Boyfriend going speed dating

[EnviroLeg]

My boyfriend has a good friend who is looking to meet someone to settle down with.

The friend thinks my bf is single as he hasn’t told him about our relationship yet.

The friend has asked my bf along to go speed dating with him at a local pub. I don’t think I am ok with this but my bf thinks I am being controlling.

AIBU?

Do you REALLY have to ask if YABU?!

DUMP HIM!

He says he is only going to support his friend but he is saying that it will be weird if he doesn’t take part in the actual ‘dating’ part of it

Does he really think you're THAT stupid

hmm so hes going along to support his friend , but must take part in it otherwise its weird , when of course he could just tell his friend about you . but your not supposed to object because its controlling , its almost laughable

he sounds like hes got the mentality of a teenager and im sorry op id be fucking this one off . he wouldnt want to be reading the text message id be sending him thats for sure , you can do much better than this

I'm sorry you feel confused and upset, but really what's to discusswith him ?

You've already said he tries to gaslight you, calls you controlling. There's nowhere back from that in my eyes.

Trust your gut - it's totally inappropriate a man with a year long 'relationship' to go speed dating with the intention of hooking up with other women. Even if you were to persuade him not to go, frankly I'd dump him as he obviously doesn't think that much of you.

For fucks sake!!
Give your head a massive wobble!! You know this isn't right because it's insane!!
Dump this twat who hasn't even told his friend about you so he's not committed!!
Move on and up your standards, please!!!

He isn't your boyfriend he is a friend with benefits.

You’ve been together a year and his friends don’t know about you! He’s not your boyfriend. Find someone worthy of that title.

What a twat.

My god, dump him, fgs woman.

'His friends can be overbearing if they know he's in a relationship'

What does that mean? What exactly is he afraid of?

@EnviroLeg Have you ever listened to Female Dating Strategy? I think they have a Reddit page too.

www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/

I think this will be a good start in helping you undestand your worth and how to assert that in your dating life. You do seem to have very low self esteem and unfortunately there will always be people only to happy to exploit that, but you deserve so much better.

@MichelleScarn

Why don't you go along to the dating night too? Might meet someone much nicer!

^^This! 😀 He can’t exactly object!

What the…. You’ve been together a year and you’re unreasonable for saying he maybe should feel his friends abo you rather than go speed dating

I can’t begin to say how very not unreasonable you are being.

@EnviroLeg

I do know that it’s messed up. I’m not even sure that I can get past the fact that he wanted to go and tried to convince me it was a normal thing. Even if he says he isn’t going.

I just started to doubt myself because he’s so convincing.

I’m going around to his tonight and will be having a discussion with him.

He'll try and gaslight the shit out of you, based on your posts about him already. Be prepared to be made out to be controlling, or unreasonable, etc, when what he's really wanting is you to back down and shut up.

After a year, if he was really into you, you'd be out there in public as his GF already. I reckon you are just his "will do for now".

I was expecting you to say you've been together a couple weeks...but a year!!

You deserve someone who wants to proudly stand by your side. I've been in the same situation with someone who kept me a secret for months. As you can imagine things ended badly. This is without him wanting to go speed dating in the process too.

Run. Find someone who respects you.

He's keeping his options open. Nice.

Tell him his options are wide open as you're out. Bag up any things he keeps at yours at tell them they're outside in a bin bag.

He's looking for 'permission' to cheat on you.

DUMP DUMP DUMP!

In the bin with him. Honestly it’s not this hard when they like you

I agree , say yes that’s fine but I am going to go as well .

This is ridiculous. It would be one thing to go toa pub pub be a "wingman" just to give company and pep talk. But to participate? Ridiculous. Maybe he will need to go on double dates to support...maybe even holidays...you know to support.

Bf is an ass and hiding you for some reason.

It’s at a local pub too. If this friend is such a good friend how come he doesn’t know about you?

Bet you BF is going to be wearing his “pulling” shirt and lucky pants to the event!

Wtaf! Nice way for him to turn this onto you and try to make you seem the unreasonable one! He’s not single, he shouldn’t be taking part in dating events, he shouldn’t be wasting the time of single women if he’s not available, he shouldn’t be lying that he’s single, if he’s not lying that he’s single then he shouldn’t be checking the waters to see if there’s anyone better out there, he shouldn’t be pairing with a single guy for ‘support’ when his friend should go with another single person.

All of the above are true. There is nothing remotely reasonable about any of it. What the actual fuck is he playing at?!

He wont tell people because they go ott-wtf does that even mean

My dh told his family on our 2nd date about me-hes lying to you and keeping you dangling

Get some self respect fgs.

This isn't a bf.

So he's told you he keeps you a secret and that way he gets permission to do things like date/cheat on you. Wow. What a catch.

Go speed dating yourself op. You might meet someone actually worth dating.

Uh-huh. And if your friend asked you to go on a double date I'm sure he'd be totally fine with that...