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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have ‘gone off’ working?

426 replies

haribofiend · 10/01/2022 23:26

Okay so I realise I am unreasonable!

But does anyone else feel the same?

I’m not a lazy person, have always worked v.hard, too hard at times, if anything!

But lately (since Covid / lockdown, but maybe it’s just a coincidence) I’m so fed up of it. I’m not in the wrong job - I like my work well enough… but not as much as I’d like leisure time Blush I find I’m wistfully looking forward to retirement, and I’m only 34!!

I’m a bit shocked at myself tbh. Is it just me who’s had this change of heart lately and needs a big old boot up the bum?

OP posts:
Twocrabs30 · 11/01/2022 00:54

Me too.
I’m early 40s, tired of negotiating the reality of work / office politics and wish I had a generous unexpected benefactor that would bequest me a sum sufficient to live a life of idle the next 40 years. You are not alone.

I am only working as I fee caught in a rut of circumstance and necessity to have to do so.

There is so much more I would prefer to do with my time involving eating well, light exercise, reading and supporting my 2 young children.

I get it. I’m working on a strategy to get through the next 25-30 years. Including how I can downsize now and simplify my life to reduce costs and work to cover these costs

halloweenie13 · 11/01/2022 00:55

I agree, I moved cities before the pandemic really started and was finishing my degree to begin a new career , but now 2 years on even though the city I moved to used to be my dream, I cannot stand it now. I'm moving back to my home city and have totally changed my thought process on jobs, I'm now all about work life balance and quality of life, its all good and well having a high paying job but if you're working all the hours God sends and living in an area you don't enjoy then what's the point! Aslong as I can own my own house and car and go on a nice holiday or days out then I don't care about how much I earn

StarsAreWishes · 11/01/2022 01:05

Not sure it’s an age thing because I’m late 40s and feel the same. It has motivated me to make concrete steps towards semi-retirement in mid 50s though!

The thing is, it’s not like I even want to do anything groundbreaking. I just want to not work. I just want to sleep in, go for walks, read, cook. Pre-pandemic I would have wanted to travel the world, or take up a new exciting hobby or sport. So I think maybe the “languishing” thing is spot on.

MajorNeville · 11/01/2022 01:13

I'm so over work. I want to scream in meetings "why are you so interested in this shit, it's so bloody boring" I mean, get a bloody life. You'd never guess from my little noddy head and uh hums!

D0lphine · 11/01/2022 01:34

[quote Luckyelephant1]@D0lphine omg are YOU me because my boss is the same, I always get praised for my work and I'm like wtf I spend most days procrastinating and doing the bare minimum.[/quote]
The question is ...

What are my coworkers actually doing with their days to make me look so good?

I have some interesting theories 🤣🤣🤣

D0lphine · 11/01/2022 01:38

@MajorNeville

I'm so over work. I want to scream in meetings "why are you so interested in this shit, it's so bloody boring" I mean, get a bloody life. You'd never guess from my little noddy head and uh hums!
I go on TikTok during meetings. I put my phone near the camera so it looks like I'm looking into the camera. Pause it when I need to say something. Play once I've said my bit. Haven't missed a single important thing in nearly 2 years.
costamum · 11/01/2022 01:39

I'm much a tad older but oh my, I'm right there with you and languishing away!

Redsquirrel5 · 11/01/2022 01:47

Retirement isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I thought when I retired I would go travelling for a year or two to the other side of the world. Not to be at the moment and DD is over in NZ at the moment. I was going to Australia, NZ, Japan and China and possibly Thailand. 😢 instead I was glad to go shopping in our local market town because we have been in since the 30 th. Covid symptoms but negative LFT and know several people in the village that had Covid over Christmas. PCR test came back pm yesterday negative! Most surprised.

You’ve probably just got a bit of Januaritis.🤒

immersivereader · 11/01/2022 02:21

Same here.

And I'm just really pissed off that I've never really been appreciated / compensated for being a good soldier?? I've had, what, 5 days off sick in my entire life? Loyalty, dragging myself in etc. And for what? Employers don't give a shit.

So my new attitude is calling in sick more, giving less of a shit.

immersivereader · 11/01/2022 02:22

What are my coworkers actually doing with their days to make me look so good?

^

This too. Standards have dropped. I'm a fucking genius at work now

😂😂

immersivereader · 11/01/2022 02:24

I just want to sleep in, go for walks, read, cook.

^

This is me! WineCake

Lasttraintolondon · 11/01/2022 03:17

It's me too. Its taking herculean efforts of will to be productive at work. I think I still am, more out of pride than anything else.

But generally, I want to retire. 40s. I don't think it's languishing, I read the article which didn't resonate with me. It's more positive than that - finding simple pleasures in a bit of gardening, a little reading, a little excerise, time with family. I don't need to travel the world because I like my immediate environment more and now realise it was always enough. Whereas before I was on the treadmill and never had time to look around.

There's nothing wrong with work, especially when it's a job you love. I think though, we've all been given an insight into an alternative.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 11/01/2022 03:43

I've only ever worked out of necessity, but I hate that it takes up my 'me time'.
I want to grow plants, and do whatever I want once in a while.
I don't think it's unreasonable to want to want to properly relax for once in life.

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 11/01/2022 04:38

Hm. I have developed some work related anxiety since the start of Covid which is irrational and irritating. Nothing to do with actual Covid ironically, just that working during lockdown was relentless and massively increased my workload so although things are more or less back as they were, I have quite stressful associations with work and much less resilience to deal with what is already a really full on role. I also feel quite disillusioned with my line of work, and see structural and institutional issues much more clearly, things I felt prepared to overlook before now feel more WTF!?
I'm so jealous of PPs who are able to joke about 'doing the bare minimum' at work. My job is very 'on' all the time, with no possibility of taking a step back, and I think this is part of the problem. I need to repurpose my career.

nettie434 · 11/01/2022 04:52

Me too! I used to be the sort of person who thought I'd never want to give up working. Not now!

ChessieFL · 11/01/2022 04:57

This is me too. Just feeling really unmotivated at work. It’s really busy and previously that would have motivated me to work hard, do extra hours to get the job done etc but now it feels like a real slog just to get my minimum hours done each day. I don’t know if it’s the job or me - problem is I can’t think of a job that I would want to do more than my current job. Like others here I don’t really want to work at all which isn’t an option! Unfortunately I can’t read the languishing article (apparently I’ve already had my quota of free articles on the site) but from what others have said it sounds like this might be me. I’m just hoping things start getting back to normal soon as I think it’s being stuck at home all the time which isn’t helping me.

ToofFairy · 11/01/2022 05:15

I felt like this last year. I'm retraining to do something I'm passionate about that offers greater flexibility.

AlDanvers · 11/01/2022 05:16

Me too. To be fair, it's not just the pandemic. Mum died almost 6 weeks ago. 9 months after she retired. I don't want that to be me.

I have a plan and am lucky enough to have shares in the company I work for. Due to business plans its worth staying another 24 months. Then I should have more choices.

I have always been career driven. The pandemic started changing that. Mum's death was the final nail. It's just not what I want long term.

Solasum · 11/01/2022 05:16

I feel the same. I am so TIRED and just want to sleep all the time. My 8yo said yesterday he wishes things were like they used to be. I was surprised as I thought his life was basically back to normal now, but all the mask wearing, lack of spontaneity, nothing to look forward to is so draining. I desperately want to go on holiday but with different requirements for everywhere and the uncertainty of change it feels like a Herculean task to actually book. And work is so busy

Bettybantz · 11/01/2022 05:21

Same here. It’s not just work either - I can’t be arsed to do much at home. Why do today what can be put off till tomorrow seems to be my motto and these days.

garlictwist · 11/01/2022 05:28

I have always hated working. I see it as such an imposition on my time. I don't think I'd be bored or lost if I didn't have a job. On the contrary. I cannot wait to retire.

Lucycantdance · 11/01/2022 05:29

@Saradegrey

I was about that age when I first felt like that. I didn't want to sell chunks of my life off for money and basically be owned by a company.

I don't care about ego, job title and all that. It's just BS. I remember a colleague left after 15 years. She was a great person and everyone liked her, and a really hard worker. Once she left, she was completely forgotten within the month, and no-one bothered to keep in touch - just back on the hamster wheel.

The penny dropped. Walk out of the cage. I went self-employed and have done all sorts of things. I recommend it to you. I know it's hard to walk away from a salary, but it its so liberating. I wouldn't go back to it for any money in the world.

I could have typed this word for word. In my twenties I was all about career. Not now.
JangolinaPitt · 11/01/2022 05:31

Me too.
I have a job that Is normally enjoy but the last week I have just totally gone off it abs can’t concentrate.
I am a secondary teacher and bored stiff with my subject.

Cloudnut · 11/01/2022 05:34

I've felt like this a few months too. I like work satisfaction but recently I just want to curl up and watch box sets, and get paid for it.

LadyPropane · 11/01/2022 05:39

I dislike having to spend most of my free time at work. Always have, and yet I've also always ended up in jobs with very long hours! I suppose they tend to pay better and I like money...

Right now I'm a SAHM to a baby and 2 toddlers so I've very much got my hands full but MY GOD it feels so great to not be working. It's been 4 years and I don't miss it at all. My day is long and tiring but it's spending my day with my babies and on my own schedule and I feel so lucky to be able to do it.

A lot of my other mum friends said they were desperate to get back to work after mat leave. They felt they had lost part of themselves and they found it again when they went back to work. I have never really understood this. I always worked for the money, and no other reason. If I won the lottery I wouldn't work a day in my life ever again. I've never felt defined by my job, or that it was an important part of me.

I'm interested to hear from those who do feel that working gives them something that they need/ is part of their identity. Perhaps you're all in the "right" job and I was always in the "wrong" job?

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