AIBU to have ‘gone off’ working?

[haribofiend]

Okay so I realise I am unreasonable!

But does anyone else feel the same?

I’m not a lazy person, have always worked v.hard, too hard at times, if anything!

But lately (since Covid / lockdown, but maybe it’s just a coincidence) I’m so fed up of it. I’m not in the wrong job - I like my work well enough… but not as much as I’d like leisure time I find I’m wistfully looking forward to retirement, and I’m only 34!!

I’m a bit shocked at myself tbh. Is it just me who’s had this change of heart lately and needs a big old boot up the bum?

It doesn’t get any better!

The end is a bit closer for me, I’m 55 in August, and start receiving my RAF pension (only about 10k a year so not enough to retire on yet).

Desperate to get mortgage paid off - 10 yrs to go and not having this daily ugh!

Me too. Although, I have now unofficially left the work world, as I was self employed but when my last job finished, during lockdown, I didn't pursue another contract for the very reasons we're talking about here. I started a small craft business which I love but it's not a huge moneymaker. I'm late 50s and not sure what to do now.. I love my new life but wondering if I should be worried about finances.

My question is: what would it take for someone to give up an unfulfilling job and do something different? A health scare? A lottery win? A plan of how to survive on less money? I rent out a spare room and have savings, so no immediate worries but feel like I might be setting myself up for an impoverished future due to getting off the hamster wheel, so to speak, which scares me.

So, I'm sitting in bed with coffee & cats making some plans in my bullet journal.. but also thinking about putting my CV in with some recruiters.

I had the chance of stopping work aged 55, 9 years ago, but carried on working until March 2020, when I had to stop due to lockdown (I drew a pension since age 55). Since I stopped work, there are not enough hours in the day- the dog gets walked off her feet, the house is always cleaned and maintained, hobbies take up so much time. I know I am very lucky to have an occupational pension, and although it isn't much it has given me an insight into how rich people live their lives (the people who have inherited wealth). Who needs work? There is so much life to live once you are free from it.

I think it's a vicious circle. You feel demotivated so you do less > doing less makes you feel guilty > guilt makes you depressed > feeling depressed, you do less. And on and on.

I've WFH for years and it's really really easy to fall into this state of Meh. If you sense your colleagues are also languishing, it's game over. You start thinking, "What's the point?" And that makes it all boring.

I read once, years ago, that the easiest way to enjoy repetitive/dull things (like work, housework, parenting, anything) was to try to perform at 11 out of 10. THROW yourself into them. Try to be GREAT, not good-enough. Do the very very best you possibly could. Go above and beyond. Aim for excellence.

Sounds exhausting, doesn't it? But it works. Coasting is boring. Pushing yourself is fun.

Shall we all try this today? As an experiment. Let's all give it 110% then report back. If it's bollocks we can always go back to TikTok and Netflix tomorrow.

@tttigress I'm in Scotland and we've hardly been allowed in the office at all since March 2020.

I'd started going in anyway once a week for a bit of variety, but then the covid numbers started rising and with other things planned i didn't want to risk catching covid on the bus or in the office and missing out on something I'd allowed myself to look forward to.

Hopefully in the Spring things will ease off a bit and some semblance of normal life will resume. Mind you they've redone our office so there's hardly any set desks anymore as it's all about the networking apparently, so it will never go back to pre lockdown atmosphere.

I'll give that a go @AlbertBridge . I've tried restricting the iPad and phone and that really helps ( clearly not doing that atm)

I’ve always been a bit meh about work but I’m definitely feeling more disillusioned after a rough few years personally then the pandemic. Ideally I’d love to do 3 hours a day, to get me up and ready for the day, then have the afternoon to go and see friends and family, potter with cooking and improving the house or going to the gym.

DH is such a striver and takes it all very seriously and goes above and beyond but gets paid very well and I admire his passion. I’m on a middling salary in a low management role so I just can’t get too enthused by it. It doesn’t help that we have some crap management and also that I’ve been with the company long enough to go through cycles of people who come in and promise the world then end up trying to implement ideas that got tried before and didn’t work, before moving on in 2 years. I start a new job soon so I need to pull myself together

There is some truth about throwing yourself into it - definitely true re household chores and parenting and even personal habits like exercise.

But work. So much is out of your control. Every so often another ridiculous decision or demand. Every few years a u turn in strategy. Everyone else is languishing. Nobody wants to spend their time to help the rich and powerful get more rich and powerful. I want control of my time, not tied to the screen. BTW I changed jobs and got a pay rise... purely for change of scene... and it didn't help.

I can easily fill my time if not working, kids are young enough.

Same age (ish) 35 and same situation!

I’m just tired! Hospital Doctor and I feel there is no let up. Never have a quiet day where I can nip for a coffee at 11am. Every day is a slog!

The grass is always greener, isn’t it. Except it’s not, really!
I loved my job (hospital doctor), and I also loved retiring, 5 years ago.
But guess what - Covid has made retirement boring and a drag too. My various hobby clubs are all closed due to infection risk/restrictions imposed by Sturgeon and co, holidays are off the agenda, I am alone at home (widowed, kids grown up and at work 50 miles away).
I think some of you might need a change of job, others need to get back to the office after being isolated working from home, but it might help you all to come to terms with your current lives by realising that retirement isn’t great right now either. Covid has squashed all our lives, and I think we will all feel much more positive when the pandemic finally wanes.

I want what precious time I have to be my own. It really is dawning on me here at 51 that life is on a clock

Its bizarre really how even working part time, there can be at times.little difference in the Impact it has on your.life.

Depending on the kind of job you have, short notice shifts or shift swaps, different days on different weeks, etc it can make planning anything really difficult.

Sounds daft to say you are busy with work.when you only do say 15-20 hours. But if you aren't able to sign up for things to do because you work.tuesday one week then Thursday the next and your days off are spent doing the washing hours couldn't do the night before, you end up giving your whole day/life to the job anyway.

I cant count the number of times I've thought to myself I'll go hopping Wednesday as I'm.off that evening and I can get something nice for dinner.

Only to end up working and on a split shift the following day so I can't go shopping til 2 or 3 days later.

In some ways I think its worse..if you are full time you are already working so cant get called in.

Part time. None of the time is your own

I've been reading this thread with interest. I always enjoyed my work, I've had two very different careers and until last summer was full of enthusiasm, despite having to work in my office through covid times and having a lot of onerous responsibilities as a result. My enthusiasm is now through the floor, I can barely drag myself out of bed each morning. I'd prefer to be at home, at a pilates class, out for a run, dressmaking, cooking, anything really. Th e team I work with are lovely, but I couldn't care less if I never saw any of them again.
I thought this was because I'm in my last year at work and will retire in August but now I'm seeing it is a general malaise that is affecting a lot of us. I've gone from thinking of working on another year to marking off the days on a "final countdown" spreadsheet. Good Luck to all of you, I'm so very please I have only 145 days left and not 13 years.

Find something you enjoy or start a small business.
It is absolutely possible to enjoy what you do.

I will be 60 soon and get excited to get back to work after time off. I run a small business from home.

I think the whole covid thing has Made alot of us reevaluate our lives plus it’s a new year so
It’s not a bad time to really think what you want from life op

I feel similar.. I'm 27, Iv been in my current office job for nearly 4 years! Was in my previous job for 2 years and before that I was at uni.. I don't love what I do, it's okay but I'd rather do something else just have no clue what!! I thought I'd of figured it out by now. Truthfully though I've never been the most career motivated person, I really wish I was but I just can't force myself to be, anyway yeah it's just got worse over covid lol, I am looking for a new job tho!

Oh God, I'm so glad you posted this thread. Previous maternity leaves made me want to work more! Now I feel finished. The job is cool but I just totally CBA, it's all just too much effort.

@rookiemere Great! I'll sign off from MN now and go do the stuff I've been putting off. Which is... everything. 😆

I agree with Tumbleweed and think that covid has made us all reassess and it's all a bit pants! 🩲

I don’t think it’s the job. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do (except lounge about reading, taking long walks, shopping etc etc! blush ) I just don’t get the same satisfaction from work any more.

I had 3 months off between jobs once. It was lovely for the first few weeks but beyond that it was really depressing.

We are currently plotting to quit our jobs and open a little Pick Your Own Farm and farm shop. We both used to work really hard but cannot be bothered anymore. Neither of us have any desire to sit in our spare rooms working away forever more.

I quite enjoy a large part of my job, and if I could just do that (solo working, nerdy spreadsheet stuff) I'd be happy. Unfortunately the other part of my job involves speaking to lots and lots of different people and whilst most of them are lovely, I find it really draining and spend most of each day mentally chanting 'fuck off and leave me alone' in my head. I think I need a new job. WFH has definitely made it worse!

Me too. It's especially terrible because as a family we have sacrificed a lot for me to follow my chosen career path, relocating, DP getting the work that he can and not having his career prioritised. We did this because I loved my job. And now the passion has totally gone but I feel like I need to fake it because we've sacrificed too much. Only 30 year until retirement!

Not just you at all.

Lockdown made me face a lot of demons.

I was made redundant and realised I wasn’t doing what I wanted and if I didn’t do it now I never would. I have now gone back part time and am completing my masters.

What do you want to do in life? Is it the right job for you?

It’s been the best decision I’ve ever made but appreciate how fortunate I am

I always loved worked. Was a hard worker still am really. Then my husband died when I was 38. Since then I hate work. I have no motivation for it at all. I simply to it to pay the bills- for survival. I get nothing out of it and it wouldn’t matter what job it was. I would happily stay at home all day littering around “making a home” for my kids when they returned from school. I live for that lottery win even though deep down I know it will never happen, not to be rich just so I don’t have to work and I can pay the bills. I guess in my case the bereavement made me cherish what’s important and for me work isn’t.

@Keke94LND

I feel similar.. I'm 27, Iv been in my current office job for nearly 4 years! Was in my previous job for 2 years and before that I was at uni.. I don't love what I do, it's okay but I'd rather do something else just have no clue what!! I thought I'd of figured it out by now. Truthfully though I've never been the most career motivated person, I really wish I was but I just can't force myself to be, anyway yeah it's just got worse over covid lol, I am looking for a new job tho!

I was like you. I think you should channel the motivation in to constructing a life that works for YOU. If you love free time, make it your motivation to get the type of job where you can go 80% or 60%

I think it's hard to figure it out. I feel like I need 'stillness' and a feeling of all the niggly matters dealt with before I can even start to sit in the calmness and let the obvious ideas of what to do occur to me.

If i'm still running on the hamster wheel, nothing comes to me.