Was I in the wrong here or partner re walk

[Ieattoomuchsugar]

We went out for a walk, was quite a high ascent but made it to the top which was great.

We started our descent and then it began getting dark around 4:30pm. The choice was either a road which would take a bit longer or a dirt path. I said we should go on the road as it's safer in the dark and my partner was adamant that the other path was shorter.

We took it and it was essentially a steep downhill mudslide in the dark for large parts of it. I admit I was pretty scared as we had a torch but didn't know the path and we kept slipping over despite having walking boots on. I just felt it was unsafe and we could have injured ourselves. It was a bit terrifying at the time.
We made it out but I was saying to my partner that we should have taken the road as it's safer, at least we made it.
Maybe I was overreacting but I have a bit of a phobia of falling whereas my partner is less afraid and doesn't worry.
If this situation arises again should I just take the safer road on my own ? Or just get over it ?

Recommend walking poles, as well as starting earlier! They telescope down so they aren’t in the way when you’re not using them.

I’d have used the tarmac road, I feel dizzy on any downward slope.

I would say that walking along an unlit, unfamiliar road at night was more dangerous than going up a path actually. Less risk of falling, but more risk of being hit by a car, which would be likely to cause greater injury. So I suspect if you'd gone the road way, you would have wondered if you ought to have gone the path way.

No point worrying about it now as you're both home safe. But yes, leave earlier (you know it gets dark early at this time of year) and plan your route properly.

I have vertigo and have ended up in walks/situations with my partner where I have become scared. But that's my own fault for not scoping it out properly (he has always helped me, apart from laughing at me scooting down a steep on my arse). But keep walking!

I wasn't cross with him as he could not have known how bad that path would be, I will get a head torch for next time and just go earlier but don't really feel that I need to make a donation over it

I also seem to get dizzy on a downwards slope- could it be vertigo?
The walking poles are a great idea too

He did help me down luckily

Of course you don't have to make a donation if you don't want to.
However OP I hope you've learned a lesson even if it wasn't life threatening.
It's quite irresponsible to have been walking in that terrain in low light.
I'm glad you're safe but you were lucky.

@fallfallfall

I’d consider ending the relationship with someone who didn’t think my safety a priority. The tarmac was the safer option.

Bollocks was it. It was a road not a path, unprepared people walking in the dark on a country road (and probably not walking towards the traffic) would be much more likely to have serious consequences.

@Ieattoomuchsugar

I also seem to get dizzy on a downwards slope- could it be vertigo? The walking poles are a great idea too

I think a better idea would be educating yourself as to how to go out walking safely.

@Babdoc

I think you need to plan your hill climbing better, so that you are off the hill before sunset. That might mean leaving it until later in the spring or summer, giving you several extra hours of daylight. As a general rule, it’s not wise to split up either - you have nobody to help you if you fall, and mountain rescue then potentially have two separate lost climbers to locate.

This is just common sense ^

I don’t mean to be unkind here but I agree with lots of other posters. A poorly planned outing. You started out far too late.

Do some reading up, plan properly (and get home before the sun sets fgs) and enjoy those hills.

Buy a walking pole, definitely; even if it just makes you feel safer (as it does me) it's worth it! I'm always better going up than coming down hills.

Oh no, you don't have to donate if you don't want to.
The attitude of people like you makes me pretty angry tbh. Mountain rescue teams - all volunteers - regularly risk their lives for people like this, who even when their ineptitude and selfishness is pointed out, don't think they've done much wrong. And even say, blitheley, "oh walking poles are a great idea" - as if they'd never been considered before setting off up a hill. A steep hill. In mud. In winter.
Sigh.

If you always get dizzy going downwards, maybe hill walking isn't for you. You do need to prepare better, imo the path is safer as an unlit road at night is a major hazard for walkers, especially if they are inexperienced. Wear reflective gear and leave earlier so you aren't in the dark.

Several of my family work for mountain rescue. They get so many call outs each week because people have done similar to what you’ve described and ended up injured or worse, things can and do go wrong very quickly. You should have taken the road- you need to plan your routes better in advance and leave when it’s light. Make sure you’re better prepared next time.

Better to take the safe route home by road even if it takes longer.

@fallfallfall

I’d consider ending the relationship with someone who didn’t think my safety a priority. The tarmac was the safer option.

Not necessarily - walking along an unlit country road, in the dark in dark clothing is incredibly dangerous and could have easily led to them getting hit by a car.

I drive along narrow lanes and even in daylight you often can't see pedestrians until you're almost on top of them. I don't know what possesses people to think it's safe to walk along them with dogs and small children either - it's like an accident waiting to happen!

@Ieattoomuchsugar

Yes we should have left earlier in the first place I agree Just wondered if I was being too sensitive We had to help each other down the hill at some point as it was just a huge mud bath so I do think going on separate routes would be too dangerous

He probably felt bad as it was way worse than he could have known. You were right about the road.

Learn from this.

Next time say let's make sure we won't be coming back in the dark.

And say if there's a road choice please agree now we will take it, or I'm not coming at all.

Have an agreement in place before going. Be a team.

The problem here isn't the route down, but that you have planned your climb so badly that you were always going to be coming down in the dark.

BTW country road, no pavement, after dark, is a terrible idea. People whizzing round blind bends and probably not expecting to see walkers coming the other way. I presume you were not wearing reflective clothing?

Both pitch black muddy path and country lane at night are shit options.

Depends where you were walking and how high up you were. If it was Snowdonia or a high fell in the Lake District, your partner was unreasonable. If one of you had fallen and been injured, volunteer rescuers would have had to risk their health/bodies to help you.

You were both unreasonable to be so ill-prepared and not have head lamps for walking in winter. And it sounds as though you lacked proper boots and walking poles as well.

@fallfallfall

I’d consider ending the relationship with someone who didn’t think my safety a priority. The tarmac was the safer option.

No it wasn't.

You were both in the wrong for going for a walk when it was getting dark. Both routes were equally as dangerous, walking along the road at night isn’t safe unless wearing high vis? Walking a path you don’t know well is also a bit stupid.

I think the key point here is how important it is to plan in advance. You where both unreasonable for just heading out under prepared.

I have been walking on fells, mountains, long distance high altitude paths etc since I was a child, and have been both well prepared and lucky enough never to have needed help from the MRTs or other emergency services. But I have seen them in action many times, assisted people who have slipped and broken or sprained ankles, given my space blanket to the shivering snd wet, and seen body bags brought down.

I ALWAYS make a modest donation to the MRT in an area where I am walking because part of the reason I feel I can take to the hills is because they exist.

Live and learn OP, and enjoy your hill walking.