to think this comment is totally inappropriate

[SantasLittleFriend]

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

She wasn't even assuming the friend gave blow jobs - she was giving her some factual information and allowing her to make an informed decision whether she acted on it or not.

At 41+ weeks my mw gave me exactly this advice whilst booking in my induction, along with a host of other suggestions about how to get my labour started. Dh was asked to leave the room though when she told me!

Was still induced though a week later though!

At no point was I angry at having such an informed & well qualified mw who is devoted to her job.

Don't know whether to laugh or cry at this thread.

I was also told that the best way to get baby out was the same way baby got in. MW did not mention oral, although at 42 weeks I had tried everything else suggested so I would probably have given it a go. I have heard/read this numerous times before and since and it would not have occured to me to be offended (and I am not particularly fond of BJs).

To be offended by a SUGGESTION is ridiculous.

It sounds to me as if the OPs friend is not happy about the MW because of the incident that happened many years ago. If this is the case, and your friend feels so strongly about the MW I do not understand why she is still seeing her. Why did she choose this MW if she thinks she is incompetent?

To tell you the truth, I would actually find a sweep more unpleasant than swallowing sperm. I had the experience of both (once but not at the same time LOL).

And I am a prude. I've felt the need to change my name to post here.

OK, how can I say this to make it clearer. Some women like giving Oral & swallowing Yeah? Some do not, yeah?? So, if I was a PROFESSIONAL midwife I would NOT have made that comment knowing how different people are. MW's have to deal with lots of different women from all kinds of backgrounds/cultures/religions yeah???

Some women like sex, some don't. Both types get pregnant. So if the MW mentioned sexual intercourse without actually checking that the client enjoyed it, would that be offensive?

By the way, has the OP re-appeared or is she busy counselling her weirdo friend and penning letters to the Royal College of Midwifery or whatever it's called.

I'm the biggest prig I know and even I couldn't be offended by that comment.

Message withdrawn

i bet blow jobs were non-existent in our grandparents era .

Aglassofmerlot
Sorry, but I still do not understand your objection. As someone mentioned already, assuming that the OPs friend was not wearing a burka the MW probably thought that she was a sexually enlightened woman who has heard of a BJ before now. And considering that she is heavily pregnant, she must have had sex at least once. How would the MW know that she might be offended by a suggestion that thousands of healthcare professionals make? It is common advice here in Germany, in all of the pregnancy literature.

I don't know why wearing a burka even would suggest that she hadn't heard of blow jobs. It's okay for devout Muslim women to have sex with their husbands isn't it? Just not to show their hair or faces.

Thank the lord you're not a m/w then.

I'm curious, all these women offended by BJs...what a about a man going down on our bits?? Is that offensive too? If you don't mind your OH getting your stuff all over his face, why not suck on his?

I didn't realise women were still offended by this stuff....it's almost 2008!

Whtever happened to give and take

Message withdrawn

NFK
Sorry, that was an inappropriate comparison. I was trying to make the point that in our society we have generally passed the point where talk of oral sex would make a woman hide under the table in shame.

Message withdrawn

Kindersurprise, the odd thing is the OP doesn't say her friend feels ashamed or embarrassed, more that she feels like complaining.

The best thing all round (assuming the original post was true) is for her to have the baby and then she'll be so busy she'll forget about her pissy little piece of offence taking. Someone should tell her to drink some sperm. Ooops! They already have...!

OK so hands up- how many of you swallow or even do blow jobs?

Me - blowies- yes- swallow NO! I bet there are LOTS of women who dont swallow.

that should be do bj's & swallow - too much Merlot .

Ok, so tonight I worked with three midwives and a doctor, I told them about this thread. When they had picked themselves of the floor from shock, about your friend thinking of putting in a complaint. (One was very upset as this is one of her standard recomendations) they all said that a bj is THE most effective way to kick of labour. So I think yabu

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn