to think this comment is totally inappropriate

[SantasLittleFriend]

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

I just find it amusing that someone who is 41 weeks pregnant can be offended at the idea that a midwife might think she has had sex and possibly oral sex.

she sounds rather wonderful, I think.

Don't think it was that offensive tbh - some people are quite desperate not to be induced and would be grateful for any advice to speed things up. Doesn't sound if the midwife was being particularly graphic about it all and I can't see how she could have put it more gently really if she said 'to swallow is more effective'.

I don't think it would be fair to complain about the comment at all.

I guess people worry about being reported..

Mws tend to be quite laid-back about sex, slf. Being as they wouldn't have jobs without it, and all...

I always thought it was slightly illogical, the oral recommendation. But I was told this by my midwife, and I stored it "interesting info not to implement" while bouncing up and down on a ball, eating hot curry, pineapple and nipple twiddling like there was no tomorrow.

We all know where babies come from and have presumably all had sex at some point so I fail to see what has caused offence!

One of my friends drunkenly admitted that she had given her dp a blow job in the car at eight and a half months pregnant.

HOW???

Are you a Midwife then Snaf? If yes, Would you say to your patients?

I don't know if there's any real truth in it either, pooka. It would seem to make more sense to apply the prostglandins directly to the cervix, rather than through the gut

But hey, nothing ventured... I should try and find some evidence for it!

Well I have reached the grand old age of 33 with 2 children and have never given oral sex.

BUT

I am well aware that semen can bring on labour and so accept that the midwife in queation is simply giving factual information. Some people who are desparate will try anything.

Like I said, not all women swallow and believe it or not some women may not like giving blow-jobs.

My friend has tried the bouncing up and down on a ball, eating curry, eating pineapples, long walks but nothing ...

Can you ladies recommend something else? Not what the midwife recommended.

Yes, YABU

Im not sure i would like to have been told this myself but wouldnt report her IYKWIM xx Man this would be the last thing you would fancy doing to bring on labour yuk!

I really can't see how that is offensive

Up to your friend whether she tries it or not.

HMM i cant recommend anything other than to chill as much as she can and oh get some pre baby sleep!!!

But as a grown up you can choose whether or not to take her advice. Bizarre to be offended really.

All things being equal, slf, I shall be a mw in a few months

Well, I don't call 'em patients because they're not ill but I would tell women this, yes, and have done, as I said.

It does depend a bit on the person, and maybe that mw misjudged her audience, but as a rule I tend not to see an issue with talking about sex to women who are pregnant, for fairly obvious reasons!

So if she doesn't like giving blowjobs, she just ignores the advice!

Would she report the mw if she didn't like eating pineapple or curry?

Blimey, YABU, she didn't tell your friend to do it, she just gave perfectly sensible advice as to something that might help! If you don't like pineapple then don't eat it!
Nothing, afaik, is really proven to bring on labour when you want it. If pineapples and long walks haven't got her there, baby's probably just not ready to come. Fingers crossed for a speedy delivery, but really, don't even think about complaining about the midwife, who sounds great.

I could suggest nipple stimulation but I'm a little bit wary of doing so now

I have a doctor mate who has some sound (supposedly) evidence that bjs can prevent pre-eclampsia

by islandofsodor "Well I have reached the grand old age of 33 with 2 children and have never given oral sex".

This is my argument, the midwife made assumptions that my friend gave oral sex and liked to swallow .