To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight?

[5YearsLeft]

I had a day that just really banged me about, physically, emotionally, just all the ways, and now, I’m laying here awake and staring at the ceiling.

So why are you awake? Crying baby? Can’t stop thinking? Worried about something tomorrow? Pain somewhere in your body being an arsehole?

Welcome?

Wide awake after arguing with 'D'H for the past hour after ignoring me all day 🙄

@RosieLemonadeAndSugar Oh gosh, talk about a situation that’s NOT conducive to drifting off into restful sleep. Any chance you can both cool off for 30 minutes, admit that while you’re angry, you still love each other, and then table it until tomorrow? I know so many people say don’t go to bed angry, but trying to finish an argument when you’re both exhausted can be difficult, tiring, and toxic. And if that’s not an option… well, maybe try to do something that’s soothing for you so you can get some rest (favorite book, favorite TV show for a bit, etc)? Since unfortunately, tomorrow will only be harder if you’re tired and then you’ll be extra angry at him for making you tired, ha.

Worrying about work. I'm managing a change management process for a large team and everyone is behaving appallingly. I've barely eaten all week as anxiety is sky high. Not stopped shaking all day, it's exhausting and more of the same tommorow.

Seriously considering going off sick and letting my bosses deal with it!

Dwelling on my childminder conundrum mostly. I'm so pissed off I can't go to sleep

Just been chatting on Facebook messenger with my dp who lives a long way away.

@FavouriteMug You know, I’ll never be able to figure out why people come to work and then treat others at work appallingly; is it that they somehow forget that coworkers are humans, who have their own families and worries and problems, and come in to work to do their jobs and not deal with extra shite? I just don’t know. It sounds like the situation is stressful enough, and then the people involved have pushed you right over the edge you were standing on. Who could blame you for considering a sick day? Honestly, with that level of stress, taking a sick day by choice before you need one due to stress, isn’t an all together terrible idea! But I also understand the idea of needing to be there because even if it makes you feel more stressed for a moment is less stressful than leaving it to someone else. Argh. Such a catch-22. I hope you can find some rest, beyond your work worries, as difficult as it is.

@rooarsomen oh no, that really, really doesn’t sound good. Hard enough and then you had to deal with extra of whatever is going on. Child minder stress of course going to chase you since your children matter so much. How just terribly frustrating from top to bottom; I’m so sorry!

@Dillydollydingdong Oh no; distance can really be awful sometimes,’and it seems to never get easier. Though in some ways it’s good that it never gets easier, as that just means your feelings for them are them are unchanged. But it also means that your heart hurts. Which is crap.

I'm busy getting annoyed at posts on MN. . And I have to be up in 4h. I need to get off this site but it's not like things are so great irl either. Not terrible but just sad and stressful. I wish I'd taken my mum on a nice holiday for just the two of us when I still could. A holiday where we just did what she wanted. No one ever listens to what she wants. I don't think she even listens to herself. I must be nicer. At least I can do that. I don't know if I can but I should. Though what's the point now after 80 years? But then doesn't the now matter? Of course it matters to be nice now even if I can't undo all the unfairness of the Past. Including my own. I just wish I could go back twenty years and Do everything differently. Stwnd up for my mum. For myself. I wish there was a way to go back and take hindsight with me.

3h and 40 min. I need to sleep.

Good evening (morning?!) I’m still awake again. I tried so hard to get to sleep at a reasonable time but it just passes by and now it’s 2.20am already!
Tempted to get up and make myself a cup of (decaf) coffee and go and have a cigarette but I know that will probably just keep me awake for longer!
How’s your day been?

Oh no and th nrxt wordle should be available now. Oh no. Must sleep. The funny thing is that I found a wordle website in my mother tongue as well so now I can do two day, which is so cool.

Ok. Must sleep.

@Silentraindrops

Good evening (morning?!) I’m still awake again. I tried so hard to get to sleep at a reasonable time but it just passes by and now it’s 2.20am already! Tempted to get up and make myself a cup of (decaf) coffee and go and have a cigarette but I know that will probably just keep me awake for longer! How’s your day been?

I quit smoking more than five years ago but I'd love to have a cup of coffee and a cigarette now. I miss it so much. I don't think I've ever fully relaxed again after quitting.

Anyway hope you get some sleep soon or spend some nice time being awake.

@KitchenTowel I quit and stayed quit when pregnant and breastfeeding but after a while both times I ended up starting again. Since then I’ve given up here and there for months at a time but always start again! No willpower! I feel guilty for it sometimes.
I can only drink decaf really now as my anxiety is so debilitating and caffeine makes it worse.
Thank you, you too! I have an extra hour than you do until I need to be awake again but I’m so wide awake right now I don’t know how many hours or minutes that it’ll end up being!

I'm sitting here willing myself to go to bed but feel too on edge to sleep. DH is away with work til tomorrow and NDN has had a particularly bad day (he has dementia) and has been knocking my door with random (and often non-existent) problems all day/evening. Last knock was 10.30pm and I hate answering the door after dark (was attacked a few years ago) so I've ended up with a horrible knot of anxiety in my stomach. Feel very sorry for NDN, he has little support and social services aren't stepping up (despite mine and other neighbours efforts) but I'm finding days like today increasingly hard. Someone tell me to go to bed, and why I've put so much of this post in brackets! I'm very tired but so tense I keep having to consciously unclench my teeth 😬

@KitchenTowel If they’re worth getting annoyed about, they might not be real, ha. Often the rule of thumb. So don’t let it get to you. I’ve made that mistake before - letting a thread get to me. And then the whole thing got deleted and I thought, “I’ll never get that bloody time back.” If it is real, well, still don’t let it bother you. Because you can never get that time back either, har har. As for your mum, I don’t think it’s ever too late. I can understand if you feel guilty, and sometimes you just need to feel what you feel then come out the other side. Don’t punish yourself for the last 20 years. The past is gone, so you can feel like that about it, which is normal, but at the same time decide if you want to change so that when next week moves into the past, for example, you no longer have to feel like you haven’t been kind enough to your mum. And even if she doesn’t seem to care and she’s over 80 now… then that means this is more about the kind of person you want to be. And it sounds like you want to be the kind of person who has kindness and compassion for their mum, that stands up for themselves, too. And you can still be that person, today. Why not? I wish you very, very good luck with it.

Also, that’s interesting, that you never felt relaxed after quitting smoking. It sounds like maybe you just need something there. NOT smoking again, har har, but anything, from knitting scarves for orphaned kittens to reading books before they’re published in exchange for reviews on NetGalley (NOT just Wordle, that damn game, I only get it on the third or fourth try, ha). Just something to unwind your mind, maybe.

And I hope you’ve fallen asleep to get your slightly less than 3h40m now!

@Silentraindrops I totally get it. Sometimes when you’re wide awake, the best you can do is just give in and have the cup of tea/coffee, get up, do whatever. I’m about to have another cup of tea myself (cold, can’t sleep anyway, etc). I do hope maybe your wide awake feeling wears off a wee bit before you need to be up and you get at least a small rest!

@IcicleIcicle Oh no. That’s so incredibly tough. I can understand that it would be really difficult to sleep when you have that anxiety-knot in your stomach (it doesn’t feel quite like anything else; not nervousness or happiness that makes you jittery… you know when it’s that anxiety that makes you feel a bit oily and edgy inside). I’m sorry for your NDN but that’s a lot for you to deal with when you have your own trauma surrounding late night knocks in the door (that must have been just terrible for you a few years ago; I can’t imagine and I think you’re very brave opening the door at all - trauma like that could have had a much larger impact on you). I hope you’re able to get some sleep tonight, even if it’s maybe not the best quality, and that you do get some sleep that IS higher quality once your DH is home tomorrow. Good luck!

Covid has messed up my sleep pattern, for the past few days I've only been able to sleep for 40 mins to 1 hr at a time. I've been waking repeatedly throughout the night and struggle to get back to sleep again each time. Has anyone else experienced this and does it get better? Dreading going back to work on Monday.

@Jody21 I know there were at least a few people at the beginning of the thread with COVID Insomnia so you’re definitely not alone. But I don’t have any idea how long it lasts, unfortunately. If it’s anything like the other symptoms that “hang about” after COVID, it can be a maximum of 3-4 weeks, or much sooner, but that’s just my experience and maybe 20 people I know.

@KitchenTowel it's what you do now that's important. You can't change the past. You still have time to do what makes you and your mum happy. Seize the day !

And re the smoking. I gave up years ago (hardest thing. Ever). I missed it every day for 10,years. Gradually it faded but I still thought I'd start again One day. Until last Saturday. We were at a house party and everyone smoked. It stank. It made me cough. My clothes stank. I wheezed in the cab on the way home. I had to wash my hair before I could go to bed. Nasty,nasty,nasty. Woke up the next day feeling congested with a sore throat like did smoke 40 fags in a night. Has put me off smoking for ever. It was kind of like an overdose. I can recommend it if you are wavering

@FavouriteMug that sounds hard. People can be arseholes sometimes. And sometimes the only way you can change things is by changing how you react to them. So maybe have a think about how this is affecting you, and can react differently to the poor behaviour (maybe by asking people why they have done/said certain things, or literally stopping what you are doing /saying and give a little silence to the room -that can be quite effective and scary as hell).
But definitely take time out if you need to. Work is for earning money, not for destroying your health. I hope you have a better day today.

I managed to sleep for most of the night again so that's pretty miraculous!

Have a good day all.

@catwomando Congrats on the sleep! I’ll try to ask MNHQ to add a blanket wearing a party hat to the emojis if this thread keeps up, since we graduate sleepers so often, ha.

And with that… sun is up and thread is done UNLESS you have something to say and need somewhere to say it, in which case, the thread is always here, anytime, and a few of us check during the day and evening.

I hope everyone has decent Fridays, whether you got any sleep or you gave up and got some tea/coffee instead. Whatever was keeping you awake, I hope it’s not too terrible today, and if it is, look it firmly in the eye and either out loud or mentally if out loud isn’t an option, tell it, “Off you fuck, and the whole after-midnight thread supports me on that.” Good luck!

Hey everyone! It’s the after midnight thread! If you’re up with poorly babies, children, or pets, whether your OH is snoring, or sleep talking or sick or you’ve had a fight with them, if you’re stressed or anxious or ruminating about life or work or family or something else… or if you just have plain insomnia, this thread is here.

Usually we’re slow on weekends, but Friday night can be just as hard as any other night, so you’re always welcome to share here!

I'm awake as my back and legs are sore. I had an accident early in the year and am bedbound right now. Sleeping is difficult now.

A strange post-sex inability to sleep.

I'm awake with a dodgy tummy.

I'm an emetophobe too (I know everyone on MN says that but I'm actually diagnosed and was having exposure therapy for it)

I'm alone with 3 young children and I'm terrified I'm going to be sick 😷

Painful feet - my rheumatoid arthritis is a so bad atm, the weight of the duvet is too much ☹️

@AllOfUsAreDead Oh gosh, that’s so, so tough. I’m sure you’re incredibly sore. Being bed-bound can lead to all kinds of aches and pains in addition to whatever pains you already had from the accident. I’m so sorry they’re all keeping you awake!

@ItsAlwaysThere That’s a strange one but it happens. I know sometimes it can put you right to sleep immediately and sometimes it’s like a shot of adrenaline, and you can’t sleep for a while afterwards. Hope sleep finds you soon!