AIBU to have ‘gone off’ working?

[haribofiend]

Okay so I realise I am unreasonable!

But does anyone else feel the same?

I’m not a lazy person, have always worked v.hard, too hard at times, if anything!

But lately (since Covid / lockdown, but maybe it’s just a coincidence) I’m so fed up of it. I’m not in the wrong job - I like my work well enough… but not as much as I’d like leisure time I find I’m wistfully looking forward to retirement, and I’m only 34!!

I’m a bit shocked at myself tbh. Is it just me who’s had this change of heart lately and needs a big old boot up the bum?

Glad to see I’m not alone. I feel exactly the same. The thought of 17 more years is horrendous right now and I don’t particularly dislike my job. There’s so little to look forward to with covid. Life used to be broken up by weekends doing stuff I can’t do now. I hope, in time, that things will improve.

@Whatwouldscullydo

I want what precious time I have to be my own. It really is dawning on me here at 51 that life is on a clock

Its bizarre really how even working part time, there can be at times.little difference in the Impact it has on your.life.

Depending on the kind of job you have, short notice shifts or shift swaps, different days on different weeks, etc it can make planning anything really difficult.

Sounds daft to say you are busy with work.when you only do say 15-20 hours. But if you aren't able to sign up for things to do because you work.tuesday one week then Thursday the next and your days off are spent doing the washing hours couldn't do the night before, you end up giving your whole day/life to the job anyway.

I cant count the number of times I've thought to myself I'll go hopping Wednesday as I'm.off that evening and I can get something nice for dinner.

Only to end up working and on a split shift the following day so I can't go shopping til 2 or 3 days later.

In some ways I think its worse..if you are full time you are already working so cant get called in.

Part time. None of the time is your own

I get that. You're only paid for either the Tuesday or the Thursday but you couldn't commit to anything that fell on Tuesday or a Thursday.

Shift work is really shit. And I bet your friends couldn't keep track of whether it's Tuesday this week or Thursday this week so they wouldn't invite you for that walk/coffee/meet up if it fell on a Tuesday or a Thursday.

So my mind works this way. I do have the weekends free but my mind is all caught up with all the things I have to get done and my head only feels clear to do things for me when everything is done, which is never!

I think we all need a goal, something to aim for, a purpose. When we are younger there are obvious things to work for - qualifications, getting a job, getting our own place. Then as we are older there aren't obvious things to aim for unless you love your job and are motivated to seek promotions etc. Even if you don't like your job though, it's important to feel you are working towards something, whether it's saving up for a holiday or decorating the house. Or you might do something outside work that give you purpose and a goal. A hobby, sport, religion, volunteering. I think we all also need something spiritual as well which doesn't have to be anything to do with religion, but something that takes you outside yourself and out of the mundane.

Have a look at this and think about where you might be missing out.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

Also Covid has taken away that "something to work towards" or at least did for a while as it forced us to live day to day and to not plan. I found this hard, day to day was fine but I also need things to look forward to, things that I know will definitely happen.

I've been feeling like this too lately just cba with work. Usually I'm quite happy with my job. Felt like I was good at it, colleagues all fine etc I don't even work full time. I've found myself looking for other jobs lately just for a change... but then I cba with that too lol.

I’m older and feel a bit the same, but with the prospect of redundancy thrown in now. Covid wfh has really affected me. I felt so much better in the spell we had back in the office. I’m dreading that my next job will be wfh only. I know it’s cheaper for employer though and it will be better being employed than not.

I think it's hard to figure it out. I feel like I need 'stillness' and a feeling of all the niggly matters dealt with before I can even start to sit in the calmness and let the obvious ideas of what to do occur to me

I need this more as I get older, when I was younger there was natural free time with nothing happening. Now I have to make time - yoga, meditation, walking the dog and just being in the moment. Also it's much easier 20 years later to fill every moment with entertainment, noise and distraction. Sometimes even cooking the dinner is nice and peaceful and mindful if I make sure there are no distractions.

I'm mid 50s and definitely feel like this. Work mojo has evaporated. I was on a corporate call yesterday and it all sounded like bullshit. Lots of men droning on with the usual crap. I zoned out completely and couldn't tell you a word of the wisdom they imparted. I used to be a corporate whore.

I thought it was age, perhaps it's remote working that gives us the distance to realise how stupid and unnecessary some of it is. For example it was always SO important to be in the office. Now everyone knows that it's bullshit to need to all the time, so the emperor's new clothes have fallen off?

Also the workplace is too full of men

Yes. Holiday was good but feel like I'm just back on the wheel and I'm feeling tired. I'm struggling a lot right now, no motivation. Also a lot of people have left my company during the pandemic, which makes me nervous, and several of my colleagues have sadly died as well and I'm just thinking a lot about the shortness of life and feeling quite unsettled. It's a good company to work for in general and I don't think I'd like to be anywhere else (had some bad experiences in the past) so I guess I'll keep pushing on for now.

I know loads of people who feel this way and are looking for a career change to reinject the oomph.

[quote Luckyelephant1]@D0lphine omg are YOU me because my boss is the same, I always get praised for my work and I'm like wtf I spend most days procrastinating and doing the bare minimum.[/quote]
Do you just get on with your work quietly and output the bare min at a good level? If so that's why.

It's the ones on the team who don't cause you shit and manage to do the work a decent quality without maximum supervision that you end up appreciating.

This is how I felt when I was on income support and looking for work. I didnt care about money as I had lived off so little.

I feel like this now too, I think its because of furlough if I'm honest. It made me reassess what is important to me and that I spend a lot on work lunches, travel and general crap to keep me happy.

I spend annual leave not wanting to go back.

I have found a good work place now though, that is a more relaxed environment but it is a bit of a commute. I prefer the commute over being in a stressed job down the road.

@AgathaAllAlong

It's especially terrible because as a family we have sacrificed a lot for me to follow my chosen career path, relocating, DP getting the work that he can and not having his career prioritised. We did this because I loved my job. And now the passion has totally gone but I feel like I need to fake it because we've sacrificed too much.

Noooo, don't fake it! Come clean! Your DP will be overjoyed because he'll have the chance to prioritise HIS career. No?

Same, I’m 34 too. I’ve recently been having the thought that I should be doing more with life … don’t get me wrong I enjoy my job but I just can’t help feeling a sense of dread that this is it forever.

So my mind works this way. I do have the weekends free but my mind is all caught up with all the things I have to get done and my head only feels clear to do things for me when everything is done, which is never!

Ha ha yes. I spend half the day time home alone as everyone's at work, catching up with washing and shopping MN then I'm.off to work. Anywhere from 2- 4 evenings ( sometimes do mid morning shifts ) so I don't actually see ir talk to anyone I actually want to. Saturdays I don't work.but that's uniform washing/gymnastic fir thr kids/ making sure they have everything for school day as I'm gone all day Sunday at work.

I hate it. I absolutely hate it I'm.lonely beyond believe as I'm never free when anyone else is. Xp occasionally has them for a sleep over but when it suits him not me. So he'd take them on a Friday night fir instance but I'd have to lock up first thing Saturday fir gym.class. when taking them Saturday and keeping them all day Sunday as I'm.working would be the helpful thing to do.

Hopefully when school runs are for good amd dd2 is at high school I can get a bloody day job.

@Lasttraintolondon

It's me too. Its taking herculean efforts of will to be productive at work. I think I still am, more out of pride than anything else.

But generally, I want to retire. 40s. I don't think it's languishing, I read the article which didn't resonate with me. It's more positive than that - finding simple pleasures in a bit of gardening, a little reading, a little excerise, time with family. I don't need to travel the world because I like my immediate environment more and now realise it was always enough. Whereas before I was on the treadmill and never had time to look around.

There's nothing wrong with work, especially when it's a job you love. I think though, we've all been given an insight into an alternative.

Absolutely me too!

Oh yes! I've always been a fairly driven person, always working towards the next career move and I genuinely like the work and the people u work with.

I'm currently off sick following a bereavement and I am struggling and that's probably part of my current attitude towards work, but I really feel like I don't have time to go to work with all the things I "need" to do to take care of myself, reading, having a daily walk, doing some other exercise, taking time out to reflect.

It used to be that my enthusiasm for work and being busy took care of my MH, but I just don't want to do it anymore.

Good grief. 34 /35 & feeling depressed about work, only another 30 odd yrs to go before drawing a pension ,but the goal posts to that entitlement will have been moved long before you get near them it probably won’t even exist.

I have found my people. I was on a different thread yesterday where people were talking about how much they love their jobs and love working and I just couldn’t relate at all. I’m 34 and already actively planning my retirement as I hate work so much and I agree that the pandemic has made things worse. I really envy people who love working but I’m a home bird who loves to potter so that will never be me at all.

I definitely agree that the link between the money needed and the work has got a bit blurry. I was made redundant in March 2020 (unrelated to COVID) and unable to apply for anything as nursery was closed and we had a 1 year old. The next 3 months on JSA were grim until I found a job in July! I did get a statutory payout but it took a while.
I feel pretty motivated at work but I have just started retraining 18 months ago and I work 3 days a week. I have also been in every week except for WFH Jan and Feb when we were in that total shitshow pre-vaccines. So had a relatively "normal" year last year.

Feel exactly the same. Barely paid a living wage, needs topped up with benefits. Got myself into a comfortable position savings and career wise and now the Tories and the energy crash have fucked it up so I am back to not being able to pay my bills and having to get into debt with electric just so I can feed my kids.

On top of that, we are expecting our very much planned for (financially and practically) baby. We made the decision when we could afford to have another child and now we are fucked. Savings are gone because our energy price rocketed and sucked them dry, and after putting the whole meagre lot into paying off the sudden 500+ bills, I still can't afford to pay the incoming ones. I just shouldn't have bothered.

What's the point in working if I can't even stay afloat? We'd be better off with me on benefits and DH's sole (also stupidly low) income. We would somehow get 150 more that way.

Feel the exact same. I'm 33 and over the last couple of years I have worked up to the job I always wanted. Now I spend most of my day thinking about what I'm going to have for dinner and browsing rightmove and holiday websites. Like pp my boss is really happy with what I'm doing as I get everything done to a high standard so really I should be asking for more responsibility to fill up my days but I cannot be arsed.

Up till 2 years ago, I really loved my job.
Now I'm 1) bored of doing the same sort of thing at work 2) hate the new culture that came in with new management, and as a result, 3) fed up with the politics.
Partner in charge of my department is desperate for everyone to be in the office 5 days a week - there's no need for it. I feel they just want to keep an eye on us.

I can't wait to retire.

Feel same and I'm 39!

I look back to pre covd life and it feels like a different timeline I lived in. I try and think how was it that I was always rushing about and days were busy. I think hmm okay was it cos of the commute but then after work how is it my evenings still felt busy?

I dont know 😕 I cant even remember what filled my time. It was just busy. I think in the end it might be the commute even though its only 30mins and not being at gome where u don't have breaks to put washing on, quick vacuum or pop to post office or shops in lunchtime. So only times to do those things were in the evening or weekends.

I'm 53 and went part time to 2 days two years ago, DH, also 53, just dropped to 3/4 days. Thankfully we were able to. I'm fit and very active but don't think I could physically work full time anymore without being too exhausted for everything else. DH felt the same. Our oap seems so far away like they want you to be almost dead before you can get a penny.
We've saved and invested to get this far, you need so much money to go part time and bucket load more money to retire early.
I used to be so ambitious and career orientated and while I still like my job, it's like a chore, it just gets in the way of other things now.