Was I in the wrong here or partner re walk

[Ieattoomuchsugar]

We went out for a walk, was quite a high ascent but made it to the top which was great.

We started our descent and then it began getting dark around 4:30pm. The choice was either a road which would take a bit longer or a dirt path. I said we should go on the road as it's safer in the dark and my partner was adamant that the other path was shorter.

We took it and it was essentially a steep downhill mudslide in the dark for large parts of it. I admit I was pretty scared as we had a torch but didn't know the path and we kept slipping over despite having walking boots on. I just felt it was unsafe and we could have injured ourselves. It was a bit terrifying at the time.
We made it out but I was saying to my partner that we should have taken the road as it's safer, at least we made it.
Maybe I was overreacting but I have a bit of a phobia of falling whereas my partner is less afraid and doesn't worry.
If this situation arises again should I just take the safer road on my own ? Or just get over it ?

I’d have taken the road too. Hopefully he’d have been a gentleman and gone with you.

I would have taken the road route. Ideally you need to stay together in the dark, but i would have hoped, unless he is a complete arse, that he would leave you to walk it alone.
It was foolish to take a climb in the dark.

• Wouldn't

I don’t think either were wrong. Just different preferences. I’d probably have preferred the risk, my dh probably the path. We’d probably have tossed a coin to decide

I think you need to plan your hill climbing better, so that you are off the hill before sunset. That might mean leaving it until later in the spring or summer, giving you several extra hours of daylight.
As a general rule, it’s not wise to split up either - you have nobody to help you if you fall, and mountain rescue then potentially have two separate lost climbers to locate.

Ultimately its up to you to keep yourself save and within your limits. If have taken the road and if bullied into going the other way reconsidered if my partner was suitable.

You should go with the least confident/able climbers preference I'd have thought

Did you have a torch for each party member if you were walking on a rural road after dark.

I have deliberately gone for night hikes, even without torches on (although always a torch each to hand) in the past. I don’t see why if you had a good torch each you weren’t able to see where you were putting your feet.

The road would have been safer but you should also have been better prepared and turned back sooner when it became clear you wouldn't get off the hill before dark if you're not prepared for night time hiking in winter, eg both having head torches and emergency equipment.

What would you have done if one of you had broken an ankle or similar and not been able to walk off the hill?

I’d have wanted to take the road too and I’m sure my DH would come with me so YANBU … but I do think the main issue is that you started walking too late and it can be easily avoided in future with a bit of planning.

Yes we should have left earlier in the first place I agree
Just wondered if I was being too sensitive
We had to help each other down the hill at some point as it was just a huge mud bath so I do think going on separate routes would be too dangerous

Does the road have a pavement? If yes, then road probably safer.

If there was no pavement, did you have hi vis reflective clothing and/or lights more than a single torch? If not, I'd have said the path was safer. Pedestrians walking on roads, in the dark, when you can't see them, is just so so dangerous.

Get out sharp around 8.30am climbing and you won't need to fret over which route to take next time. Best walking in day light hours only. Offers more flexibility.

I was about to type out similar to @xyzandabc
How safe was the road in the dark? Living somewhere semi rural I often come come across people walking along the road (no pavement) in the dark with dark clothes and it’s so dangerous as you just can’t see them

But drivers have lights and should not drive in a way where they can't avoid obstacles that could be in the way.

So as well as pedestrians, there could be animals in the road, bends, verges and drop offs the side of the road.

Obviously depends on what the road and hill were like, but in any case, the lesson for the OP is to not hill walk at night in winter unless they are suitably equipped and experienced to deal with likely problems like a fall that makes them unable to walk.

Mountain Rescue organisations have recently stated that they've been busier than ever and a lot of call outs have been due to things going wrong in situations like the OP describes.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-59858501

I think you were both unreasonable to start a climb knowing you’d be descending in the dark.

What kind of road was it? Walking on a road in the dark doesn’t sound a great idea either.

Glad you both got down ok

Ps I think your DH was unreasonable to make you do something that made you feel unsafe

It's just personal preference so I don't think either of you were in the wrong.

But neither of you should have put yourselves in a position where you were descending a hill at night in the dark - it can be so dangerous.

My dad runs - yesterday he slipped, fell and hit his head and has no memory of what happened or how he got home. If he'd done in that in the dark it could have killed him - and people do die every year because they go out unprepared and something goes wrong.

Luckily he went out in daylight, told my mum where he was going and only fell about 100m from home.

I think road would have been better, but once you had started on the mudslide it wouldn't have helped anything to point this out.

Next time we will definitely leave earlier
Also not go the day after it's been heavily raining so it's not so slippery
That's true the road is also dangerous, just felt safer to be walking on tarmac at the time

Personally, at that time of night, Id rather take the steep slope than go on a road unprepared.

Lesson learnt, dont fall out over it, be more prepared next time.

I did say a few times before choosing the mud path that the road would be safer

YABU. The issue is that you returned too late and were coming back in the dark, not the route.

We didn't fall out as such just hadn't anticipated it

@KiloWhat

You should go with the least confident/able climbers preference I'd have thought

This. Or take the option of least risk whetevparties disagree.

No one should be persuaded to take more risk than they are comfortable with.

The mountain rescue teams have had their busiest seasons ever over this winter with more, and more inexperienced walked raking to the hills. I am not saying you are inexperienced, but your DH should have capitulated.