To find working from home lonely, isolating & demotivating

[Laughingstock91]

Currently at home full time as work at a Uni and really really fed up of it.

I find the lack of boundaries between home and work really depressing. I am busy so literally in front of a screen all day. It’s lonely and I miss the fact that work was a distraction from other things going on in my life. I miss the social interaction and the office chat. I am just utterly sick of it. It’s really affecting my mental health already and it’s only January 10th.

Aibu? I feel like there is nothing to look forward to at the moment

@hivemindneeded - I do go to the gym and stuff but as other pp's have said, it's not the same having a quick 'hi' to strangers at the start of a class - it's the general banter with people you know well and like, and in my job (which can be quite pressurised and upsetting) the support of people who know what you're dealing with. I can't really talk to my friends/family about my job because its very confidential information, and also if they aren't in the same field it doesn't make much sense.

For the same confidentiality reasons I'm not allowed to take my laptop to a cafe or anywhere either, and tbh whenever I just go for lunch alone surrounded by other people I just feel worse!

In fairness I'm lucky compared to lots - there were people working with me at the start of the pandemic who were stuck in their bedroom in a shared house having those conversations (about deaths and serious injury etc.) sitting on their bed with nowhere to escape to. At least I have a spare room and garden so can shut the door on the laptop. Lots of the WFH advice is based on middle class professionals, not first time graduates in shared housing who don't even have space to put a desk in their rooms, and who benefit most from peer support. We had a few new starters drop out because they were finding it so hard to try and pick everything up remotely.

I'm planning to move closer to my friends and family so I can do a bit more in the week but can't move until August.

@womencanlift - I 100% agree that extravert/introvert is oversimplifying it. As a fellow introvert I would prefer to have at least some access to the office, not necessarily every day, just once or twice a week. I know extraverts who are much happier WFH because they have partners/children/family/friends popping round so get their social interaction needs met by people they like more than their colleagues.

Sorry some of you have had teary days, I've definitely been there in the last two years, to breaking point last spring.

My top tips are:
Tell someone. And if you have a shit boss can you tell a H&S or wellbeing rep, or a sympathetic colleague? I do wonder if some workplaces realise the impact that isolation has on employees and, to be mercenary about it, their productivity. That can sometimes be the hook that can open up an office to those who really need it.

Also, practice the art of the random chat. We're very bound to teams calendars in my company and booking calls but I've been finding small work reasons to call people (instead of emailing) and have a bit of a natter with it, if they're free. It works the other way too, that if someone sounds a bit flat on a meeting call, give them a follow up call as they may be feeling the same as you. I've done this a few times with some of our graduates and we've jointly come up with plans to do more social and active things that can include the wider team too.

Anyone else got any practical in the day tips ?

Cried every day ag work last week

The energy to give a lump of metal and plastic all day and you get nothing back - no feedback, no body language, not even a thanks

By 3 each day I'm just exhausted and crying

Only social I have time for after doing kids is drinks so went out two nights last week but then tried getting up and when I did drink wine felt even worse the next day

Do people running companies have any idea how difficult it is for job movers or people stuck wfh alone all day with kids / mess in the house.

Honestly, if it's that bad, call in with stress/depression. I did for a few days during 2020 and it raised a flag that things aren't alright.

Agree with PP who suggested trying to make actual calls to people rather than emailing, especially people who you can have a bit of a chat to.

Definitely let you manager know how you’re feeling and see if there’s anyway of spending some time in the office rather than being stuck at home full time

When you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed try and get outside for some fresh air even if it’s just for 2 minutes

But yes, if you’re really struggling and work won’t allow you to not wfh, speak to your doctor because you shouldn’t be forced into a position where you’re crying at work everyday

(Sorry don’t have much advice, I hated wfh and I’m now back in the office full time and so much happier)