To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight?

[5YearsLeft]

I had a day that just really banged me about, physically, emotionally, just all the ways, and now, I’m laying here awake and staring at the ceiling.

So why are you awake? Crying baby? Can’t stop thinking? Worried about something tomorrow? Pain somewhere in your body being an arsehole?

Welcome?

Wow, that's so kind @5YearsLeft!

I'm sure something isn't right with my lip and I tend toward hypochondria. I have scheduled an appointment with an online GP tomorrow. My research suggests precancer, to be honest. A sore that hasn't healed for over a month isn't brilliant.

Maybe I will go to sleep soon. Wishing you some lovely rest as well x

His blood sugar (finger prick) was within normal range and we haven't heard from the other bloods so assume all is as good as it can be in his situation. His pain really ramped up tonight but i think it has finally settled enough to allow him to sleep. I don't think it will be much longer before he needs the syringe driver though.

@gelatodipistacchio I don’t know that this will help you, to be honest, but that’s actually how my autoimmune disorder started, with a sore that wouldn’t heal, for quite a few months. If I were anyone else*, it would have been totally treatable, and everything would have been fine, so don’t give up hope yet! While I can’t say it’s not pre-cancer, it could also be an initial flare of all kinds of things and once it heals, you’ll never have it THAT badly again (first flares are capable of being the worst amd then the body calms down). Either way, I hope that the GP has some useful answers for you tomorrow!!! And that takes away some fear of the unknown. And I’m sure hypochondria is really tough too, making everything seem like it’s out to attack your health.

*But I’m not unfortunately. I have a few genetic mutations that made it so my autoimmune disorder flares more and refuses to go into “remission” like so many other people experience. Also, my combination of auto immune disorders, not just one, is what’s killing me.

@5YearsLeft that's really rough. I'm sorry.

Certainly I shouldn't borrow trouble. I've also been utterly exhausted for months and I have been blaming it on the fact that my life has totally blown up over the past few years. The best thing to do I think is just to go to a doctor and get answers.

I'm off to sleep now. Thanks for your lovely good wishes.

@gelatodipistacchio Oh gosh, no, don’t be sorry; I just wanted to let you know there are very treatable options besides cancer so don’t be afraid. And I’m so sorry to hear about your life. If you’re having serious levels of fatigue and stress, you may even find it’s a recurrent cold sore (they can last for a WHILE without healing completely, when the person’s body is under serious stress).

Sleep well! And I wish you all the best getting the answers you need. I’ll have my fingers crossed.

@bloodywhitecat Good to hear from you but also bad because of course, it means you’re here with us.

While I’m glad the finger prick went well, so they’re assuming bloods are “looking good for as good as they can look,” I’m so sorry to hear his pain is ramping up. But a syringe driver may even give him a few more “good” days that may seem impossible before the end (I’ve seen people have a short ‘rally’ once all the pain was gone); it’s very difficult to say. I really hope that might be the case for you, so you at least get to see him have some peaceful time before the end. As always, I’m so sorry you’re going through this - it truly is some of the most shitty bits of life.

@autienotnaughty Maybe you are catastrophising, but EVERYONE does sometimes. Worries happen. We try the best we can not to let them control our lives and there are some times (after midnight, alone with your head) when that’s more difficult, when your dog’s entire future and a vacation with your autistic son later this year seem like they’re things that MUST be worried about right now, though you can’t do anything about the parts that worry you. It’s infuriating how brains do this sometimes. Distracting yourself sounds like the very best you can do right now to care for yourself and your brain, and hopefully sleep will find you.

Hope everyone’s fallen asleep (I did for a bit myself),and maybe we see each other in the morning!

Toddler has been up for the past hour with a bad cough (not Covid thankfully). Have given water, milk, cough syrup, changed nappy, had cuddles...she's finally drifting off to sleep but now I'm wide awake.

Morning all . My almost regular 4am wake up sees me sharing the wee small hours with you all again. Is it mad that the first thing I do is to,reach for the iPad to see how you are all doing?

@Couchpotato3 there is a War and Peace read along thread on MN somewhere that you might want to look for, the BBC dramatisation of it was absolutely brilliant too. I've had 2 frozen shoulders and shoulder surgery (didn't sleep for a month after that) so can sympathise. I remember being SO disappointed that the heavy duty sleeping pills I was given to knock me out so I could sleep didn't even touch the sides and I was wide awake after a full dose!

@5YearsLeft sorry to hear your pain is so bad. I can't imagine. Auto immune stuff is so weird and complicated. I have colitis and crohns which manifests in all sorts of ways (although I'm lucky to be in remission from the worst at the moment which makes me feel very lucky) pain, bleeding, exhaustion,headaches, joint swelling, rashes, eye blurring, lowered immune system (and needing to dash to,the loo of course!!!). Bodies are spectacularly complicated things. I'm sorry yours is choosing to be a bastard on that front. My insomnia is caused by hormones I think -aiming to start HRT soon to see if it helps with the sleeping and energy levels.

@joysmoy66 how shitty for you. I echo what @5YearsLeft says re it gets better over tome, but hurts like hell. Bloody stupid men thinking with their dicks.

I hope you all are sleeping, dozing, reading, listening to quiet music, stories and podcasts safe in the knowledge that you are not alone.

MN may be full of vipers, but it can be full of lovely stuff too

Long Covid keeping me awake… I usually listen to some gentle music bit I’ve left my earphones somewhere and if I get up I’ll be even more awake.

Just want my life (& sleep!) back!

Solidarity to everyone having a hard time

Apologies for weird BOLDING there. No idea how that happened. Let's pit it down to MN glitch, not my ineptitude shall we?

Roll on 8am when I finish my night shift.

vodkaredbullgirl Snap, but I finish at 7am, not long to go.

@5YearsLeft

Hope everyone’s fallen asleep (I did for a bit myself),and maybe we see each other in the morning!

@5YearsLeft I've been on this thread (mainly lurking) this week due to toothache and I just want to say what a lovely person you are keeping everyone company and taking the time to comment.

Managed about 2 hours. Wide awake again now

I'm supposed to be going to London to see my son ( he's at uni there). My friend was also coming with me but messaged me at 4 to say she had covid symptoms. Lay here contemplating whether to still go alone. Can't cancel hotel without losing money.

@ChocolateDigestivesMmmm Oh poor wee thing. And that’s always the way; you tend the crisis, they can finally get back to sleep, and you’re WIDE awake looking like an owl that’s just done speed. I do hope you finally got drowsy too.

@catwomando Welcome back! If you have to have a regular 4am waking… at least it’s here? Ha. Colitis and Crohn’s are incredibly difficult to deal with, so I’m glad to hear you’re kind of in remission at the moment. Also, interesting that you say they can causes blurred vision. That was a symptom I dealt with, so it’s really interesting that maybe it’s more widespread across auto immune conditions than I thought! (It came with drooping eyelid for me).

@Lostcovid This long COVID insomnia is really hurting a few people on this thread, so you’re not alone. I do hope it lets you get a little rest AND your headphone appear! I absolutely hate temporarily losing mine in the flat.

@vodkaredbullgirl You can make it to end of shift - you’re so close!!

@Wrinklefree Just a few minutes left until you’re free, you can go home, get cozy. And find some sleep, wherever it’s hiding.

@garlictwist Oh, so you’re still having the toothache? I’m so sorry! I know they can just be excruciating. You’re doing great at making it through this. And I hope it gets fixed soon and then you feel lovely (and thank you for the compliment).

@joysmoy66 Ah, sorry to hear you got chased back to waking after two hours. I hope they give you at least a little more energy to face today.

@LoudSnoringDog Oh that’s tough! I’m sure you’re looking forward to seeing your son and you’ve already spent the money. Any chance you could drive to a convenient station then hop the train from there, if you can’t drive the whole journey? I do hope you’ll come up with a solution and maybe a little more sleep will help one to come to you.

Good luck all who are still up and at it!

@catwomando Oh and I’m in menopause, since they absolutely DESTROYED my body with steroids trying to treat the autoimmune disorders, and when I told people my extremely regular period had disappeared, they said it would come back, and then when it just…didn’t… So according to an endocrinology consultant, I need both estrogen and progesterone. I found that for estrogen, the lotion you just rub on your arm was much easier than the estrogen patch, so I hope maybe something along those lines is an option for something to help you. I really do hope so, so that you can sleep!

@5YearsLeft thank you your words really helped tonight. Fell asleep around 2 so maybe got 5 hours. The nights are always harder whether it's physical or mental health. It's the dark silence meaning you have to listen to what your body is saying. I hope you are ok and grab some sleep when you can. I can't begin to understand what you are going through but thank you for taking the time to support others. I hope we support you too.

@autienotnaughty So wise and that’smm exactly it for so many of us, I think - that in the dark, we have to listen to what our bodies are saying. There’s nothing else to really distract us on the same level. I’m so glad you got a few hours (I got about 4-5 as well) and hopefully that makes today a little easier.

As for what I’m going through - I don’t think it’s anything really “special,” if you know what I mean? So many people on this thread have their own pains and sorrows and I don’t think mine are any more or less; we’re all sort of in it together. My pain just happens to have an expiration date

@5YearsLeft glad you got a few hours! Lovely kind thread!!

@Onwardsupwardsagain Thank you so much! And hope you got a few hours of sleep as well.

With that, sun is up. Feel free to leave things on the thread any time of day you want, but we’re most active here after-midnight. Until tonight!

Hello everyone and welcome to the after midnight thread. Whether it’s something outside of you - babies, children, DPs, DHs - or something within - stress, anxiety, pain, insomnia - we know what that’s like, and you’re welcome to share here. Saturdays are usually the slowest nights.

It hurt but I finally made it to the light festival, or at least about half of it. I hope that these photos provide a little bit of beauty to your insomnia.

Hello everyone.

Great pics @5YearsLeft.. tell us more about the festival? What's behind it?

I'm trying a new plan tonight...stay up late until,I'm so tired my eyes itch and then go to bed, rather than lying staring at the stars. The tv is not as beautiful though