Just tried online dating-feel sick

[Itsallabitwank]

Going through a separation, not interested in meeting anyone but thought I’d have a look at a dating site. Felt so weird putting my *Description in of what I’m like and am looking for, then scrolling through faces..none of which looked appealing to me.
Feeling bit scared, I’m 44 with a young daughter, am I destined to be alone forever?
Did anyone meet their other half a bit later on in a more natural situation?
I’m not against OD i just don’t think it will be for me

Hi, I'm 44 and in the same boat. I posted on here about it actually.

Long story short It was too soon. Friends had success even if just for a confidence boost but I had a horrendous experience with it.

Lack of interest, then people who were married and just none of the blokes appealed to me really.

After decided to give it a break. Then my ex wanted to win me back, found me on there and all he'll broke loose.

I've decided to just concentrate on me until I figure out what I actually want.

@mrsnec Feel really dismayed!

Were they married but pretending not to be?! Did you go on any dates?

I personally would rather join a meet up group(sport/dance/walk et).

Honestly I think that just confirms you're in no way ready. But that doesn't mean you'll be alone forever, give over! Give it six months or a year and have another look then. Tbh there's unlikely ever to be a moment where everyone on there looks amazing but you only need one... presumably?

No, I didn't go on any dates. I only got chatting to 4 blokes and I approached them all.

One was too desperate gave me his number straight away and wanted to take me out that night and got stroppy when I said I wanted to get to know him first.

The next one said he was talking to too many other women and didn't have time for me.

Then I spoke to one for 3 hours who then told me he was still married and still living with his wife

And then number 4 I was messaging for weeks, it never went anywhere and he just disappeared.

Lots of the responses I got on here said things like it's a numbers game but I really don't have the time or patience and I'm hoping I don't have to go down that road again. I know loads of success stories with it and hoped mine would be too but it did more harm than good

Clearly you are just not ready, best to wait until you are divorced and then some.

I met someone when we were both mid/late 40s. We met through mutual friends. I don't have any children so may have been easier for me, but he does have DC and they're with him full-time. So yes, it can and does happen later in life. However, if you're only just separating, just give yourself more time. OLD can be horrible anyway but particularly so if a relationship has only recently ended.

I meet my partner later in life in a social group, it happens.

Sounds way too soon

@mrsnec Sounds awful 😣
Just really doesn’t seem like my thing. I’m only thinking tentatively of the future. How else do people meet though if you’re a mum of a young child and don’t/don’t want to go out to bars etc anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

I met my DH OLD... albeit 15 years ago when I was 28! SIL met her DH on tinder 4 years ago when she was 37... love can be found OLD!!

@nzborn What do you mean by social group? The thing is all my friends are mum friends really and all still married/in relationships..not necessarily happy ones

To be honest my separation has got a bit messy anyway and is taking up all my head space anyway and I've moved to an area where I don't know anyone yet so I just want to make sure I'm fully healed and then go down the sports/social groups route first although God knows quite what yet.

Oh and I might get a dog. All the fit blokes round here have dogs.

Stay away from POF

Honestly, I could've written your post. I'm on pof and badoo as I don't want to use a location based app.. It's honestly so depressing, so many horrible men, so many attractive men. I don't want to sound superficial but you're attracted to how someone looks in their first picture so therefore appearance is reasonably important.
I'm fed up of messages just saying "hi" or "hi sexy" or "what you up to babes"
I started talking to someone and we exchanged numbers, he started mentioning stiletto heels and how as long as I wear them on a first date and in the bedroom, he's happy.. He got blocked yesterday.
I'm thinking of coming off it although as I don't have the will or way to persevere. I find it hugely depressing.

Unattractive* not attractive

I have been on dating apps a while, have met a few people but also had some pretty horrific dates. The dating sites seem to be even worse now and I struggle to find anyone that I would consider dating.

@Shyla867 Eurgh, are the guys all really creepy?
That’s what I’m wondering, would nice, normal guys go on them? Again, not putting them down, just find it all a bit cringe for me

@mrsnec I have just joined old too. Im 41 with 2 kids and going though messy divorce. I haven't had much luck, had one lovely date who then ghosted me. But its a good distraction, try to just see it as that and maybe a bit of fun and romance . Hoping that love will come eventually! good luck xx

So far I've not found a single person I would consider a potential date. Its all the men that others don't want on apps like pof..

I know a woman who met her second husband at a meetup group, and have heard various anecdotes online about how it's a great way to meet people. That said, it doesn't sound like you actually want to meet someone at all at the moment, do you have friends for support and general socialising?

meet up is a social group all over the world.

It's not a dating group it's about meeting people with common interests ie a German Shepard walking group or art appreciation.

But it's a way of meeting people in real life if you feel someone is inappropriate you just contact the group organizer who will deal with it.

I wasn't looking for someone to date just enjoying myself.

Good luck in your future.

I didn't actually find any creeps but I found myself approaching blokes that I thought looked and sounded reasonable and normal rather than ones I actually fancied and I was gutted about the lack of interest across 3 sites when I had my parameters set so high (35-55, 250 mile radius) and literally nobody approached me.

I met my partner/boyfriend/whatever on POF. We've been courting 18 months now, and it's worked out really well! I'm 52.

Online dating is not for the faint-hearted. You have to be in a fairly robust frame of mind and "fuck you" mindset to be able to do it.

The first time I dipped a toe on the water shortly after my marriage failed I felt like this. Awful, soiled, uneasy, disgusted, depressed. I massively overthought the initial interactions I had and took my profile down after a few days.

I tried again about a year later when I was in a much better place. I'm not going to say I enjoyed it because tbh online dating is a necessary evil and at the best of times its a meat market but I was ready to deal with it. 95% of the people you will interact there won't be right for you and its full of sleazes, cheat and timewasters. But there are decent people on there -- I'm in a relationship with one.

But you do have to have a tough hide and be prepared to shrug off the opinions and behaviour of arseholes.

It sounds like you're nowhere near ready.