmum · 12/01/2022 12:07

do you think this is a survey?
Several cheapo news outlets have been known to write "articles" based on threads on Mumsnet when they can't be bothered to do actual research, and when a user pops up to start a thread of that kind then vanishes, the suspicion is that it's a particularly desperate case.
Fair enough if their employer is especially tight, I'd say.

CounsellorTroi · 12/01/2022 12:09

@ravenmum

Anyone who stinks within 12-24 hours of showering might like to try using washing products that do not contain actual soap, as it removes your skin's natural protective barrier, encouraging the growth of smelly bacteria. (Washing too frequently has the same effect.) Look for products with a pH of around 5. (Soap has a pH of 9-10.)
Plus, sodium laureth sulfate, which is the lathering agent present in most shampoos and shower products, is really bad for your skin, it disrupts the natural oils that protect it. Seems to make me itchy too. I use E45 shower cream which is non lathering and unperfumed, plus SLS free shampoo and conditioner.
ravenmum · 12/01/2022 12:09

@LuckyAmy1986

I wash in the sink every morning without fail and put deodorant on, so not showering =/= not washing

What does washing in the sink involve please? Would it not be easier to have a quick shower?

No, it's easier to have a quick wash in the sink, is more environmentally friendly and saves heating costs. I won't add instructions as it's not hard to work out imho.
Spudlet · 12/01/2022 12:10

There are also a lot of assumptions here about people's homes and finances - the assumption that everyone has a shower that can just be flicked on to the correct temperature with enough hot water available, or can afford to heat the bathroom to a temperature that makes showering a pleasant experience as opposed to an endurance challenge, or can afford to pay the energy bills without worrying. Not everyone has these things. Someone living in a freezing home may well not want to strip down and get wet on a daily basis, and I don't blame them!

grapewine · 12/01/2022 12:10

Rising energy bills means every other day in general. But I always shower if I have to leave the house.

Kanaloa · 12/01/2022 12:12

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

The abelism on MN is astounding.
If the op had a disability that prevented her from washing or showering daily then she would have done well to mention it. As it is it seems it’s based on her not feeling she has time to do it.

I’m sure pp’s who have said it takes a short time are obviously not referring to those who are bedbound/disabled/don’t have access to hot running water etc etc etc.

slapmyarseandcallmemary · 12/01/2022 12:12

Shower every day. Feel grotty if I don't. I have a 4yr old, 2yr old and am 31 weeks pregnant. I'd be too paranoid I'd smell of I didn't shower daily.

guineapigs · 12/01/2022 12:12

When ever I feel that I need a shower. I don't shower everyday because I don't have physically demanding or dirty job. I don't like taking shower either so only shower when needed