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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am unreasonable

148 replies

Holly524 · 09/01/2022 18:14

Hello, really need some advice please... I am married with 2 children age 6 and 7.
My Mum has offered to pay for all the family to go to Spain this summer this will include us, grandparents, my brother his wife and their son. I really want to go but my husband is dead against it and has today said he won't go. He has said he hasn't got enough holiday days as he is prioritising football trips with his friends over a holiday with my family.
Am I wrong to go without him? I really would like to go and my children I know will love it. Please any advice as I am in 2 minds as to whether its unfair to leave him and go with the kids. Thanks

OP posts:
iklboo · 09/01/2022 18:42

Ta, ta hubby. Don't forget to feed the cat / dog / fish / hamster.

GrazingSheep · 09/01/2022 18:43

@Bellyups
He isn’t
They have 2 holidays booked separately

TheLastDeb · 09/01/2022 18:46

Why would it be unfair in him for you to offer to take two young children away to handle by yourself while he pleases himself at home?!

Genuinely not following the logic.

MrsMo21 · 09/01/2022 18:46

The fact you have to ask this on Mumsnet and think you’re being unreasonable signals to me there’s bigger problems here than agreeing to go on a holiday.

Gilly12345 · 09/01/2022 18:47

Definitely go to Spain with your extended family, I think he is a jerk for prioritising his friends and football matches over his family. Leave him behind and have a great time and don’t feel guilty at all, his loss.

TopCatsTopHat · 09/01/2022 18:47

You have two family holidays together booked, he's got multiple footy trips with his mates and you're agonising over 5 days with your family... Is he overbearing and domineering? It's the only way I can make sense of you needing to even ask.

frazzledasarock · 09/01/2022 18:49

Regardless of the two holidays planned.

The H is off on a holiday with his mates OP can go on holiday with her family, it’s not even coming out of the family pot.

Go OP and have a fab time.

MajorCarolDanvers · 09/01/2022 18:52

Go and enjoy.

5keletor · 09/01/2022 18:54

I would hate a big family holiday like this and wouldn't go, but if my partner wanted to go, I would have no issue with that. Of course it's fine for you to go. 🙂

GeorgiaGirl52 · 09/01/2022 18:55

@ShowerChair

Go!

He is happy to have time away from the family, so only fair he is happy for you to have time away from him.

This^
KatherineJaneway · 09/01/2022 18:57

Just go!

Pipsquiggle · 09/01/2022 18:58

Totally go and have an amazing time

PurplePinecone · 09/01/2022 18:58

Definitely go. When he's going on his football holidays I assume you will be left home with the kids? So don't feel you can't go!

Ragruggers · 09/01/2022 19:03

Yes go and enjoy.

Georgeskitchen · 09/01/2022 19:03

Go go go!!

butterpuffed · 09/01/2022 19:05

You already have two holidays booked for the four of you. He's going on a couple of football breaks and you're wondering about going on a holiday with your family .

Can't see what the problem is.

Suzanne999 · 09/01/2022 19:09

Go. Have a great holiday.

PinkSyCo · 09/01/2022 19:10

Unfair to who? A grown arse man who prioritises his mates and football over his wife and kids? I don’t think so! Confused

Lilymossflower · 09/01/2022 19:16

Of course you should go with out him !!

drpet49 · 09/01/2022 19:21

**WTF? Why are you even asking this question? He apparently has no qualms about fucking off to god knows where with his footie mates.

Again I ask: why do so many women settle for such low standards in their partners?**

^This. Absolutely go on the holiday.

esloquehay · 09/01/2022 19:22

Go. And, I hope you have a bloody brilliant time. X

whowhatwhen · 09/01/2022 19:23

My husband is the same, I go in my own with DS, go and enjoy yourself

Coasterfan · 09/01/2022 19:29

Go and have a great time!! I don’t work school holidays, DH only gets 20 days holiday so I take the kids away without him all the time. You ll have a great time with your family and if he has prioritised football trips over family time he really can’t complain!

Thevoiceofreason2021 · 09/01/2022 19:29

Go
If he doesn’t want to spend his holiday leave with your family, so what? It doesn’t stop you and the kids going.
I hope you are also getting a couple of wee days away with your mates - if it’s good enough for him…

fallfallfall · 09/01/2022 19:38

please go, and please enjoy yourself.
sadly it doesn't bode well that his priorities for vacation time is football.
you staying home while he's out on a jolly with his buddies isn't being a good wife mother or daughter.
take lots of photo's.