Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this comment is totally inappropriate

400 replies

SantasLittleFriend · 24/12/2007 20:44

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

OP posts:
cheapslutonjunk · 26/12/2007 18:44

Because men like BJs.

MsHighwater · 26/12/2007 22:14

YABU - though surely you must know this after 250+ posts to that effect.

It sounds like you - and your friend - have a problem with this MW that has nothing to do with the advice she gave about swallowing. If your friend does not want this MW involved because of the previous incident you mentioned she should say so. But it's preposterous - and perhaps a bit mischievous of you - to suggest that it's because of this perfectly rational and, imo, inoffensive advice. The MW did not TELL your friend to have oral sex nor did she assume that she did this (judging by your account of the conversation, anyway) so there are no grounds there for complaint. If the other incident was investigated and the MW is still at work, perhaps there are no grounds for complaint on that score, either.

FrannyandZooey · 26/12/2007 22:15

are we still on this? did she suck his penis yet or not?

lyra41 · 26/12/2007 22:21

i think the mw did

Bocohohoho · 26/12/2007 22:22

Ha. I opened this thread and the first post I read was Franny's (for a moment there Franny I thought Jusabout and her dh were being lewd again)

My midwife made this suggestion. I may have complained if she'd actually forced me to swallow spunk against my will, but as a suggestion it's no biggy. iykwim. The suggestion, not the penis.

lyra41 · 26/12/2007 22:26

ha yourself

cheeset · 26/12/2007 22:52

i have scanned thro this thread and soooo many people have commented on how uptight SLF was about the swallowing comment.

If the midwife had gone into detail and told the friend the benefits of semen to induce labour rather than the 'street' version, maybe the friend would not have felt she was unprofessional plus the friend felt foolish about not understanding maybe.

Coupled with the dealings in the past with the midwife, maybe she just thought the midwife wasn't professional.

cheeset · 26/12/2007 22:55

Oh, and I dont think the midwife should be reported.

hatrick · 26/12/2007 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TiredOfBeingNumber84OnAnyList · 26/12/2007 23:25

A little joke for LittleSantasFriends' friend and MotherFunk.

Why does a bride look so happy on her wedding day?

Because she knows she's given her last blow job.

BaubleMonkey · 26/12/2007 23:34

Cheeset, I think you have a point there.

I don't remember much about the MW's, but I do remember my HV keeping on about me poohing, DS farting and getting DP to check his balls. I did wish she would be a bit more medical about it as I found it a bit vulgar (I feel all middle class now ).

I do think the OP's friend is a little uptight about this, however, had the mw just said that semen contains prostoglandins that help set off labour, and swallowing semen can help to get things moving, it might not have offended her.

It's just terminology though and the OP's friend shouldn't make a complaint.

louii · 26/12/2007 23:47

Pretty sound advice from midwife, brilliant thread!

AGlassOfMerlot · 27/12/2007 19:01

its a totally inappropriate comment to make. never heard of a midwife saying this before.

MotherFunk · 27/12/2007 19:05

Message withdrawn

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 27/12/2007 19:48

Ha ha, only just read this. I tell women this all the time - have not been reported yet

Maybe I better stop saying it though for fear of being reported......can just imagine Senior M/w's face!!! But somehow don't think anyone would get suspended or even told off if they were reported.

The m/w can back what she told your frieend up with research - therefore she is doing her job properly. If your friend doesn't want to follow the suggestion then fine. I'm sure some women might want to report a m/w for NOT telling them this - they might think its preferable to being hooked up to a drip for their labour.

MotherFunk · 27/12/2007 19:53

Message withdrawn

AGlassOfMerlot · 27/12/2007 20:00

There is asbolutely no scientific evidence to back this up i.e. giving partner a blowie and swallowing his stuff will get a woman into labour. Its a pile of crap. Why do some MW say to have sex (as in vaginally) but ONE mw says ORally?? Very very odd.

MotherFunk · 27/12/2007 20:03

Message withdrawn

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 27/12/2007 20:06

But it isn't ONE m/w saying it - I've heard other m/ws say it. Snaf has found some research which she quotes further down the post backing the science up. So its not been 100% proven yet - mainly as there hasn't been a thorough RCT study on it, but there is a lot of evidence to back it up.

Mmmmm I think I've made a decision on the topic for my dissertation. Do you think I'll get it through the ethics comittee ok? How many pg women will I offend when I ask them to participate in my medical trial.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 27/12/2007 20:07

Oh and I hate to disappoint but I believe that prostaglandin gel is synthetic rather than pig these days - certainly is where I am.

missyisabitpissty · 27/12/2007 20:12

I wonder how many pg overdue woman would gladly particiapte in a study to see if giving their bloke a blowie & swallowing his stuff will get them into labour? .

BroccoliSpears · 27/12/2007 20:21

Hooray for synthetic prostaglandin!!!!!!

Tell Rebecca Loos to stand down.

RudolphtheBluenosesaintdeer · 27/12/2007 20:49

lmao at this thread, hilarious!!

My mw told me that semen was best for inducing labour and that swallowing it is thought to be more effective ....i laughed heartily and asked her if my dh had paid her to say it (I had no intention of doing it btw!!)

Wouldn't have entered my head to report her for saying it - as its been said before, it was a suggestion not an order and i cannot fathom why it is inappropriate

So yes, you are being ridiculously unreasonable ....

but thank you, cos you've really made me laugh

BooBar · 27/12/2007 20:57

This thread is hilarious . My mW told me the same thing and if i am being honest, I was a bit taken aback, but I didnt report her .

LizzyL · 27/12/2007 20:58

There was an article on this in New Scientist earlier this year confirming that it could help things along and that a blow job was more effective as DH reads NS regularly and had a very hopeful glint in his eye... Luckily DD was a week early! It is true, promise.

Swipe left for the next trending thread