Just chilling after Sunday lunch, door bell goes, eldest DD expecting her boyfriend goes to answer and shouts out the above in a loud voice. DH and myself go into the hall and standing there spluttering out " I am not some random bloke I am your dad" is my exh.
For context we split when I was pregnant with DD, he would disappear out of her life for years at a time, never paid anything in maintenance, he actually told his family she was not his, would turn up, demand to see her and then vanish again. She is 21 now and started calling her step dad, dad through her choice at about 8 years old (she has always known her and her 2 sisters have different dads) but loves him and her little sisters, when she was about 14 he reappeared again and she refused to see him, so off he went with a huff, he tried again a few years later and again she refused (he claimed I had turned her against him.)
Fast forward to today and my DD turned round and said to DH dad can you take the girls into the back room, whilst holding up her hand to silence her real dad, once they had gone turned back to him, and said
"When I said random I meant it, who the F are you to turn up here and claim to be my dad, you know F all about me, never gave a F about me so F off and leave us alone "
Slams door in his face and is visibly upset and tells me to get rid of him, I open the door and tell him she does not want to see him, again accused of turning her against him and he waves his 15 year old court contact order in my face, Good luck with that one she is an adult. DH comes out and suggests he leaves or we will be phoning the police to ask for advice.
AIBU that she hates her father or not, if I am being honest I just think of DH as her father and have done for years as he is the only constant she has ever known, but this just makes me feel bad, as people I know have split and co-parented fine just never happened with us.